The OCD Diaries

Both kids have reached double digits since I last did a post like this, which means they’ve gone from cute to witty. Like their old man, that wit is delivered with a sharp tongue. Here’s what they’ve been saying and doing in recent weeks.

Like a lot of kids their age, Sean and Duncan are very much into Minecraft and Wii LEGO games. They take the activities very seriously and will frequently yell at the laptop or TV if things aren’t going their way. Sometimes I try to brighten their spirits, reminding them it’s only a game that should be fun. Other times I’ll needle them. Either way, they work hard to come back with real crushers.

Sean: “Dad, nobody likes you. I can’t for the life of me figure out what Mom sees in you.”

Duncan: “Get a life, Dad. I hear they’re good.”

Ask the kids who’s in charge of the castle, and they won’t hesitate to tell you it ain’t me.

Sean, describing his mom’s vocal level when one of us is in trouble: “When she yells ‘Move!’ all the dead people jump out of their graves and run.”

Sean: “Dad is very careful to make sure Mom gets downtime. He knows that when she doesn’t get downtime, everything burns.”

Noticing that Sean didn’t put his bowl in the dishwasher, I made him come downstairs.

Me: “Look in the sink and tell me what’s wrong with this picture.”

Sean: “You’re in it.”

We’re sitting in the orthodontist’s waiting room when a mom brings her 7 year old son in for his first appointment. The boy says he’s a little scared and “hopes the laser doesn’t hurt.”

Hearing this, Sean tells him, “Don’t worry. It doesn’t hurt till after they’re done with the laser.”

Sean’s self-portrait:

Duncan recently made his own fortune cookies. This included writing the fortunes:

The boys love to get a rise out of each other. Sean likes to use art as a weapon:

I’ve seen a lot of dumb things on the Return of Kings website. There was the “Five Reasons to Date a Girl with an Eating Disorder” and another rant about how women who don’t reproduce hurt society. Now there’s an article about how society owes men sex.

Mood music:

Now, it wouldn’t be fair to criticize without looking at the background of the site. Return of Kings is described as “a blog for heterosexual, masculine men. It’s meant for a small but vocal collection of men in America today who believe men should be masculine and women should be feminine.” I believe in free speech. Accordingly, I think the authors have the right to say what they want, no matter how ridiculous I find it. It’s possible, too, that the authors’ ultimate goal is satire.

There’s also a surge in troll blogging, where headlines like those above are tossed out to get a reaction. But since there are those who will take the headlines seriously, not seeing it for what it is, someone has to occasionally respond and debunk.

In the latest article, the author claims that sex is a birthright of the male species, an important status symbol. Men who aren’t rewarded with a good woman are looked down upon, and the more of them there are, the more society decays.

From the post:

A tribe that fails to set up its young men with women keeps false faith on its side of the social contract. If they won’t get you a woman they’re telling you you’re worthless—that you don’t deserve to pass down your line. They don’t want you. A group that values you makes sure you have sexual relationships that bind you to your people and give you a stake that you’ll be willing to defend when the going gets tough. Because they value you, they want your genes in the next generation

A group that does nothing to help, or outright cockblocks you, is just a parasite that feeds on itself. It becomes a society of death that  prevents reproduction, setting the sexes against each other, tearing them apart. It becomes like a planet with an acid atmosphere and crushing gravity; a place hostile to human life.

There’s the suggestion that women are trophies; that sex is a man’s reward for being manly. To believe the post is to believe that intimacy is something you win like the spoils of war. There’s nothing in here about mutual respect and love.

Some people see sex as an extracurricular activity, a casual thing. I see nothing wrong with that. If that’s what makes both partners happy, who am I to judge?

Others see it as the author of that post: something a man needs to be respected. Women can experience the same pressure.

I was a late bloomer who wasted a lot of time worrying about the pursuit of sex. I had lousy luck and therefore felt subhuman. It’s a very common experience. Once I got there, I felt dumb for making such a big deal about it in the first place.

No one owed me anything. For me, it was simply a matter of finding true love, which I ultimately did.

The folks at Return of Kings can have their big, dumb sex and write all they want about what it takes to be a man. It doesn’t make them right, and it doesn’t mean we have to believe them.

Just a quick note that there will be no fresh posts here for the next week. Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong. I’ll simply be at a big security event and will be plenty busy there. Until then, peace be with you all. 🙂