Bill Brenner

A Link Between Prednisone, Mental Illness

by Bill Brenner August 16, 2011 Addiction

Since I have Crohn’s Disease, I’ve been asked if it’s linked to OCD. Yesterday, someone took the question a step further and asked if I think Prednisone led to my mental illness. Mood music: Here was the question, as posed to me on Facebook: “Bill, do you think prednisone had anything to do with your OCD? You are the second person I know to have Crohn’s and depression, I have taken the drug in the past and…  [Read More]

Caught Smoking

by Bill Brenner August 15, 2011 Addiction

You’ve heard the sorry old tale of the addict who cleaned up from the addiction that made his life unmanageable, only to pick up three more vices. That’s me. Take the surprise Erin got when opening my work bag. Mood music: She was cleaning and found earphones that belonged to me. She unzipped a front compartment in my laptop bag to put them away and had the unpleasant shock of discovering where I’d been hiding…  [Read More]

Mr. Sunshine is on Sabbatical

by Bill Brenner August 14, 2011 Coping tools

It has come to my attention that I’ve been irritable lately. I’m not as outgoing as usual. I don’t have the usual energy. Those who have noted my descending mood trace it back to early June — after Dad suffered his two strokes. My initial reaction to that was irritation. Too fucking bad, I thought. So sorry I allowed Mr. Sunshine to take a sabbatical. How inconvenient for everyone. After a few minutes of that, I…  [Read More]

Black Sheep Can Find Love, Too

by Bill Brenner August 14, 2011 Family

Yesterday was a big family wedding and it was wonderful. My cousin Andrew married a great gal, and a lot of people who don’t usually get along managed to peacefully co-exist. Mood music: I gotta give my mother a lot of credit. Despite all the trouble between us, she gave me and Erin hugs and was very friendly. That couldn’t have been easy. My stepfather kept his distance, but given the tension in the air,…  [Read More]

Happy Birthday, Stacey

by Bill Brenner August 13, 2011 Family

Today is my step-sister’s birthday. Our childhood relationship resembled a war. But I’ve grown to respect the hell out of her. Hopefully, the feeling is mutual. A few fun notes about Stacey: –She has two awesome kids, Lilly and Chase. Lilly is a carbon copy of Stacey as a child in both looks and attitude. This amuses the hell out of me. Lilly is also a sweet, loving kid. Chase is a ladies man. One…  [Read More]

Rethinking Jani Lane Upon His Death

by Bill Brenner August 12, 2011 Addiction

Former Warrant singer Jani Lane was found dead last night in a Comfort Inn in L.A. at age 47. It’s unclear at this point what the cause is, but his death is making me re-think a few things about my attitude. Mood music: I remember when Warrant came out in the late 1980s. I couldn’t stand them. Sure, they sounded good. Crunchy guitar sound. Good vocals. But it all sounded so fake. I thought “Cherry Pie”…  [Read More]

An Expected Encounter With My Mother

by Bill Brenner August 11, 2011 Depression

I’m in my therapist’s office, going over the things he routinely asks about to make sure I’m playing with a full deck. He asks if I’ve talked to mom recently. No, I tell him. But, I expect to see her this weekend — the first time in two years. Mood music: He asks if I’m nervous about it. To my surprise as well as his, I tell him I’m not — and I actually mean…  [Read More]

Protecting Your Kids Isn’t Always Right

by Bill Brenner August 10, 2011 Children's issues

I’ve always been fiercely protective of my children. Part of it is that fear of loss. I’m like Marlin the clown fish in “Finding Nemo.” Like Marlin, I’m starting to realize I need to let the kids have some adventures. Mood music: Any good parent is going to be over-protective to a point, and that’s how it should be. God gave us these kids to nurture, and we have to make sure they make it to…  [Read More]

I Am Absolutely Powerless

by Bill Brenner August 9, 2011 Addiction

Second in a series… Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over (insert addiction) — that our lives had become unmanageable. Mood music: I am powerless. Or, you could say, my addictions have absolute power over me. Even when sober and abstinent, they are right behind me, doing push-ups, waiting for my one reckless moment of weakness. Now that I know this, life is a lot better. I can do what I must to be well and I’m…  [Read More]

One Year Later: Missing Joe “Zippo” Kelley

by Bill Brenner August 8, 2011 Faith

Hard to believe, but it’s been a year since the death of Joe “Zippo” Kelley. I listened to Zippo Raid’s “Punk Is In Season” disc on the way home from work and smiled the whole time. In the year since he died, Joe has had a big impact on my own life. Here’s the second track on that CD, one of my favorites: I’ve gotten to know his awesome parents, Joe and Marie, and a lot…  [Read More]

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