Bill Brenner

Sympathy for the Unsympathetic

by Bill Brenner March 8, 2011 Addiction

I tend to get a lot of mail from people who read this blog, particularly the stuff about the rougher parts of my life. God Bless ’em, because they’re good people who want to buck me up. But I think they misunderstand where I’m coming from sometimes. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvJGQ_piwI0&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] There are days when my posts cross over to darker territory, especially when a wave of depression or OCD moment hits. I also do…  [Read More]

New Website for “Machine Man”

by Bill Brenner March 7, 2011 OCD

The producers of “Machine Man,” a film about a man battling OCD, have relaunched their website, which includes an excellent forum where people can share art, writing and music that reflects their personal experiences. Tonight I had the honor of speaking to Kellie Madison, the writer, director and producer of the film. She had sent me a message with her phone number, asking me to call. She urged me to sign up for the forum,…  [Read More]

Tension Mounts, On With The Body Count

by Bill Brenner March 7, 2011 Addiction

My editing background noise this afternoon is the first album from Body Count, the metal band with Ice-T on vocals. Some of it is uncomfortable to listen to. But, truth be told, I absolutely adored this album back in 1992. Mood music: Listening to it now, I shake my head at the liberal use of the N-word. I hate that word. But because an African American was singing it, the 22-year-old me thought it was…  [Read More]

12 Steps: The Ultimate Swiss Army Knife

by Bill Brenner March 7, 2011 Addiction

Last night’s AA Big Book study group meeting really drove home that this program is like a Swiss Army Knife that’ll cut through any number of things that hold us back. As you know by now, I use the 12-Step program to maintain my sobriety and abstinence in the face of a devastating binge-eating disorder. But it’s done so much more than help me manage addictive behavior. It has brought me closer to God and…  [Read More]

The Agony of Awards

by Bill Brenner March 5, 2011 Adventures in writing

This will seem strange to some of you, maybe even ungrateful and insulting — but lately I’m looking at some of my old writing awards with disdain. I should be proud of those awards. I earned them. But every time I look at them, it’s another reminder of just how fucked up I used to be. We need reminders so we don’t repeat the same mistakes, but some memories are best left in the trash…  [Read More]

When The Grass is Greener on Your Side

by Bill Brenner March 4, 2011 Addiction

I had an eventful trip to the therapist this morning. I had a migraine and was trying hard not to puke all over his nice blue carpet. There was couple’s counseling going on in the office next door, and the walls seemed awfully thin. You could hear pretty much everything, including the wife going into a rage at her husband. Their therapist seemed to be making a valiant effort to hold it all together. My…  [Read More]

Crohn’s Disease and Metallica

by Bill Brenner March 4, 2011 Coping tools

Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” album. Which reminds me: It’s nearly the 25th anniversary of my last major attack of Crohn’s Disease. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQbPqINoSlc&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] It might seem bat-shit crazy of me to intertwine these two things, but the fact is that the “Master of Puppets” album is probably what helped me get through that attack. That, and the book “Helter Skelter.” I read that book twice as I…  [Read More]

To Those Who Lost Their Newspaper Jobs

by Bill Brenner March 3, 2011 Coping tools

Sad to hear that some old friends lost their jobs at the local daily newspapers they labored at for years. People I know at The Eagle-Tribune, Salem News, Newburyport Daily News and Gloucester Daily Times were hit. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B–3cId-YE&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] A few years ago, I would have seen this as an evil company sticking it to good people who gave their best years and efforts to the machine. I don’t see it that way…  [Read More]

Vince Neil Makes Me Sick

by Bill Brenner March 2, 2011 Addiction

Updated Dec. 20, 2011: Vince Neil suggested in an interview that he might leave Motley Crue next year. Maybe they’ll let John Corabi back in. I always liked the album he did with them… I’m a big Motley Crue fan. Their music helped me process all the anger of my teens and in adulthood Nikki Sixx’s story of sobriety inspired me to take a long, hard look in the mirror. But as I watch a…  [Read More]

Let He Who Is Without Sin Stone Charlie Sheen

by Bill Brenner March 1, 2011 Addiction

As a society, we love to tear other people down. When someone else fails, it somehow makes us feel better about the mess our own lives have become. I know, because I do it all the time. But in the case of Charlie Sheen and his public meltdown, I just can’t do it. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqd2FJF8-h8&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Sheen’s interview with ABC News’ Andrea Canning is painful to watch. His eyes are sunken into the back…  [Read More]

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