Bill Brenner

Scenes from the Airport

by Bill Brenner April 8, 2010 For travelers

The author finds airport amusement where he once found hell. Here’s what happens. Mood music for this post: “Learn to Fly” by Foo Fighters: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VQ_3sBZEm0&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I sit here at 6:23 a.m. San Francisco time, sitting at the gate for a flight home in an hour. Considering what I just passed through, I got here pretty quickly and calmly. Let’s back up. When I got here, the TSA line was as long as I’ve ever seen….  [Read More]

Like Father, Like Son

by Bill Brenner April 7, 2010 Addiction

The author finds that OCD behavior runs strong among the men in his family. It’s been said that certain crosses run in the family. Addictive behavior. Depression. Yesterday my father had three long stents inserted into his leg. Apparently the entire leg was full of blockages. He eats compulsively, and this contributes to the problem. In 1998 he had quadruple bypass surgery, but the bad eating continued. He’s always been able to bolt down the…  [Read More]

The Short, Strange History of Skeptic Slang

by Bill Brenner April 6, 2010 Mental health

The author is tells the story of his 2 years as lead singer of a little-known band called Skeptic Slang. I avoided this for as long as I could. I don’t like to admit that I used to sing in a band. For one thing, my singing really sucked. For another, the band never went anywhere. But some pictures of me from around that time have been unearthed, and people are starting to talk. Here’s…  [Read More]

Red Bull Blues

by Bill Brenner April 5, 2010 Addiction

The author learns once again that when he puts one addiction down, he picks up another. I realized something awhile back. I guess I already knew, but this just made it crystal clear for me. I was at the airport, en route to Santa Clara, California. There was no Starbucks nearby. My other choices were Dunkin’ Donuts or coffee served at a breakfast place across the way. Certain that both choices would fall far short…  [Read More]

Easter Morning

by Bill Brenner April 4, 2010 Faith

No real message about overcoming OCD, depression and addiction. I’ll get back to that tomorrow. Today, just a quick Happy Easter to you all. All is well here. We experienced a brilliant Easter Vigil Mass last night. Not even my starting in on the wrong reading could have spoiled it. I helped out with this year’s RCIA group, so seeing them Baptized was particularly special for me. The kids got up at 5:30 a.m. all…  [Read More]

The OCD Diaries 4-2-10: Long-haired Freaks

by Bill Brenner April 2, 2010 Depression

Mood music for this post: “Hurt,” by Johnny Cash (cover of the Nine Inch Nails song): [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o22eIJDtKho&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Going through an old stack of books this afternoon, I found this photo: I’m on the left holding the bass. On the right is Sean Marley. I told you about him in the post “Marley and Me.” The photo is one of those stupid mock rock magazine covers, shot in the summer of 1989 at a carnival on…  [Read More]

SLOB

by Bill Brenner April 2, 2010 Mental disorders

Erin pointed something out to me earlier: Ever since I got a handle on my OCD, I’ve been a slob. Sure, I shower daily and clean my clothes, but when my mind was off the rails, I was a cleanliness freak. Everything had to be put away just so. Coming home to find a couch pillow on the floor would send me into a tizzy. Now I’m apparently leaving a lot of things lying around:…  [Read More]

Good Friday (From One Sinner to Another)

by Bill Brenner April 2, 2010 Faith

A Good Friday reflection from someone who has sinned with the baddest of ’em. Mood music for this post: “Good Friday,” by The Black Crowes: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZQuIeK59To&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Funny that I picked that song as this entry’s soundtrack. The lyrics actually cut against the grain of what Good Friday is all about. It’s about a broken relationship where forgiveness is not on the agenda. Actually, that’s exactly why I picked it. Because on this day I’m remembering…  [Read More]

Things Don’t Go As Planned

by Bill Brenner April 1, 2010 Mental disorders

A day that doesn’t meet expectations can take you to a pretty dark place when your head isn’t screwed on just right. Mood music for this post: “Psycho Therapy” by The Ramones: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34wASuHRuRo&hl=en_US&fs=1&] This day hasn’t gone as planned. That can be frustrating when your brain works the way it’s supposed to. When the traffic in your skull doesn’t flow properly — which is usually the case when you have OCD — a day that…  [Read More]

Pouring Gas on the Fire

by Bill Brenner March 31, 2010 Adventures in writing

People in recovery often go into hyper mode, making up for time wasted in the grip of addiction. Mix in some OCD and here’s what happens… Mood music for this post: “Gasoline” by Audioslave: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6_C4rV7x-Y&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I was talking to a dear friend this morning about the radio show I was pushing in my last post, SixxSense, and how the show’s host, Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx, has been a hurricane of activity since he became…  [Read More]

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