The OCD Diaries

May 26, 2015May 26, 2015

Ireland’s Gay Marriage Vote Was Inevitable

Some on social media are surprised Ireland voted so overwhelmingly to legalize gay marriage. One reason may be because Ireland is so predominantly Catholic, and Catholic doctrine says homosexuality is wrong.

As an American Catholic, I think the vote went as it did because more and more Catholics are thinking as I do on this subject.

Mood music:

My conscience tells me that government has absolutely no business defining what marriage — and, more to the point, love — should be about. The Catholic Church believes it should define what marriage is and the government should support that. I don’t agree with that, either.

I accept the Church’s opinion on gay marriage. I’m part of a union between one man and one woman, just as the Church wants it. But that’s my belief system. I don’t believe in imposing a lifestyle on other people.

There’s this notion that a person wakes up one day and decides being gay is a great lifestyle choice. All the people I’ve known over the years who fought against and hid their sexuality have shown me that’s bullshit. They didn’t get a choice. When they denied who they were, they became slaves to shame, escaping through false personas, drugs, and suicide.

For more on my take on homosexuality, see:
“Gay Haters or Just Idiots?”
“Racists AND Idiots”
“Depression and Being Gay”
“One More Thing About Being Depressed and Gay …“

No one should be forced to live a lie because of stigmas set down by church and government. No one should be told who and how to love.

I think, quite simply, that there are a lot of people in Ireland — globally, really, — who have had similar experiences with this issue.

So count me among those who are thrilled with the Irish vote.

The marriage equality symbol, with a Black Flag twist.

June 11, 2014

The Blues Brothers’ Brand of Catholicism

The Blues Brothers is one of my all-time favorite comedies. What’s not to love about over-the-top police chases, white supremacists being pushed over a bridge by an oncoming car and levitating nuns?

My kids finally reached an age to see the film, and they loved every minute of it. Being good Catholic school boys, they especially loved watching two guys get into all manner of trouble to raise money to save a Catholic orphanage.

Mood video:

As a converted Catholic, I’ve read the Biblical passages about Jesus befriending slimy tax collectors and thieves. People often miss the point that He came down to save people like that and that all dirtbags have a shot at redemption.

Given my earlier history of bad behavior and the struggles I still have in being a good person, it’s a faith I cling to hard, hoping that I ultimately earn my blessings.

When things are hard, it’s easy for people to get discouraged and lose faith. What I love about The Blues Brothers is that Jake and Elwood Blues are constantly getting shit hurled at them. The cops are after them, the Illinois Nazis want to kill them and Jake’s ex keeps trying to blow them to bits. But they’re undeterred, plodding along, putting their band back together and playing a concert to raise the tax money to save the orphanage they grew up in.

They misbehave in every possible way, but their hearts stay in the right place.

They go back to prison, but they accomplish their “mission from God.”

The movie symbolizes something special for me: faith that stands up to everything. I doubt that’s how John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd planned it. The movie is ultimately a celebration of Chicago and the blues.

But it’s what I got from it, and it makes me happy.

The Blues Brothers

May 21, 2014

“Why Are You Religious?”

A security industry friend and self-proclaimed atheist asked why I’m religious. She ‘s surprised that there are so many religious people in an industry built on a foundation of technology and truth, of only believing in what can be seen and proven.

Specifically, she asked:

I want to ask you why you’re religious. It’s odd. I’ve been in tech for almost 20 years, and infosec seems to have the highest concentration of religious people of any sub-section of technology. As an atheist, it’s hard for me to reconcile such diligent pursuit of truth and provable evidence as comes with technology and religion. It just doesn’t parse for me.

This is my attempt to answer her question.

Mood music:

History

I’ve always believed in God. As a kid hospitalized multiple times with dangerous Crohn’s Disease flare-ups, I asked God to make the pain stop. Whenever I got better, I did what a lot of people do and stopped praying. I was born Jewish, but mine was a fairly secular household. We celebrated Jewish and Christian holidays alike, but God had little to do with it.

A lot of people become religious after life-altering events like a heart attack or the death of a loved one. I know people who found religion after nearly getting killed on a battlefield. There’s also the belief in a higher power that’s central to 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous.

