As a metalhead and father of two children, I found this video amusing and, occasionally, a little bit too real.
http://youtu.be/r7ZnOlVD3Ds
Cognitive Impairment and Stupidity Aren’t the Same Thing
Writers and editors at The Independent had some fun with an article about a virus that, as they put it, “makes people more stupid.” The problem is that they confuse impaired cognitive function with stupidity. The headline may get attention, but it’s irresponsible.
Mood music:
http://youtu.be/4GzUh4PJVx8
The article begins with this:
A virus that infects human brains and makes us more stupid has been discovered, according to scientists in the US. The algae virus, never before observed in healthy people, was found to affect cognitive functions including visual processing and spatial awareness.
The article says 40 of 90 people studied tested positive for the so-called algae virus. “Those who tested positive performed worse on tests designed to measure the speed and accuracy of visual processing. They also achieved lower scores in tasks designed to measure attention,” the article stated.
So, we have a bacteria that can make people more stupid? Here’s a definition, for you:
stu·pid
adjective ?stü-p?d, ?styü-
: not intelligent : having or showing a lack of ability to learn and understand things
: not sensible or logical
: not able to think normally because you are drunk, tired, etc.
Source: Merriam-Webster
Thing is, hampered cognitive and visual processing is not the same as “not intelligent.”
I know many people, myself included, who endure varying degrees of mental impairment that puts a damper on cognitive function, attention and visual processing. When SAD hits me each winter, my attention span and ability to process situations in front of me go straight to the gutter. Friends and loved ones suffer similar problems at the hands of ADHD and autism.
Despite these disadvantages, we learn and gain a new understanding of things daily. We grow. We contribute value to society.
This algae bacteria sounds unpleasant, indeed. Nothing is more frustrating to a person than a body chemistry that pollutes and diminishes the senses.
But it hardly equates to stupidity.
I’ll refrain from affixing that label to the folks responsible for this article, because they too have the ability to learn and understand new things.
I hope they do so in this case.
5 Stages of Depression: Like Grief, Only Different
I first wrote this in 2014. Amid COVID-19, a lot of us are going to go through bouts of depression. Back then, I found it useful to use the five stages of grief as a reference point for what I was feeling. It helped me get to the other side. May it help you now. It won’t make the depression go away. But it might help you deal with it.
There are plenty of articles out there about the so-called five stages of grief. Based on my experiences in that department, I find the writings mostly accurate and valuable.
I’ve been thinking lately about how there are also stages of depression, not unlike those of grief. Identifying them can help you know where you are and what’s going on. Note: this is not a scientific effort. It is simply based on my own experiences.
Mood music:
- Denial and isolation. Things start to go wrong, but you’re not immediately aware of them. Your short-term memory starts to slip, you become disorganized, and you protest when those who love and know you best suggest you may be heading for an episode. You respond by clamming up and ignoring friends when they ask you to have coffee. You spend a lot more time on the couch.
- Anger. After one too many days in denial, you start to realize you’re again slipping into depression. This makes you angry, and you start taking it out on those around you. Your self-worth begins to sink, and you start to feel you can’t do anything right. This leads to more anger, self-loathing, and self-pity.
- Bargaining. During grief, this is the stage where a person repeatedly goes over the what-ifs: what if the loved one had gotten medical attention sooner, what if you’d recognized the problem for what is was, etc. With depression, the bargaining works a bit differently. You plays the blame game with the world around you. You’re depressed because of work. You’re depressed because of a disagreeable family member. If the depression is really bad, you blame anyone and anything but the disease within your own brain.
- Melancholy. With grief, the fourth stage is depression. Within the depression itself, the fourth stage is melancholy, at least in my experience. A deep sadness and hopelessness take hold in your gut after too many successive days of feeling like shit. It becomes hard to do most basic daily tasks.
