From the Mouths of Pre-Teens

by Bill Brenner on March 13, 2014

Both kids have reached double digits since I last did a post like this, which means they’ve gone from cute to witty. Like their old man, that wit is delivered with a sharp tongue. Here’s what they’ve been saying and doing in recent weeks.

Like a lot of kids their age, Sean and Duncan are very much into Minecraft and Wii LEGO games. They take the activities very seriously and will frequently yell at the laptop or TV if things aren’t going their way. Sometimes I try to brighten their spirits, reminding them it’s only a game that should be fun. Other times I’ll needle them. Either way, they work hard to come back with real crushers.

Sean: “Dad, nobody likes you. I can’t for the life of me figure out what Mom sees in you.”

Duncan: “Get a life, Dad. I hear they’re good.”

Ask the kids who’s in charge of the castle, and they won’t hesitate to tell you it ain’t me.

Sean, describing his mom’s vocal level when one of us is in trouble: “When she yells ‘Move!’ all the dead people jump out of their graves and run.”

Sean: “Dad is very careful to make sure Mom gets downtime. He knows that when she doesn’t get downtime, everything burns.”

Noticing that Sean didn’t put his bowl in the dishwasher, I made him come downstairs.

Me: “Look in the sink and tell me what’s wrong with this picture.”

Sean: “You’re in it.”

We’re sitting in the orthodontist’s waiting room when a mom brings her 7 year old son in for his first appointment. The boy says he’s a little scared and “hopes the laser doesn’t hurt.”

Hearing this, Sean tells him, “Don’t worry. It doesn’t hurt till after they’re done with the laser.”

Sean’s self-portrait:

Sean's Self-Portrait

Duncan recently made his own fortune cookies. This included writing the fortunes:

Duncan's Fortunes

The boys love to get a rise out of each other. Sean likes to use art as a weapon:

Dunkin' Duncan

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