Coffee Withdrawal as a Mental Illness

Get this: The latest version of the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA’s) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), has added caffeine withdrawal to the list of mental illnesses.

Ridiculous, you say? I did at first. But on further reflection, it makes sense.

Mood music:

http://youtu.be/p5em6PisRyk

Those who know me are well aware of my ability to consume large amounts of caffeine. I drink coffee all morning and, when possible, I switch to Red Bull in the afternoon. I know it’s an addiction, but I gave up just about everything else, so I cling to it unapologetically.

But I have quit it at various times in the past, and I remember what the first few days were like. The headaches. The fatigue. The depression. Yes, I did feel depression.

It makes perfect sense. Consider that when you suffer mental pain, it usually becomes physical pain, and vice versa. If you’re deprived of a substance you’re addicted to, you will fall into a depression. I was depressed as hell when I first gave up flour and sugar, and the real cigarettes I eventually replaced with e-cigs. With that in mind, the APA’s move makes perfect sense.

But I do feel the need to throw cold water on the idea that the sufferer should be treated like a victim. A lot of articles about this topic drop lines like “It’s not your fault.” The thing is, it is your fault.

True, I wasn’t necessarily in my right mind when I chose to binge eat and get tanked on bottles of wine. I certainly wasn’t in a healthy mental place when I sought comfort in cigarette smoke. But each time, I had a choice: I could do it or not. I gave in to weakness each time, and when I gave up the other things and suffered withdrawal, it was indeed my own damn fault.

That’s fine by me, since these experiences make us human and, ideally, we come out stronger and in better control of our actions. But let’s see this for what it is: mental illness triggered by one’s inability to control the intake of addictive substances. A self-inflicted wound.

From there, the APA’s move could lead us to some useful action items for dealing with the withdrawal.

Coffee

Time for Tea

This is going to shock a lot of you, given the steady flow of coffee you’ve watched me drink day after day, but try to stay calm.

I’m drinking tea, and lots of it.

Mood music:

[spotify:track:4NlR3rwvLtLcLuKZxIiYp4]

This change wasn’t planned. No doctor told me to do it or risk a heart attack. And I haven’t given up my beloved java.

In recent days, I’ve started splitting the day between coffee and tea: coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon and evening.

For whatever reason, I really started to crave tea Saturday afternoon. It could be because my mindfulness teacher keeps telling the class to “have tea with your problems” or “tea with your dragon.” When you have an addictive personality like mine, the more someone repeats something like that, the more you start to want it. It’s why I can’t hang out with people who want to talk about nothing but boozing. Before long, I start jonesing for a bottle.

I got home that afternoon and had some green tea. Later, I had some chamomile. It felt good. I felt more at ease. A new afternoon-evening habit was born.

Those who know me well know how much I love caffeine. Coffee is the main delivery system, along with Red Bull, though I haven’t had the latter for a couple weeks now. I simply haven’t felt like having it.

There’s a stupid part of me that sometimes resists change because I’ve spent so much time building up an image. Admittedly, I like the sober, bitter-coffee-swilling hardcore image I’ve built for myself. But the smarter part of me knows that it’s always best to try new things and expand one’s horizons. That’s why I started playing guitar again after nearly 20 years. Playing is quickly becoming my main addiction and I’m fine with that, because it means I’m not burying my face behind the laptop screen as much as I used to. I discovered Saturday that tea goes really good with guitar playing.

So here I am, drinking tea and coffee. Turns out, there’s plenty of room in the day for both.

Just as long as the writer doesn’t drink all the editor’s tea. —The Editor

Green Tea