December 2009

OCD DIARIES 12-30: The Break

by Bill Brenner December 30, 2009 Addiction

The author tries to take a break from writing, but chaos in the form of his two sons reminds him of another lesson worth sharing. Sean and Duncan have the audacity to fight over video games at this early hour, my usual writing window. Back before I found control over the OCD, this normal childhood behavior would send me over the edge. Fighting children equals chaos. People like me don’t do chaos well. I am,…  [Read More]

Insanity to Recovery in 8 Songs or less

by Bill Brenner December 29, 2009 Coping tools

The author shares some videos that together make a bitchin’ soundtrack for those who wrestle with mental illness and addiction. The first four cover the darkness. The next four cover the light. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a devoted fan of hard rock and metal music [See How Metal Saved Me]. I’ve found that the music helps me to release whatever negative thoughts I may have at the time. And so I thought I’d share…  [Read More]

OCD DIARIES: The 12 Steps of Christmas

by Bill Brenner December 29, 2009 Addiction

The author reviews the 12 Steps of Recovery and takes a personal inventory. There’s really no Christmas theme here, other than that the author found the headline catchy. I’m reconstituting my OA food plan quite nicely since the Christmas Eve scare. I’m lucky for not having slipped completely. Now I find myself thinking about the 12 steps this program is based on. It’s been a bit since I’ve reviewed them to see where I fit…  [Read More]

Scaring the People in Your Life

by Bill Brenner December 28, 2009 Love

The author is hearing from a lot of old friends shocked to read about his past. Thing is, basket cases are good at hiding their craziness in public. To most of my family, the stories I tell in previous posts aren’t all that surprising. They were there. My in-laws may not have known everything that was going on back in the day, but they saw my quirks. Mood music: [spotify:track:78iMIaSjeVlUoNa7rehPOU] Even at work, my quirks…  [Read More]

OCD Diaries 12-27: Edge of a Relapse

by Bill Brenner December 27, 2009 Addiction

The author comes dangerously close to a relapse, but lives to fight another day. Mood music for this entry: “Accidents Can Happen,” by Sixx A.M.: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nan4Kdtz-9w&hl=en_US&fs=1&] It was bound to happen sooner or later. That moment where the addiction would come calling again. [Instead of retreading my history of addiction here, I’ll point you toward the entry that gets into it all: A Most Uncool Addiction.] I put down the flour and sugar — my…  [Read More]

Fear Factor

by Bill Brenner December 23, 2009 Children's issues

In this installment, the author describes years of living in a cell built by fear, how he broke free and why there’s no turning back. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” — Franklin Delano Roosevelt This morning I led a meeting of Over-eaters Anonymous, a task that included standing before a room of people for 30 minutes to tell my story of OCD, addiction and recovery. It was my third time…  [Read More]

OCD Has its Benefits

by Bill Brenner December 21, 2009 Mental disorders

I’ve joked to people before that having OCD isn’t all bad. One benefit is that it gives you extra drive to get things done. Most of the time that drive is spent on all the wrong things: checking the door eight times to make sure it’s locked, going bat-house crazy when something on your desk is knocked out of place (and I have a lot of stuff on my desk), and trying to make sense…  [Read More]

The Bridge Rats of Point of Pines, Revere

by Bill Brenner December 21, 2009 Lessons from the past

In this post, the author reviews the imperfections of childhood relationships in search of all his OCD triggers. Along the way, old bullies become friends. I used to blame childhood bullies and name-callers for all the things that led to an adulthood with OCD. I was bullied, you ask? You betcha. I was called a lot of names related to being fat. Some kids gave me the occasional beating.┬áBut I was no better than they…  [Read More]

Fear of Loss

by Bill Brenner December 20, 2009 Family

The author looks back at fear of loss and how he learned to enjoy the precious present.

The Better Angels of My Nature

by Bill Brenner December 18, 2009 Addiction

It’s not hard for me to write about OCD, binge eating and pills. These are a part of life for people across political and religious divides. Depression and anxiety will hit you whether you’re Catholic, Baptist or agnostic; Democrat, Republican or Libertarian. Religion and politics. Those are tough. Those who know me know I have strong opinions on both. But I walk a delicate path between friends and family who are all over the map…  [Read More]