Lessons from the past

Killed By Fear (Doctor Phobia and the C Word)

by Bill Brenner July 18, 2011 Crohn's Disease

The Fredstock 2 benefit concert Erin and I went to Friday night hit me where I live for another reason besides a love of music: The event was also about raising awareness about colorectal cancer. I’m a high-risk case. Mood music: I never knew Fred Ciampi, the man the benefit is named for. He passed away this winter from colorectal cancer, and the benefit was also meant to help out his wife, Claudia DeHaven Ciampi-Biddle. (Donations…  [Read More]

You CAN Revisit Your Past (A Trip to Revere)

by Bill Brenner July 15, 2011 Addiction

Erin had an audio conference to record Thursday morning, so to ensure a quiet house, I put the kids in the car and went to Revere Beach, the scene of my tumultuous, painful, angry yet beautiful upbringing. I’ve written a lot about Revere in this blog. How could I avoid it? But I’ve been short on photos to show you. I fixed that problem with this latest journey back in time. Sean and Duncan had…  [Read More]

The Brady Bunch Offended Me

by Bill Brenner July 12, 2011 Children's issues

Sherwood Schwartz, creator of “Gilligan’s Island” and “The Brady Bunch,” has died at age 94. Naturally, I’m remembering how I hated “The Brady Bunch” for giving me a fake picture of family life. Mood music: I hated “The Brady Bunch” because it made me so angry that my own family was never like that. But then no one’s family is really like that. I did like the movie adaptations that came out in the 1990s…  [Read More]

And The Sea Will Save You

by Bill Brenner July 6, 2011 Coping tools

When I wrote a post called “Summers of Love and Hate” last year, the theme was a childhood mixed with joy and rage against the backdrop of Revere Beach. The memories are still stained with sorrow. But, truth be told, the location of my upbringing is one of the things that saved me. Mood music: The sea could be terrifying, especially in the winter. The Blizzard of 1978 is my clearest memory of that. But…  [Read More]

Not What God Wants Me To Be, But Not The Person I was

by Bill Brenner July 6, 2011 Addiction

The title of this post is a popular saying among those who use the 12 Steps to bring their addictive behavior to heel. It’s a good line to keep in mind when you’re ready to lose patience with yourself and slip into self-loathing. Mood music: http://youtu.be/jYpydtdlWxA There’s a lot about myself that still has to change. I still get angry too easily. I still get self absorbed. I still give in to OCD thinking and…  [Read More]

Back Story Of THE OCD DIARIES

by Bill Brenner May 14, 2011 Addiction

Since I’ve been adding new readers along the way, I always get questions about why I started this thing. I recently expanded the “about” section, and that’s a good starting point. But more of a back story is in order. Mood music: Before I started THE OCD DIARIES in December 2009 with a post about depression hitting me during the holidays, I had always toyed with the idea of doing this. The reason for wanting…  [Read More]

“Do Something Every Day That Scares You”

by Bill Brenner May 9, 2011 Courage

During some leadership training at work a few months ago, the facilitators urged us to follow the advice of Eleanor Roosevelt and “Do something every day that scares you.” Now comes this new Sixx A.M. album and a song  called “Are You With Me Now” with the line, “Find the places that scare you, come on I dare you…” Mood music:  A cosmic reminder to get out of my comfort zone? Perhaps. But it’s a…  [Read More]

Firing Someone For Mental Illness Is An Outrage

by Bill Brenner April 19, 2011 Children's issues

If someone does a lousy job at work, they deserve to be fired. If someone does the job well but is fired because they have a mental illness, that’s an outrage. Mood music: [spotify:track:0OGwOky2l941SPRkE56kU9] This morning’s tirade brought to you by this comment posted on the LinkedIn NAMI group discussion board: I lost my job as Director – Communications from a regional Chamber of Commerce after disclosing my 30 years of living and working with…  [Read More]

Guilt: The Blessing and the Curse

by Bill Brenner April 7, 2011 Children's issues

Everyone struggles with guilt from time to time. Guilt is good in that feeling it means you have the desire to right a wrong. But when you mix it with OCD, the results are catastrophic. MOOD MUSIC: “Step Outside” by 360s I’ve always had a powerful guilty conscience. For the most part it has served me well. In my moments of anger, hatred, depression and despair, it has kept me from going too far in…  [Read More]

Change Is Pain, But Not Impossible

by Bill Brenner March 28, 2011 Addiction

Last night’s 12-Step meeting reminded me of just how hard real change is. I used to measure change by who won the next election. I’ve realized that the only real change that matters is within myself. Naturally, it’s the hardest, most brutal kind of change to achieve. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqkxDgCIsOw&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Last night’s AA Big Book reading focused on steps 8, 9 and 10: 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and…  [Read More]

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