Sobriety and abstinence

Wherein I Run Afoul Of The U.S. Secret Service

January 24, 2014 Communication skills for the crazy

My resolve against the inner demons is tested regularly. Some are little tests, like being put in a room with all the food and alcohol I once binged on daily to see if I can resist the temptation. Some are bigger tests, like getting lost en route to Washington D.C a few years ago with my wife […]

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Find Yourself a Real Doctor

November 26, 2013 Addiction

Written in June, 2010. Here’s the thing: Asking me for medical advice is like asking Charles Manson how to be a pacifist. Mood music:  Somebody Get Me A DoctorVan HalenVan Halen II In the months since I started this blog, I’ve noticed something expected but weird nonetheless: People are coming to me for medical advice. […]

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Don’t Go Away Mad

March 28, 2013 Gratitude

A funny thing happens when people share stories of the not-so-happy moments of their lives: You walk away thinking they’ve experienced nothing but tragedy. In reality, there are plenty of uneventful pages in between the drama. Mood music:  Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)Mötley CrüeDr. Feelgood 20th Anniversary [Expanded Version] One time I led […]

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Sometimes, Sobriety Sucks

June 1, 2012 Sobriety and abstinence

Some days I wish I could have a glass of wine or six. This leaves me with two choices: Fall off the wagon with zeal or stay sober and resent the world with zeal. It’s funny, because binge eating was the addictive behavior that got me into the most trouble and I don’t get this […]

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Fatherhood Saved Ozzy, Eddie & Me

May 4, 2012 Addiction

Yesterday I watched the “God Bless Ozzy Osbourne” documentary, which focused heavily on how his addictions maimed him and his family over four decades. Though my addictive behavior pales by comparison, it still struck a chord. Mood music:  DreamerOzzy OsbourneThe Essential Ozzy Osbourne What hit me deepest is how Ozzy finally decided to get real […]

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A Few Degrees South Of A Relapse

April 30, 2012 Addiction

My recovery program for compulsive binge eating hasn’t been right lately. This is where I come clean about something many go through after extended periods of abstinance and sobriety. Mood music: I haven’t been to many OA meetings lately. I haven’t called my sponsor in awhile. I was getting to a point a couple weeks ago where I […]

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Addiction — And Security Journalism — Showed Me That Anonymity Matters

April 27, 2012 Addiction

Journalists like me have never been particularly comfortable using anonymous sources. When you don’t name names, someone inevitably questions if your source is real or imagined. But after dealing with some addictions in recent years, I feel differently about it. Mood music: There are some important distinctions to be made from the outset: I’ve written […]

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The Monkey Will ALWAYS Be On Your Back

April 25, 2012 Addiction

I’m standing at a bar in Boston with my wife and stepmom. They order wine and I order coffee. My stepmom beams and says something about how awesome it is that I beat my demons. I appreciate the pride and the sentiment. But it’s also dangerous when someone tells a recovering addict that they’ve pulled […]

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Strong Too Long, Or Weak Too Often?

April 23, 2012 Addiction

There’s a saying on Facebook that depression isn’t a sign of weakness, but simply the result of being strong for too long. Somewhat true — though weakness does feed the beast. Mood music: I’m feeling it this morning. I’ve always taken a certain level of satisfaction from my ability to stay standing in the face […]

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When The Going Gets Tough, I Disconnect

April 17, 2012 Addiction

I’m leaving my weekly therapy sessions with a headache these days, because I’m working through another deeply embedded flaw in my soul. Mood music: It’s not nearly as bad as the therapy I had in 2004-2006, when I had to endlessly churn the sewage of my childhood memories in search of clues on what was […]

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