The Beauty in the Wreck

Kelly Lum (a.k.a., @aloria) has been an acquaintance for nearly four years, though I wouldn’t say we’re close friends. We’re both part of the information security community and bump into each other at the occasional conference. When we do talk, we find one thing in common.

A life-long struggle with depression.

Mood music:

I’ve been open about it in this blog. She’s been open about it in her social media postings.

Last week, she published an article in which she gives the fullest account yet of her struggles. Specifically, she writes about how finding beauty in abandoned, decayed places helped her find an appreciation and even a love for her inner demons.

As one of our common connections said online, if this were the first chapter of a book, I wouldn’t put it down.

I long ago learned to find the best parts of myself from within the mental disorder. By accepting OCD and depression as part of what makes me tick instead of a contagion that needed to be destroyed, I found my way forward in the world. I’ve found beauty and grace in the struggle. It’s a blessing to reach that realization. I’m glad Kelly has reached that place, too.

It doesn’t end the pain, but it brings purpose to it.

Thanks for sharing, Kelly, and Godspeed.

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Seven Insights into Dealing with Depression

I got this question from a reader over the weekend, after he read my “Suicide in the Blood” post:

I was just curious after reading this article: As much as I think about suicide and sometimes homicide, am I capable of carrying this out? I’m bipolar and have very serious depression also. Bipolar personality disorder and ADHD make it very hard to keep my mood swings down and my mind focused. I really need some perspective on this. Please help. Thanks.

It’s not an easy question to answer, as no two head cases are the same. I have my own experiences but what worked for me won’t necessarily help everyone. Still, those personal accounts are what I have to offer. These are my experiences with depression, from the circumstances and feelings to the tools I acquired for coping with the demons.

May it help you find some answers.

Mood music:

Depressed But OK With It: You can learn to keep living even when depression bears down hard.

Happily Ever After Is Bullshit & That’s OK: When depression slaps me upside the head, it’s on the heels of a prolonged period of good feelings and positive energy. These setbacks can be discouraging, but you can survive them with the right perspective.

The Mood Swing: When moods shift with little warning, the risks are severe. As with most problems, knowing you have one is the first step to better management.

Metal Saved Me: Hard rock is one of my most powerful coping tools. It’s not for everyone, but there’s a common element: Music heals.

The Bad Pill Kept Me from the Good Pill: I resisted medication for a long time. Here’s why I finally took the leap of faith. Most importantly, here’s what I’ve gained as a result.

Debunking the Shrink Stigma: Many people resist the idea of getting therapy. But in the battle over one’s demons, a shrink is a powerful ally.

Happy Depression: Can you be depressed and happy at the same time? I can.

depression