Mental health

‘No Man Is A Failure Who Has Friends’

by Bill Brenner December 26, 2011 Depression

Part of the holiday tradition around here is a viewing of “It’s A Wonderful Life.” The ending used to make me sad, because it seemed to sum up what was missing in my life. For a long time, I didn’t feel like I had any friends. It was nobody’s fault. I had crawled so far inside myself that I chose dozing off on the couch with the TV remote in my hand over going outside…  [Read More]

Yes, Virginia, There Is A Grinch

by Bill Brenner December 16, 2011 Depression

Everything about Christmas is infuriating me today. It’s progress, because Christmas once brought out deep feelings of sadness, and I prefer self-righteous fury over sadness. Still, this is supposed to be a joyful season and I’m trying to find that joy. After all, nobody wants a cranky bastard in the room ruining the party. So I’ve been seeking  THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, and I must admit the results have been mixed. One thing that makes me…  [Read More]

When You’re A Kid, Little Incidents Are A Big Deal

by Bill Brenner December 15, 2011 Children's issues

A point my mother made regarding some of what I’ve written about the past: “I remember differently than you on most entries. Not because I am blind but because children are little and see things big.” Mood music: I don’t disagree with that. When you’re little you do see things big. In this case, my mother was referring to the stuff I’ve written about my childhood and whether things really happened as I remember it….  [Read More]

To The Child Who Thinks Obsessively

by Bill Brenner December 13, 2011 Children's issues

A few months back I wrote a letter to a girl named Addie, who has struggled with OCD. This is a similar letter for the child of a friend who is struggling with OCD and other mental disorders. Some of what follows was in Addie’s letter. But I’ve added to the previous thoughts because I’ve learned even more about myself and how to manage my own OCD since that was written. Mood music: Hey, there. My…  [Read More]

Seeds Of Rage At The Paul Revere School

by Bill Brenner December 12, 2011 Children's issues

My friend Marc Serra posted an eighth-grade class picture from the Paul Revere School, circa 1984-85. The scowl on my face says a lot about the time. Here I am, first from left in the back, looking like I want to stab someone in the eye: The photo was snapped maybe a year or so after my brother died. I was gaining weight by the boatload and couldn’t seem to stop. Some of the kids…  [Read More]

Because It’s Not All About Me

by Bill Brenner December 11, 2011 Adventures in writing

A friend nominated this blog for a Liebster Blog Award. I had no idea what it was until I looked it up, and it seems I may not qualify. But many others do, and I’m going to tell you about five of ’em. Mood music: First, a few words about this award: It’s meant for blogs with less than 200 followers that a fellow blogger feels deserves more attention. As part of getting nominated, you’re asked to pay…  [Read More]

My Mother Found The Blog

by Bill Brenner December 9, 2011 Children's issues

In my slow effort to reconcile with my mother, I made it easier for her to find this blog. Given the raw emotion to be found here, I was pretty sure it would be rough. Mood music: I suspect it hasn’t been easy for her to read through this thing. Not at all. But her initial comments suggest she’s really trying to get it and put it in the proper perspective. Some of my memories…  [Read More]

Christmas Group Therapy

by Bill Brenner December 9, 2011 Depression

Yup.

THE OCD DIARIES, Two Years Later

by Bill Brenner December 7, 2011 Addiction

Two years ago today, in a moment of Christmas-induced depression, I started this blog. I meant for it to be a place where I could go and spill out the insanity in my head so I could carry on with life. In short order, it snowballed into much more than that. Mood music: http://youtu.be/IKpEoRlcHfA About a year into my recovery from serious mental illness and addiction — the most uncool, unglamorous addiction at that — I started…  [Read More]

Slaying Old Fears In The Hollywood Hills

by Bill Brenner November 30, 2011 Addiction

This week I’ve been in Los Angeles on business. But I’ve been slaying some old demons while here. Mood music: Let’s go back 20 years — July 1991 — when I came out here with Sean Marley on my first trip to the west coast. I didn’t really want to go because I was afraid of everything and everyone. But Sean was red hot about the idea, and back then I was always out to impress the man. So off we went, on…  [Read More]

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