Sobriety and abstinence

Don’t Go Away Mad

March 28, 2013 Gratitude

A funny thing happens when people share stories of the not-so-happy moments of their lives: You walk away thinking they’ve experienced nothing but tragedy. In reality, there are plenty of uneventful pages in between the drama. Mood music:  Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)Mötley CrüeDr. Feelgood 20th Anniversary [Expanded Version] One time I led [...]

Read the full article →

Screw You, Las Vegas — And Thanks To Good Friends

July 30, 2012 Addiction

The author travels to Las Vegas on business, his addictive personality is put to the test and some good friends carry him through it mostly unscathed. Mood music:  Given To Fly – Mexico City 12/10/05Pearl JamPearl Jam Live As locations go, Las Vegas is the absolute worst for a guy like me. I have a [...]

Read the full article →

Sometimes, Sobriety Sucks

June 1, 2012 Sobriety and abstinence

Some days I wish I could have a glass of wine or six. This leaves me with two choices: Fall off the wagon with zeal or stay sober and resent the world with zeal. It’s funny, because binge eating was the addictive behavior that got me into the most trouble and I don’t get this [...]

Read the full article →

Fatherhood Saved Ozzy, Eddie & Me

May 4, 2012 Addiction

Yesterday I watched the “God Bless Ozzy Osbourne” documentary, which focused heavily on how his addictions maimed him and his family over four decades. Though my addictive behavior pales by comparison, it still struck a chord. Mood music:  DreamerOzzy OsbourneThe Essential Ozzy Osbourne What hit me deepest is how Ozzy finally decided to get real [...]

Read the full article →

A Few Degrees South Of A Relapse

April 30, 2012 Addiction

My recovery program for compulsive binge eating hasn’t been right lately. This is where I come clean about something many go through after extended periods of abstinance and sobriety. Mood music: I haven’t been to many OA meetings lately. I haven’t called my sponsor in awhile. I was getting to a point a couple weeks ago where I [...]

Read the full article →

Addiction — And Security Journalism — Showed Me That Anonymity Matters

April 27, 2012 Addiction

Journalists like me have never been particularly comfortable using anonymous sources. When you don’t name names, someone inevitably questions if your source is real or imagined. But after dealing with some addictions in recent years, I feel differently about it. Mood music: There are some important distinctions to be made from the outset: I’ve written [...]

Read the full article →

The Monkey Will ALWAYS Be On Your Back

April 25, 2012 Addiction

I’m standing at a bar in Boston with my wife and stepmom. They order wine and I order coffee. My stepmom beams and says something about how awesome it is that I beat my demons. I appreciate the pride and the sentiment. But it’s also dangerous when someone tells a recovering addict that they’ve pulled [...]

Read the full article →

Strong Too Long, Or Weak Too Often?

April 23, 2012 Addiction

There’s a saying on Facebook that depression isn’t a sign of weakness, but simply the result of being strong for too long. Somewhat true — though weakness does feed the beast. Mood music: I’m feeling it this morning. I’ve always taken a certain level of satisfaction from my ability to stay standing in the face [...]

Read the full article →

When The Going Gets Tough, I Disconnect

April 17, 2012 Addiction

I’m leaving my weekly therapy sessions with a headache these days, because I’m working through another deeply embedded flaw in my soul. Mood music: It’s not nearly as bad as the therapy I had in 2004-2006, when I had to endlessly churn the sewage of my childhood memories in search of clues on what was [...]

Read the full article →

Chain Smoking In Bickford’s Was The Best

February 17, 2012 Addiction

Though I no longer smoke or eat the kind of food they served, I’m feeling nostalgic about the days of old when you could sit in any of the dim, dank coffee shops in the local Bickford’s chain for hours, hanging out, chain smoking and drinking those awful, bottomless cups of black coffee. I blame [...]

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries