Dirt Bag

by Bill Brenner on May 28, 2010

The author admits he’s not a very good person when he lets the demons out.

Mood music for this post: “A Rat Like Me” by Motley Crue:


A liar. A hater. Thinking you’re better than other people. These actions describe me pretty well. Not so much today, Thank God. But when the addictions are out of control and the OCD is on full burn, this is who I become. That’s why I have to cling to my recovery for dear life.

This is a collection of entries that dive deep into the darker world I used to inhabit; a world I could inhabit again if I’m not careful.

The Liar’s Disease

The author endeavors to tell the truth about an uncomfortable fact: People with addictive behavior really suck at honesty.

The Ego OCD Built

The author admits to having an ego that sometimes swells beyond acceptable levels and that OCD is fuel for the fire.

The Rat in the Church Pew

The author has written much about his Faith as a key to overcoming mental illness. But as this post illustrates, he still has a long way to go in his spiritual development.

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely

The author goes to Church and comes away with a strange feeling.

Bad Behavior, Easily Defined

The author turns to his musical hero for some easy-to-remember descriptions of depression and addictive behavior.

Meet My Demon

Why the author treats his demon like an imaginary friend, and how it helps.

A Little Bitter

The author on three of the 12 Steps he keeps tripping over.

The Long Road Through Self Hatred

The author has learned that it’s damn hard to like yourself at the beginning of sobriety and abstinence. The feeling will pass. Eventually.

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