New England has been mired in a soupy, cloudy, downright dreary weather pattern for most of the last week or so. We were teased with sunshine Saturday, only to be tossed back under the clouds Sunday. For someone prone to mental illness, this is hell.
Mood music:
Like most people with mental ticks, too much of this weather is bad for my well being. It throws me into a prolonged period of discouragement and depression. All I want to do is fall asleep in my chair, but that’s not possible most of the time. It becomes a lot harder NOT to binge on the things my addiction craves.
These days, the depression part sneaks up on me, whereas before it was much more transparent.
Last week I thought I was holding up pretty well. Things were especially busy at work and I threw myself into it. I normally do that anyway, but with the clouds thick outside, I did it with extra zeal. The thinking is that if I stay busy I won’t notice the gray outside. As a kid, I used to do something vaguely similar, trying to go to sleep as a hurricane or thunderstorm approached so I could just sleep through nature’s fury.
This past winter was particularly vicious, and it hit me hard. I didn’t realize it in real time. It sort of smoldered beneath the surface until it blew up in my face in mid-February.
Something similar has happened this past week. It hasn’t blown up in my face, but by week’s end it occurred to me that I wasn’t at my best.
I was quieter at home. I had less patience with the kids. 
With the sunshine Saturday, I sat on the back deck for 2 hours and tried to sop up as much of the solar energy as I could. I knew I needed to resupply — and fast.
Sunday, when the clouds rolled back in, the progress of the day before seemed to have been erased.
I’ll get through it. I always do.
But if you’re feeling blue or discouraged, it’s not just you. I suspect a lot of people in N.E. feel like me this morning.
The key is to get through it without binging or letting the important things slide.
So far, I think I’m doing OK with that.
But the sooner the sun comes back, the better.