- Acceptance After a while, you realize you have a few choices. The most extreme choice is suicide. I’ve never seriously considered it, but I know people who have and, sadly, gone through with it. Another choice is to start doing things to emerge from the depression. For me, that involves talking to people and writing to get the feelings off my chest. The other step is to re-embrace coping tools. It’s not like flipping a switch, but more like rebooting a computer. It takes time to start using your coping tools effectively again and more time for them to make a difference. But acceptance is a start.
Acceptance is where I’m at now. I long ago accepted that frequent bouts of depression come with being me and that there are things I can do to keep it in check. It’s time to reboot the system.
“Melancholy” by BaxiaArt
A New Season of SAD: Self-Doubt Shows Up
In what seemed like seconds after turning the calendar to November, a wave of depression hit me hard. It dogged me through the weekend and it’s with me now. With it comes feelings of self-doubt.
Mood music:
http://youtu.be/N88YgEKGMzI
Those who know me see me as a confident man, and most of the time I am. I’ve been through enough to know that with the right attitude and will, things ultimately work out.
I’m usually confident about my workmanship and ability to see through the clutter of life. But in this wave of depression, that part of me has gone missing. I find myself doubting my abilities.
In this state, the things I do wrong seem bigger and more pronounced than the things I do right. It can be paralyzing, but I can only allow it to be that way for a short time.
At work and at home, I have a lot of responsibility. I can’t neglect those responsibilities, no matter how hopeless I feel.
So I do what I’ve always done. I show up and take my best swing.
In the big picture, beyond the depression, I know I do more good than not. The depression is usually temporary, and I know that before long, the positives will look bigger than the negatives.
In real life, the positives ARE bigger than the negatives. But for now, I feel like shit.
I need to get back to using my coping tools — playing guitar every day, setting aside time daily for prayer, and seeing a therapist. Yesterday I found a new therapist, so I’m almost back on track there.
The Christmas season is usually when I feel like this. My goal this time is to make that the season where I emerge from the storm, stronger than ever.
“After the Storm” by William Bradford
Hackers for Charity: Essential Reading
One of the best examples of what makes the information security community special is Hackers for Charity, an engine for good started by hacker Johnny Long several years ago.
Mood music:
Long set up shop in Jinja, a town just east of the Ugandan capital of Kampala. Hackers for Charity brings to bear the skills of hackers worldwide to provide free technical support to cash-strapped local charities and organizations.
Volunteers work to improve Internet connectivity and put technology into the hands of those who would otherwise be left out. The organization also provides those it serves with a wealth of technical training.
One way it raises funds is by selling T-shirts, bracelets, stickers and hand-crafted leather accessories online and at security conferences around the world. The leather crafts are made in Uganda and include iPhone cases, iPad cases, journals, tumblers, coffee mugs, shot glasses and more.
The organization is well known in the security community, and most of what has been written about it has come from Long. But recently, Khalil Sehnaoui, managing partner and founder of Krypton Security, journeyed to Uganda and spent time with Long and his neighbors.
Sehnaoui kept an online diary that delves deep into the soul of Hackers for Charity. It’s a must read for anyone who cares about helping others, as is this post Long wrote about the visit.
The Beauty in the Wreck
Kelly Lum (a.k.a., @aloria) has been an acquaintance for nearly four years, though I wouldn’t say we’re close friends. We’re both part of the information security community and bump into each other at the occasional conference. When we do talk, we find one thing in common.
A life-long struggle with depression.
Mood music:
I’ve been open about it in this blog. She’s been open about it in her social media postings.
Last week, she published an article in which she gives the fullest account yet of her struggles. Specifically, she writes about how finding beauty in abandoned, decayed places helped her find an appreciation and even a love for her inner demons.
As one of our common connections said online, if this were the first chapter of a book, I wouldn’t put it down.
I long ago learned to find the best parts of myself from within the mental disorder. By accepting OCD and depression as part of what makes me tick instead of a contagion that needed to be destroyed, I found my way forward in the world. I’ve found beauty and grace in the struggle. It’s a blessing to reach that realization. I’m glad Kelly has reached that place, too.
It doesn’t end the pain, but it brings purpose to it.
Thanks for sharing, Kelly, and Godspeed.
