Addiction

Will E-Cigs Get Me Over Smoking?

June 14, 2012 Addiction

Update: July 26, 2012: I’ve been leaning on my crutch like a motherfucker during a trip to Las Vegas. But I haven’t touched the real thing or drank, which is progress. I’ve been using electronic cigarettes lately. Why, you ask? Let me try to explain. When I’m in the mood to feel sorry for myself [...]

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Zombies Are Addicts, Too

June 8, 2012 Addiction

Zombies have become the new American superhero, revered in countless Facebook memes and magazine articles. Now we have real people eating other real people. Mood music:  Zombie StompOzzy OsbourneNo More Tears I normally wouldn’t touch a topic like this, because zombies are a work of fiction. But lately people have been trying hard to will [...]

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Fatherhood Saved Ozzy, Eddie & Me

May 4, 2012 Addiction

Yesterday I watched the “God Bless Ozzy Osbourne” documentary, which focused heavily on how his addictions maimed him and his family over four decades. Though my addictive behavior pales by comparison, it still struck a chord. Mood music:  DreamerOzzy OsbourneThe Essential Ozzy Osbourne What hit me deepest is how Ozzy finally decided to get real [...]

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A Few Degrees South Of A Relapse

April 30, 2012 Addiction

My recovery program for compulsive binge eating hasn’t been right lately. This is where I come clean about something many go through after extended periods of abstinance and sobriety. Mood music: I haven’t been to many OA meetings lately. I haven’t called my sponsor in awhile. I was getting to a point a couple weeks ago where I [...]

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Addiction — And Security Journalism — Showed Me That Anonymity Matters

April 27, 2012 Addiction

Journalists like me have never been particularly comfortable using anonymous sources. When you don’t name names, someone inevitably questions if your source is real or imagined. But after dealing with some addictions in recent years, I feel differently about it. Mood music: There are some important distinctions to be made from the outset: I’ve written [...]

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The Monkey Will ALWAYS Be On Your Back

April 25, 2012 Addiction

I’m standing at a bar in Boston with my wife and stepmom. They order wine and I order coffee. My stepmom beams and says something about how awesome it is that I beat my demons. I appreciate the pride and the sentiment. But it’s also dangerous when someone tells a recovering addict that they’ve pulled [...]

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Strong Too Long, Or Weak Too Often?

April 23, 2012 Addiction

There’s a saying on Facebook that depression isn’t a sign of weakness, but simply the result of being strong for too long. Somewhat true — though weakness does feed the beast. Mood music: I’m feeling it this morning. I’ve always taken a certain level of satisfaction from my ability to stay standing in the face [...]

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When The Going Gets Tough, I Disconnect

April 17, 2012 Addiction

I’m leaving my weekly therapy sessions with a headache these days, because I’m working through another deeply embedded flaw in my soul. Mood music: It’s not nearly as bad as the therapy I had in 2004-2006, when I had to endlessly churn the sewage of my childhood memories in search of clues on what was [...]

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Depression Takes Another Life: Ronnie Montrose

April 11, 2012 Addiction

Depression has claimed another victim. Published reports confirm that legendary guitarist Ronnie Montrose’s March 3 death was a suicide. Many of you are unfamiliar with him, but his playing left a lasting mark on a lot of mega-star musicians, including Eddie Van Halen, who recorded four studio albums with original Montrose singer Sammy Hagar. Mood [...]

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Working-Class Hero Syndrome

April 9, 2012 Addiction

I’m a sufferer of working-class hero syndrome, a condition that makes me look down on everyone who doesn’t work as hard as me, all while wasting hours on work that proves fruitless. Mood music: My favorite cinematic version of a working-class hero is Quint from the movie JAWS, who relentlessly needles boat mate Hooper for [...]

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