Hit Me Again, I Can Take It

Despite the sometimes divisive topics I write about daily, most of the comments people leave under my posts are positive. But don’t you worry — I take my share of  barbed rebukes as well. Since it can be terribly difficult for some to take criticism, I thought I should share what I’ve learned.

Mood music:

[spotify:track:2ZIyAatdOPqpQNsjVNAAoj]

To show I’m an equal opportunity kinda guy, let me start by sharing the not-so-nice reactions readers have had to my work of late. This one came from a guy who didn’t like my tone in the CSOonline Salted Hash security blog when I told people to stop passing around a hoax Facebook message about privacy rights (or the lack thereof for those who insist on posting everything about themselves):

Wow. Have you ever considered writing in a slightly less condescending, obnoxious manner? It might improve the rate at which your message is successfully received by others … that is, of course, premised on the notion that your words function as a means for communication and not as a tool for artificially boosting your self-esteem.

My response was this:

Sorry you feel that way. It’s not about trying to be condescending. It’s about forcefully arguing a point. You are, of course, welcome to stop reading. No hard feelings.

It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if he were one of the people who fell for the Facebook hoax. If he’s embarrassed and lashing me makes him feel better, I’m fine with that.

Yesterday’s post on dealing with dysfunctional family got me a flaming response from a relative who told me I should stop being mean. It was the kind of message that had various words in all caps and lots of exclamation points. In an act of mercy (I didn’t want people to see this person making herself look bad), I deleted the comment, which is rare for me.

Angry comments from family tend to be toughest to digest, but given the semi-autobiographical nature of this blog, I’d be a fool to expect all sunshine and roses.

Happily, most family members who read my posts get where I’m coming from. And I’ve said it before: My memories are my memories. They may not represent the whole unvarnished truth, and there’s always another side to the story. But I tell you things as truthfully as I can, based on how I remember events. It’s but one perspective.

I could stop writing or limit what I do write to the type of stuff that never offends and never tries to get at the truth. But that’s not my style.

If you don’t want to offend or be offended, writing is the wrong profession for you. There are times when you have to take clear, forceful views and  prepare to be violently disagreed with. There are also times when every unpleasant detail must be added to give readers the clearest picture of the points you need to make. I’ve written about some unpleasant childhood memories, but I’ve ended almost all such posts on a positive note, because I know how lucky I am to have the life I’m living.

If you want to disagree with me, go ahead. If you want me to change my approach or my opinions, you may as well stop reading now.

You Can't Handle the Truth

Welcome to the New OCD DIARIES!

After many hours spent re-categorizing 900-plus posts, buying a new domain and building a new blog from scratch on WordPress.org — plus a few spousal disagreements along the way —  I give you the new OCD DIARIES.

Mood music:

[spotify:track:7zKPPqSGLAfc8nfuCmg4PF]

What’s new besides the new banner, design and background color, you ask? Quite a bit:

  • A broader theme that captures our ongoing struggles between darkness and light. I started this adventure a couple years ago to focus squarely on my own battles with OCD, depression and addictive behavior, but with time it’s become more about the demons we all live with and how we deal with them. Expect more commentary from me on politics. I’ll never tell you who to vote for or who I’m voting for, however. I’m more interested in how candidates behave and how we the masses react to and participate in the political discourse. Politics is a case study in how we talk to each other and what is says about us as human beings.
  • Recipes for healthy eating, including the no-flour, no-sugar meals I live by. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to participate by sending in your own recipes. The only requirement is that it’s healthy stuff, because healthy eating is critical to better mental health as well as physical health.
  • More guest posts where others talk about their struggles, because this stuff isn’t all about me. If you have something to say about a struggle you’ve had with depression, addiction, relationships and life in general, this is a forum where you can share. You’ll feel better afterwards, and you’ll help others in the process by showing that we are indeed all in this together. Share your coping tools and, if you’re a mental health professional, share your knowledge.
  • Mood music straight from my Spotify library. Rock ‘n’ roll is one of my main coping tools, and instead of using YouTube to deliver the music, I’m going to draw straight from my Spotify library. Spotify rocks and can be downloaded for free. Almost every album from every artist known to man can be found there. I want to introduce more people to Spotify and share my music without the YouTube copyright police breathing down my neck. You’ll need to have Spotify running to play the mood music now, but it’s well worth it. If it doesn’t work out for most readers, I’ll revert back to YouTube. For now, this is a worthy experiment.
  • A category list to the right of this space to help you find posts more precisely related to the subject you’re interested in. By clicking the music therapy category, for instance, you’ll get all previous and future posts dealing with music as therapy. By clicking the children’s issues category, you’ll get to posts all about children and the mental health issues they deal with. We’re also going to include more book reviews, and there’s a category page for that, too.
  • Advertising. This new platform will allow us to include advertisements from entities who deal in the subject matter I write about — mental health organizations and professionals, for example. If you want your ad on here, let us know.
  • A husband-wife team. Perhaps most important about the new OCD DIARIES is that it’s now a team effort. The fabulous Erin C. Brenner has played a critical role in developing this new site, and she’ll edit everything you see on here from now on. She’ll also be in charge of the marketing effort.

Welcome to OUR world.