Is Humor Reinforcing the OCD Stigma?

I got an interesting response to some older posts about OCD gag gifts — particularly one about OCD hand sanitizer. The reader was worried these gifts and other brands of OCD humor would only reinforce the stigma monster that keeps people like us in the shadows.

Mood music:

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Here’s the comment, from Arthur Lawrence:

I can laugh at it, and so can you. We both have OCD. And laughing at the OCD “monster” does indeed weaken it. This is a therapeutic application. What bothers me are the millions who have no idea what OCD really is.

For them, products like this continue to trivialize OCD and help keep those millions uninformed about this disease.

Should we now have “Tourette itch powder”? It would be about as appropriate as this product. Again, I don’t dispute what you say about laughing at one’s own “mental defects.” But I do know that OCD research and treatment are still in the dark ages, relatively speaking. And products like this, out in the general public, aren’t going to get people to believe that OCD can be as debilitating as cancer. It needs to be taken as seriously as cancer.

Mocking it will almost certainly not help that to happen.

Arthur makes an important point.

I still firmly believe that humor is an important coping tool for someone learning to manage depressive mental disorders. Abraham Lincoln, a chronically depressed man for much of his adult life, relied on it during the darkest days of the Civil War. He reveled in telling jokes and amusing stories. It helped get him through the pain, long before antidepressants were created.

But the stigma around OCD is still alive and well. I see people all the time talking about “their OCD” when they’re really talking about their Type-A personalities. That doesn’t bother me much, but I know other OCD cases that get wounded by such talk. OCD behavior is still the stuff of ridicule and belittling. People will still make fun of a person’s quirks, which embarrasses and hurts that person when they inevitably find out they’re being made fun of.

Would people find the gags funny if they were about cancer or Tourettes? The truth is that we think differently about physical diseases than mental diseases. We understand the ramifications of physical diseases better and they’re more socially acceptable in that regard. And when a physical disease is a lethal one, we have much less tolerance for jokes about it. Yet people will make jokes about all manner of things for all kinds of reasons.

In the final analysis, I think most health issues need to be addressed with a combination of sober education and humor. People need to know the suffering real OCD brings about, just as people need to know the anguish a cancer patient experiences.

But we need to laugh at our conditions once in a while, too, because the laughter makes the disease appear smaller, even if it’s only for a few moments.

THE OCD CHEF

The Song Remains Not the Same

My fingertips are sore and black because I’ve practiced my guitar playing every day since pulling it from its box on my birthday 11 days ago. They hurt like hell, but it’s a very satisfying pain.

Mood music:

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My technique is still all wrong because I haven’t had face-to-face lessons yet, though I’ve been using several lessons I found on YouTube. Despite my lack of proper chording so far, I’m finding that I can make sounds that sound good to me. I define “good” by the sound’s ability to take my brain someplace else while mysteriously helping me exist in the moment at the same time.

That may sound strange, but it’s how I feel.

I’ve also quickly remembered where I left off 19 years ago, when I last played the instrument.

Once my skills and confidence are at a more comfortable level, I’ll start recording bits of what I’ve been doing and put them on the SoundCloud page I set up this week.

I’ll even start singing and writing lyrics again, making the best with what I have.

Future posts in this blog will be more musical as a result, with my own stuff for mood music, complete with lyrics to follow along with. How long will it take me to get there? I don’t know, but I’m in no great hurry.

I love that I’m able to do more with music than simply being a bystander. For me, rock ‘n’ roll has always been a source of strength in times of trouble. As I’ve said before, the more angry metal I listened to as a kid wrung out any real violence in me and probably steered  me away from a life of crime.

My musical tastes remain heavy but not quite so angry. I don’t consider Van Halen an angry band. They play hard, but the lyrics are all about living, loving and having a good time, troubles be damned.

But I don’t think rock is the only vehicle.

I know others get the same salvation from classical, country, folk and jazz.

If the music takes you from your ugly place, it’s all good — no matter how out of tune it may be.

That said, I really need to get on the ball and get those lessons.

Bill on guitar

Welcome Back, Mrs. Silva

I rushed to the kids’ school this afternoon for a parent-teacher meeting and saw the most excellent sight: Eileen Silva, back in the mix, helping her fellow teachers sort through the usual chaos of afternoon dismissal. The first-grade teacher missed all last year due to illness, but she’s back, and it’s like she never left.

Mood music:

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We Brenners love Mrs. Silva for many of the same reasons other parents and students do: She’s a kind, nurturing and patient soul. But she’s particularly special to us because of what she did for Duncan at a very critical stage of his life.