I’ve been around the block, seeing the death of a sibling and a best friend to suicide. I’ve had scary medical problems. I’ve experienced deep, dark depression and addiction. I fell in love with a Catholic woman.

Those things shaped my faith, but there was no aha moment. My beliefs evolved over time. The more I experienced the Masses, the more I believed. So I converted.

What I Believe

That history led me to these beliefs:

I believe that Jesus came down here and sacrificed himself to give sinners like me a shot at redemption.
I believe in the Sacraments, and that through them, Christ lives in me. His teachings of kindness, charity and self-sacrifice — the Golden Rule, if you will — are principles I try to live by. There have been times where I’ve failed miserably — lying, giving in to temptation and anger and letting fear keep me from doing the right things.
I’m a sinner who strives to turn away from sin, and I have a long way to go.
I believe Christ never gives up on me, or anyone else for that matter.

If that sounds crazy to you, so be it. Just as you don’t have to justify your atheism to me, I don’t have to justify my faith to you.

I don’t think it’s possible to give you a satisfactory answer, anyway. You’re set in you’re beliefs, as am I. We won’t change each other’s minds, nor should we.

Jerks in Every Belief System

What matters to me is that people accept each other’s differences.

I don’t like when people force their beliefs on others. Talking down to someone because they see things differently pisses me off. I’ve seen a lot of Catholics do that and I’ve called them on the carpet for it. I’ve seen atheists behave just as badly.

Some believe you can either be religious or be someone who, as you said, diligently pursues truth and provable evidence; that you can’t have it both ways.

I disagree.

I don’t see it as an either-or proposition. You can practice faith and still be a seeker of physical truth.

Sometimes, one pursuit helps the other. Sometimes not.

cross shadowed by rising sun

March 14, 2013

Will the Catholic Church Lighten Up Under Pope Francis?

After the world got its first gander at Pope Francis yesterday, the inevitable “Lighten up, Francis” jokes started flying.

But there’s more than a cheap joke in all this. The question of whether the Church will lighten up under Pope Francis is a legitimate one.

Mood music:

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I’m a devout Catholic, which is to say I follow Jesus and believe he’s my savior. But I’ve often turned my nose up at the Vatican bureaucracy and have spoken up frequently about my belief that major reforms are needed to revitalize the Church. We need to put it all on the table: The role of women must be expanded. We must stop treating gays like lepers. We need to revisit the priest celibacy issue. Above all, we have to stop being self-righteous jerks. In other words, yes, the Catholic Church does need to lighten up.

Also see “My Name Is Bill, and I’m with the Religious Left.”

Is Pope Francis the man to get us there? Probably not. But that doesn’t mean he’ll be a bad pope.

Based on published reports, including this one from CNN, the man is no friend of the so-called liberal wing of the church. Says CNN:

Francis opposes same-sex marriage and abortion, which isn’t surprising as leader of the socially conservative Catholic church.

But as a cardinal, Francis clashed with the government of Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner over his opposition to gay marriage and free distribution of contraceptives.

But that and other reports also describe him as a simple man. He chose the name Francis — the first Pope to do so — because he wanted to honor St. Francis of Assisi, a servant to the poor and destitute. St. Francis of Assisi was born into a world of wealth but chose to live in rags among beggars at St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome.

A Few Thoughts About Pope Benedict XVI

I’ve had 24 hours to absorb the news that Pope Benedict XVI is stepping down at the end of the month. I think he’s doing the right thing and showing some true fortitude. But I’m also glad because there’s an opportunity for the Catholic Church to right some wrongs.

Mood music:

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The Church has stubbornly held on to backward beliefs about the role of women, the status of a person’s Catholicism after a divorce, and its attitude toward gays. It has the evil legacy of sexually abusive priests and the cover-ups involved still hanging over it. Perhaps as a result, few men are joining the priesthood these days.

The current thinking in the Church is that these matters aren’t open for debate because the Bible lays out how things should be. I agree with some of that. I think the parts about loving your neighbor, feeding the hungry and receiving the Sacraments are timeless. But when it comes to how we treat people who are different and how we treat women, the old ways of thinking need to give way.

I’m hoping a new pope can steer us in the right direction. Meantime, I’m going to just keep trying to be the best Christian I can.

Pope Benedict XVI