Since a big ego is often part of the OCD persona, the author has decided to see where Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter fit in.
People with big egos often think of themselves as beautiful, even when they’re not. And as I’ve told you before, we OCD cases have big egos. [See The Ego OCD Built]
As part of my recovery — and my larger Faith journey — I’ve had to deal with this issue head on. It’s the most unsettling of truths: For someone like me, mental disorder comes with a hole in the soul. Like anyone with that problem, I’ve tried to fill the hole over the years with addictive behavior.
I’ve kicked the binge eating and alcohol but still have the caffeine and, on occasion, cigars. And I have social networking.
There. I’ve said it.
Facefook/LinkedIn/Twitter etc. — all tools someone like me can use to fill that hole.
Look down the ride side of this blog. I made damn sure you had a way to connect to me in all these places.
A lot of this is for professional purposes. When you write for a living, you need to use these platforms to proliferate your articles. If nobody reads ’em, it doesn’t matter how much effort you put in.
But there’s a personal side as well.
I NEED to be part of whatever discussion everyone’s having online. I need to show off my work and family so those who thought I was careening down a dead-end street back in the day will know I made something of my life.
If you feel uncomfortable reading this, it’s probably because it’s the same way with you.
Remember a couple months ago when all the ladies were putting bra colors in their status updates? It was technically to promote breast cancer awareness, but let’s be honest. All anyone really thought of were the bra colors and the cup sizes. One female writer who did a column on it admitted she participated because she was looking for a little attention.
Some show off more than others on Facebook, but let’s face it: Everyone’s on there looking for friendship; someone who cares. There’s not really anything wrong with that.
But when you have something like OCD and addictive behavior, that impulse is amplified times 10. So I need to be careful. I know when I send out a lot of tweets I risk pissing someone off, especially since all my tweets go straight to Facebook. I know I’ve been dropped by people on Facebook and Twitter for that reason. And that’s fine. If someone can care less about information security articles, do they really want to be staring down the firehose I use to blast out content? I think not.
Since I’m aware that my presence on Facebook and Twitter can be a bit much, I’m trying to work on it. I’ll keep shooting out the work content, because it’s my job. If someone unfollows me for that, so be it.
On the personal side, though, I’m trying to be more measured, limiting my posts to amusing things my kids say and do and, when I really can’t help myself, the music I’m listening to or the amount of coffee I’m consuming.
I try to avoid putting people down or whining about my drama of the day. I also try not to make the posts all about me, though that gets tricky when you write and promote a personal blog. But I try not to shove my political and spiritual beliefs down your throat or get all high and mighty when somebody slips and falls on their own hubris.
If you see me failing on that score, call me on it.
Just in case I am screwing this one up, it’s always the first thing I bring up in the Confession booth. As I like to say, never leave the trash piling up in your soul. Nobody wants to be around a soul that’s rotting and stinking.
I leave you with a diagram I’ve used before, from Despair.com. For a little fun, have a study and see where you fit in:
It’s weird that I had no attachment to you via the security connection, which we have both been in for years. I found you because of this blog and I followed you on Twitter and Facebook to keep up with your updates. The returning comes in not only because you are entertaining, but it provides great comfort in knowing you are not alone when combating something like OCD.
Once you push yourself onto the internet, in any kind of public display of personal information, you are going to have people that think it is for selfish reasons. I’ve gotten that a lot over the past 9 years. It might have started out that way because of the TV show and the KM years, but that’s long over, and these days it’s just a way to keep up with the people I met through this medium so we can keep up with what’s going in each others’ lives. All I do is initiate the conversation.