My Kill Switch

For someone accustomed to rising at 4 a.m. on a typical day, getting up at 7 a.m. is a lot like sleeping in. Lately, though, I’ve outdone myself in spades. Some days, I can’t seem to get out of bed before 9 or 10.  I’ve been napping a lot, too. Not just cat naps, but three-hour stretches of being out cold.

Mood music:

This is what I call my kill switch. During tough times, my body and brain simply check out.

Lately, it’s because of the chaos that comes from losing an aunt and a father eight days apart.

In the past, the kill switch activated during periods of high tension and drama. One time a hurricane was headed for Massachusetts and, living on Revere Beach, I was terrified of storm surge. During the wait, I curled up on the floor and proceeded to sleep through most of the storm.

Another time I got into a bad fight with a family member that sent me over the edge. I fell onto the couch and slept an afternoon away.

I think it’s a survival tool, albeit an inconvenient one that can kick in at inconvenient times. I also don’t like to sleep through life. But it’s all but impossible for me to control.

When I stop sleeping late and taking so many naps, it’ll be a sign that I’m through this latest rough patch in my life.

Man Lying Down

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