Those who read this blog know two things by now: I’m a devout Catholic, and I have a passion for Metal music. Both have played a central role in my recovery from OCD and addiction. But the spiritual part has been getting the shaft lately.
I’ve been leaning hard on the metal lately. Earlier I spent two hours burning the most searing music in my iTunes library onto discs for tomorrow’s 12-hour trip south. I’m especially into The Runaways and The Stooges of late. They are not metal in the conventional sense, but those bands had a huge impact on many of my favorite bands today.
I’m especially hooked on this Runaways song:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI3RneGO_ks&hl=en_US&fs=1]
And this Stooges song:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDNzQ3CXspU&hl=en_US&fs=1]
Back to God. I’ve been giving him the shaft of late. I haven’t given up on him and he NEVER gives up on me. But my sinning streak continues, and my mind wanders during Mass more than it should these days. 
There are reasons for my preoccupations. I’ve been ramping up several writing projects for the work I do in the security industry. Money has been tight and we’ve spent a lot of time putting the finances back in order. Thankfully, we’re getting there. And there’s the ongoing pressures of holding onto my abstinence from binge eating and sobriety from alcohol.
But those aren’t good excuses.
Sometimes I forget that my life would be nowhere without God. Only when I let Him in my life did the pieces start falling into place. It’s time I refocused on paying The Man more respect.
Some folks have noted that I’m serving God by sponsoring people in my 12-Step Program. True. But it’s not nearly enough.
This fall I’m going to pursue a 12-Step “Big Book” study because I’m ready for the next step of my recovery. That will force me to put more trust in my “Higher Power.”
I’m also going to help out with this fall’s R.C.I.A (Right of Christian Initiation for Adults) class at the church. That’s where I’ll be spending my Tuesday nights for nine months.
Good thing, too.
I need the refresher course.
Obviously, I won’t mention the person I know who is in both AA & OA but she has shared much of her recovery with me. One of my favorite comments of hers about the differences in each program is:
“AA members seem to have a lower bottom to hit & we seem to hit it harder. OA members seem to have realized that they don’t have to take the elevator to the bottom floor before they get off.”
Bill, I’ve really been enjoying reading your posts! Finally, a fellow devout Catholic who understands! I’m a recovering alcoholic and porn-addict; a Catholic revert, probably have OCD, definitely suffer from a milder form of bi-polar depression, with a history of alcoholism and suicide in my family. I became, and remain, a devoted fan of KISS at 10 years old, (long ago) and have always had a strong attraction to heavy metal music since then. I was always told that it was because I was so angry, but I never realized that maybe it was truly a necessary way of coping with the anger as you have written here. I still frequently listen to KISS, Queensryche, and some other metal bands, plus I discovered Christian metal bands like Stryper, Bloodgood, Whitecross, Petra, etc. I have been sober in A.A. almost 20 years, and I would be hopelessly lost without BOTH A.A. and my Catholic Faith.
God bless!