Bill Brenner

Be a Hard-Ass, Lose Every Time

by Bill Brenner November 18, 2010 Communication Skills

I used to think I had to be a tough-talking, pushy bastard to get ahead in life. Instead, that behavior nearly destroyed me. I’ve learned a lot since then. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Mn-3EqaO0E&fs=1&hl=en_US] When I worked at The Eagle-Tribune, some of the editors carried on with the mindset that reporters always needed an ass kicking. If a sentence wasn’t written perfectly, the story got rewritten and the writer got a knuckle sandwich by way of e-mail….  [Read More]

How Parenthood Saved Me

by Bill Brenner November 18, 2010 Children's issues

When I first became a parent, I’m pretty sure I sucked at it. I had no patience for the things babies do because, back then, it was all about me. That’s how it is when you have OCD and out-of-control addictions. You’re too self absorbed to see the blessings around you. But my wife and kids helped me break the cycle. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcfTpHa0nOw&fs=1&hl=en_US] That’s the thing about children. When God puts them in your…  [Read More]

Black Rain

by Bill Brenner November 17, 2010 Coping tools

Rain is pelting my living room window as I write this. As a child, the sound was comforting. Today, it’s the opposite. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=663L-GWQdws&fs=1&hl=en_US] As a kid, I found comfort in a cloudy sky and rain. I suppose it made me appreciate the inside of my house and gave me a cozy feeling. The overcast sky was like a blanket. I wanted to hide from a lot of things back then: the Crohn’s Disease…  [Read More]

A Love Affair With Fire

by Bill Brenner November 16, 2010 Mental health

A couple days ago when I wrote about that OCD screening test I found, something from childhood came back to me. I’ve never forgotten about my fascination with matches and fire. But one of the questions made me realize that the childhood fascination may have been one of my earliest OCD habits. Mood music: [spotify:track:0ydzdWYWIFlGBurhjEXwit] The question was if I ever had an “overconcern with keeping objects (clothing, groceries, tools) in perfect order or arranged…  [Read More]

14 Years to Put Suicide in Perspective

by Bill Brenner November 15, 2010 Grief management

I’ve written a lot about my old friend Sean Marley in this blog. Some of you may be sick of it, but I really have no choice. His death is too intertwined with my own struggles to avoid it. Today is the 14th anniversary of his death, and I’ve learned a lot of painful lessons since then. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwPaMQ-3mFo&fs=1&hl=en_US] In the weeks leading up to his suicide, I knew he was badly depressed. I…  [Read More]

OCD Screening Quiz

by Bill Brenner November 14, 2010 OCD

The Psych Central website has a very thorough, pretty cool test you can take to see if you have OCD. Is it wrong that I had fun taking this screening? Perhaps. Let’s see how I did… Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tBaMlAUj08&fs=1&hl=en_US] 1. concerns with contamination (dirt, germs, chemicals, radiation) or acquiring a serious illness such as AIDS? I used to worry myself into a frenzy over colon cancer. Given my history with Crohn’s Disease, I’m at a much…  [Read More]

Songs to Help You Pick Up the Pieces

by Bill Brenner November 13, 2010 Uncategorized

This week’s soundtrack is about rising from the ashes of adversity. I’ve had more than my share of tough times, and these songs always gave me the extra shot of strength I needed to move forward… I’m a huge fan of NIN and Henry Rollins, and someone out there was brilliant enough to fuse both into this: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPIT4nsT24&fs=1&hl=en_US] This song was perfect for the “fuck you” attitude I had in the early 1990s, when I…  [Read More]

Facebook Follow Friday: Nov. 12

by Bill Brenner November 12, 2010 Gratitude

Welcome to week three of this new tradition of mine: Giving the nod to some of my Facebook friends for giving my spirits a lift and teaching me new things. A reminder on what this is about: There’s a thing we do on Twitter called Follow Friday, where we list people we follow and suggest others do the same. I figured Facebook should have something similar, so here it is. Let’s face it: There’s a lot…  [Read More]

Tragedy Follows Service

by Bill Brenner November 11, 2010 Uncategorized

Perhaps because it’s a day to honor veterans, I find myself thinking back to an encounter I had on a street in Brooklyn a couple months ago. The guy had a hole in his head where his left eye used to be and he had burn scars up and down one arm. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zld2cSIVUO4&fs=1&hl=en_US] I was puffing on a cigar, so he approached me for a light. Then he told me he had been…  [Read More]

The Joyless Happy Meal

by Bill Brenner November 11, 2010 Addiction

I’ve been hearing a lot of stink over this toyless Happy Meal story. Maybe I can put the whole thing in perspective. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU16EBurb1Q&fs=1&hl=en_US] First, here’s the AP to tell you what happened to the beloved Happy Meal in San Francisco: Unhealthy kids’ meals to get less ‘happy’ in San Francisco San Francisco has become the first major American city to prohibit fast-food restaurants from including toys with children’s meals that do not meet…  [Read More]

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