Family

How To Talk To A Liar Who’s Been Caught

by Bill Brenner October 12, 2011 Addiction

A reader who recently found the two posts I wrote on addicts as compulsive liars had a sad story to share. Her husband, a compulsive spender, gambler and drinker, lies to her all the time. He apparently sucks at it. She always finds out. Mood music: How, she asked me, does she deal with a person like this? She still loves him, and in many respects he’s still the great guy. But lies are a…  [Read More]

The Way Of The Broken Soul

by Bill Brenner October 11, 2011 Courage

I went to see “The Way” with Erin and saw a lot of myself in the characters. You’d see a lot of yourself, too. Mood music: The summary of the film is this (stolen from IMDb): Tom is an American doctor who goes to France following the death of his adult son, killed in the Pyrenees during a storm while walking The Camino de Santiago, also known as The Way of St. James. Tom’s purpose is…  [Read More]

People Who Die And The Mid-Lifers They Leave Behind

by Bill Brenner October 4, 2011 Coping tools

As we walked into the funeral home for the wake of our old friend Al Marley, Mary Anastasio stopped, looked at me and said, “We’re adults now.” That’s how it is when you hit middle age. Your parents’ generation starts dying at an accelerated pace. Then comes the crisis that isn’t really a crisis if you stop and think about it. Mood music: http://youtu.be/9mcloY9BlOU A lot of my contemporaries are starting to go through the mid-life…  [Read More]

Four Brenner Men = Trouble

by Bill Brenner October 2, 2011 Children's issues

Saturday afternoon illustrated how significantly my family dynamic has changed — and how much some things remain the same. I took Dad on errands, pushing him around in his wheelchair; Sean and Duncan in tow. The four of us Brenner guys together for an afternoon is a lot like Godzilla running around Tokyo. The difference is that our chaos is usually unintended. Godzilla repeatedly destroyed Tokyo on purpose. It’s harder taking Dad around in his…  [Read More]

Duncan And I Need A Trail Of Post-It Notes To Get Through The Day

by Bill Brenner September 30, 2011 Children's issues

Things are rough in the Brenner household lately. Duncan’s ADHD is running hot, and so is my OCD. The resulting FUBARs are probably entertaining to the outsider, but it’s quite possible that Erin and Sean are ready to kill us. The back-to-school grind is great in that the kids needed to get back to their routine. But by the time Duncan gets home he’s fried. Not good when there’s homework to do. He can’t focus,…  [Read More]

Entourage Disease

by Bill Brenner September 27, 2011 Communication Skills

Entourage Disease: A disease where the sufferer surrounds him or herself with people as a shield against painful encounters. Mood music: The sufferer will show up in a hospital room, at a family party or a funeral surrounded by up to six people. Usually the number is about three. If it’s a hospital visit and the room is really small, the sufferer will be brave and only come in with one hanger on. There are…  [Read More]

Paranoia Was My Destroyer

by Bill Brenner September 21, 2011 Addiction

There’s a particularly insidious side of my OCD that I have to fight hard to contain, because it’s the thing most likely to destroy me. This is a story about paranoia. Mood music: Let’s start with a definition from Wikipedia: Paranoia is a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs, or beliefs of conspiracy concerning a perceived threat towards oneself. Anxiety and fear once played a major…  [Read More]

They Say You Shouldn’t Go To Bed Angry

by Bill Brenner September 17, 2011 Family

When Erin and I were still engaged, we did the two-day marriage course that the Catholic Church makes you take before you can get married (Pre-Cana). We got this priceless advice early on: “Never go to bed angry with each other.” We’ve worked hard in 13 years of marriage to follow that advice. When we argue, as any married couple does, we always try to work out our differences and make up before going to…  [Read More]

For Brian On His Wedding Day

by Bill Brenner September 17, 2011 Family

My stepbrother is getting hitched today. Here’s a little song in honor of his special day:

A Relapse Isn’t The End Of The World

by Bill Brenner September 16, 2011 Addiction

When a person relapses back into addictive behavior, it seems like the end of the world. Everything they’ve worked for is in ashes, and they embrace their old demon with reckless abandon. It shouldn’t have to be that way. Mood music: [spotify:track:1JKiRbc7uA6B9QrO3I1zZH] I’m thinking hard about this because I came close to a relapse recently, and a friend now finds himself in a full, free-falling backslide. A lot of people have a hard time seeing…  [Read More]

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