Duncan was in first grade when he was first diagnosed with ADHD, and we didn’t know where to begin when the pediatrician gave us a list of recommendations as thick as a small novel. We brought it to Mrs. Silva during one of our after-school meetings. Some teachers might be overwhelmed to read a big bulleted list of recommendations like that. Teachers have plenty on their plate just dealing with the normal challenges of running a class full of boisterous children. Throw in a few kids with special requirements, and I’m sure it can be too much to take at times. True, every teacher has a few students with extra needs. That’s part of the job. But I’ve seen some handle it better than others.

Mrs. Silva took the list and lit up. She was thrilled to have so many details to work with, and she incorporated it into Duncan’s work load with grit and grace.

From our perspective, we had a big ally in our corner and felt like we might actually be able to get Duncan what he needed after all. Since then we’ve had plenty of support from other teachers and administrators. Duncan has done a lot of hard work himself, and we’re very proud of him.

But Mrs. Silva gets a very special place in our hearts because she helped us get this steamroller moving.

When I was Duncan’s age, I was the student teachers’ nightmares are made of. I had a boulder-sized chip on my shoulder because of serious childhood illness and my parents’ less-than-amicable divorce.

I also had learning difficulties. I received special services like Duncan did, but back then misbehaving kids were more likely to be written off as damaged goods. Today, the better school districts have a more rigorous process in place to ensure kids don’t fall through the cracks.

That’s how it often seems from my perspective, anyway.

There were teachers along the way that I felt were in my corner, rooting for me to overcome my limitations. But none were like Mrs. Silva.

For most parents, the greatest wish is for their kids to have it better than they did. When it comes to Duncan having an ally to guide him through the early rough patches, I got my wish.

Thanks, Mrs. Silva, and welcome back.

Mrs. Silva

Most Days Are Like New England Weather

Last Friday started in a brutal fashion. I woke up more than an hour late after a lousy night’s sleep. As a result, I fell way behind with work. To top it all off, the kids had the day off and were making all kinds of noise.

Mood music:

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For the first two hours of the day, my mood was bleak. My head pounded, I felt disoriented and I was convinced my day was going to suck on every level.

Two hours later, I had caught the workload up to where it was supposed to be, the kids had settled into some activity, and I was sitting on a sun-kissed deck with my beloved, drinking a fresh cup of Starbucks she bought me on the way home from a doctor’s appointment.

The rest of the day was pretty pleasant. I even found a couple of hours to practice my guitar playing, using some nifty online lessons I found on YouTube.

Which brings me to the point of this post: If you’re having a shitty morning, don’t write off the rest of the day. Most days are like New England weather: Wait five minutes and it’ll change.

I used to let a couple of bad hours destroy the entire day. Truth be told, I still do sometimes, especially in the winter, when I’m more susceptible to mood swings because of the shorter windows of sunlight.

I wasted a lot of good life that way. I went on many addiction-fueled binges because of it.

Fortunately, I’m much better at catching myself in those downward moments. Friday was a good example of that.

It makes for a much better existence.

Sunset

Dad Update, Part 2

Thanks for all your continued prayers and well wished for my father. I quick update:

Though he does have cardiovascular disease — he has for years — that wasn’t the cause of his hospitalization after all. It turns out a stomach infection was the culprit behind his lungs filling with fluid. That’s the theory they’re working with for the moment. Either way, it was infection-related and not the result of a heart attack.

I took the kids to visit him Saturday and he looked much better than he did on my birthday. His color was better and he was in good spirits. Hopefully, he’ll be out of the hospital before long.

I’ll keep y’all posted.

Thanks again.

Today’s Dumb Politics, Explained In A Star Wars Meme

I’ve spent a lot of time in this blog telling you why I’ve become more politically apathetic with age. Yesterday, someone on Facebook posted a Star Wars meme that captures my sentiments in a nutshell.

It explains the state of today’s political discourse better than I ever could. Still, if you want to delve deeper into my perception of today’s politics, check these out:

Bill Maher: Bomb Thrower from the Left

Ann Coulter and the Politics of Hate

Romney’s Lesson: When You Try To Be Someone Else, People Notice

Obama Killed Andrew Breitbart? You People Are Stupid

A Rebellious Catholic’s Analysis Of Rick Santorum

Never Have I Cared So Little About The N.H. Primary

Gay Haters Or Just Idiots?

Racists AND Idiots