Bill Brenner

Songs That Mattered After 9-11-01

by Bill Brenner September 7, 2013 Coping tools

Like so many other times in my life, music made the difference between sanity and insanity. I focus a lot on the metal. But in the weeks after 9-11, I turned to a broader group of musicians to help me along. They did their jobs well, helping us all see that it was OK to go on living. Let’s start with Neal Young, whose version of John Lennon’s “Imagine” was both haunting and inspiring: Nothing…  [Read More]

9-11-01 Jumpers: A Suicidal Mystery

by Bill Brenner September 7, 2013 Depression

I remember the photo well. It was a man falling to his death in a zen-like pose that haunted me for a long, long time. It haunted us all. Mood music: Yesterday, I came across an entire documentary based on that one photo. The program, like the photo, is called “The Falling Man.” Associated Press photographer Richard Drew snapped a series of pictures of a man falling from the North Tower of the World Trade Center at 9:41:15 a.m. during 9-11-01. He was one…  [Read More]

Four Symptoms and Attempted Remedies for Nixon-itis

by Bill Brenner September 6, 2013 Coping tools

When my OCD was at its worst, fear, anxiety and paranoia crippled me. People who didn’t share my ideas were enemies out to destroy me. It was never true, but a damaged mind concocts crazy shit. Mood music: I call this Nixon-itis. Richard M. Nixon trusted no one. He saw conspiracies everywhere. Opponents were enemies to destroy before they could destroy him. It’s the stuff the enemies lists and the Watergate cover-up were made of….  [Read More]

Being Catholic Made Me a Better Jew

by Bill Brenner September 5, 2013 Faith

People are always shocked to hear I used to be Jewish but became Catholic. They want to know how the hell that happened. Here’s my story — an important part of which is how my conversion actually gave me a better appreciation for my Jewish roots. Mood music: Truth be told, I didn’t appreciate being Jewish when I was a kid. Our family observed the Jewish holidays on a secular level that had little to…  [Read More]

Latest Obsession: Whitey Bulger

by Bill Brenner September 4, 2013 Compulsive behaviors

I’ve written previously about how my OCD gives me the tendency to latch onto certain subjects and research them obsessively. Examples include the history of the Manson and Amityville murder cases, to the point of getting a closer look at sites related to those cases. I’ve always considered this obsession harmless. It makes me read a lot of books on the subjects and visit places when the travel schedule permits, but what’s wrong with that?…  [Read More]

Think Before You Talk About Your ‘OCD’

by Bill Brenner September 3, 2013 Compulsive behaviors

People often ask me if I get offended by jokes and movies about OCD. The answer is usually no, because I think it’s healthy to see the humor in one’s afflictions, and the movies, when done right, educate the masses on what it’s like to suffer from this scourge. But one thing does piss me off. It’s when people say they “went OCD” after doing such routine tasks as cleaning their house, cooking or completing a…  [Read More]

The Beauty of a Broken Body

by Bill Brenner August 30, 2013 Physical Health

At the breakfast table yesterday, Sean said, “Dad has many good qualities. None have anything to do with his body.” I had good laugh over that and was amused enough to share it on Twitter and Facebook. Which brought this thoughtful response from a friend: “Little does he know what you’ve been through with your body. When he realizes, he’ll know that that’s your best quality!” Mood music: Sean knows, of course. He’s seen for…  [Read More]

Adventures in Change

by Bill Brenner August 29, 2013 Uncategorized

Yesterday we dropped our kids off at a new school for the first time. In June, I left a job I was at for five years and started a new one. We didn’t begin 2013 with these changes planned, but here we are. Mood music: Going to Akamai was a pretty easy move for me. I joined a team in which I’ve known the boss and several staffers for years. It was also a move…  [Read More]

On My Sixth Birthday, the Ramones Changed Everything

by Bill Brenner August 27, 2013 Music therapy

I’m tickled to discover that my birthday is a special day to The Ramones, too. Turns out, yesterday was also the 37th anniversary of the band’s debut album. They were always an important band for me, especially after I learned that Joey Ramone was a fellow OCD sufferer. Mood music: I owned multiple Ramones albums on vinyl, and wore them out from playing them so much. A favorite was Halfway to Sanity. Back then I…  [Read More]

Wherein I Get Another Year Older

by Bill Brenner August 26, 2013 Gratitude

On this, my 43rd birthday, I can’t help but remember what Indiana Jones said in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Grousing about a body beat to hell from a life of adventure, he noted that it’s not the age but the mileage. Mood music: I have to admit, my mileage shows. My beard is getting grayer. My knees aren’t as durable as they used to be. I’ve got sleep apnea and bad vision. But then all…  [Read More]

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