Despite all the progress I’ve made in managing OCD, there are still times where I forget to use my skills — momentarily, at least.
This morning is a good example.
I woke up depressed. Two hours later I was angry. Maybe I was getting tired of the winter outside my window. Maybe I was just plain tired. I was snapping at Erin and the children. I realized I was letting the crazy side loose and went upstairs to the bedroom because I didn’t want to lash out at my family for things that weren’t really their fault. Even if it were, lashing out is not my preferred way to deal with it.
The kids came into the room one at a time to see if they could do anything to make me feel better. Then Erin came in and we talked through it.
I feel no need to explain what exactly triggered my inner demon this morning, though through talking it over with Erin I figured it out. The important thing to point out here is that I can now see how I am managing things better than before.
1. I retreated to the bedroom instead of blowing up at those I love.
2. Instead of keeping it inside, I talked to Erin about what I was really feeling. She deserves much of the credit for bringing me to a place where I can purge the darker emotions.
3. I told everyone involved that I was sorry.
Now I feel better, and I can move on and have a better rest of the day.