Bill Brenner

The Engine in Hyperdrive

by Bill Brenner February 7, 2010 Adventures in writing

It’s Sunday and I’m wrapping up my visit to the #ShmooCon security conference in Washington D.C. My compulsive tendencies are humming along at full throttle, which isn’t as bad as it seems. True, the goal is to minimize the OCD overdrive as much as possible. Especially when it comes to giving in to one’s addictions. But sometimes it’s good to have that extra drive. I’ve produced three articles and two podcasts from #ShmooCon, which is…  [Read More]

ShmooCon and Snowmageddon

by Bill Brenner February 6, 2010 Fear and anxiety

Well, it’s day 2 of the ShmooCon security conference in the nation’s capital, and so far, so good. The booze is flowing all around. Folks are outside drinking scotch from plastic cups and juice bottles. I’m sober. I’m keeping the food plan together. I’m writing and podcasting. I’m drinking some damn good coffee. It wasn’t easy at breakfast this morning. The oatmeal was vile. But I ate it anyway. Got a plan to stick to….  [Read More]

Boys on the Shmoobus

by Bill Brenner February 4, 2010 Fear and anxiety

Given that I used to have fear and anxiety over traveling and impending bad weather, it’s amazing that I’m writing this from aboard a cramped RV, zipping through the New York area en route to the ShmooCon security conference in Washington D.C. A blizzard with up to 20 inches of snow is scheduled to dump on DC while I’m there. Yet I’m calm — even enjoying myself. How I overcame that fear has been told…  [Read More]

Road Trip

by Bill Brenner February 4, 2010 For travelers

My writing in this blog is going to be scarce for the next few days as I head to Washington D.C. for a security conference. A great time to catch up on recent posts! Have a great weekend and be well. Talk to ya in a few days.

Helter Skelter

by Bill Brenner February 3, 2010 Addiction

The author admits that his OCD behavior includes an obsession with the Manson Case. Here’s why. Ever since I was a kid and I first saw the 1976 TV movie on the Manson Murders, I’ve been fascinated. I’ve read “Helter Skelter,” the book by Manson prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi, dozens of times. I own the 1976 and 2004 versions of the film on DVD, along with a documentary called “The Six Degrees of Helter Skelter,” where…  [Read More]

Rest Re-defined

by Bill Brenner February 2, 2010 Fear and anxiety

The author finds that he gets the most relaxation from the things he once feared the most. Mood music  A strange thing happened to me on the way to recovery: I started finding peace and relaxation in the very things that used to fill me with fear and spark anxiety attacks. [See Fear Factor] It used to be that relaxing meant holing myself up in the bedroom watching endless episodes of Star Trek. I watched…  [Read More]

The Basement

by Bill Brenner February 1, 2010 The stormy past

A photo from the old days in Revere spark some vivid flashbacks. The guy on the left is me. Dan Waters is in the middle. The guy dressed as a vampire on the right is Sean Marley. [Read about him in Lost Brothers and Marley and Me] It’s November 1991 and we’re in the basement of the old house I grew up in at 22 Lynnway, Revere, Mass. We partied a lot in that basement….  [Read More]

Selfish Bastard

by Bill Brenner January 30, 2010 Addiction

The author has found that service is an excellent tool for OCD management. Simply put, it forces him to stop being a selfish bastard. In OA, those of us in recovery from our compulsive eating disorders rely on a set of tools that go hand in hand with the 12 Steps. There’s the plan of eating, writing, sponsorship, the telephone and literature. There’s anonymity. And there’s service to others. The plan of eating is what’s…  [Read More]

Why So Serious? The Case for Self-Deprecation

by Bill Brenner January 29, 2010 Depression

The author on why self-deprecation is a handy tool for controlling demons. Mood music: [spotify:track:0g1HLSNG4KxjDXdeYMnLym] A few readers have told me I put myself down too much in these blog posts. Since I’m really not trying to put myself down — I do have a monster ego, after all — it’s time to say a bit about the power of self-deprecating humor. It’s true that I like to poke fun at myself. I do it…  [Read More]

How I’m Feeling

by Bill Brenner January 28, 2010 Addiction

As I mentioned in my posts Prozac Winter and The Mood Swing, I recently went up 20 milligrams on the Prozac because of the depression that tends to set in during the winter. [For more on the background, see The Bad Pill Kept Me From The Good Pill and An OCD Christmas] I’m three weeks into the higher dosage and it’s working — mostly. I woke up feeling blue this morning and still feel that…  [Read More]

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