The OCD Diaries

November 18, 2016

Depression and Anxiety in the Age of Trump

This post isn’t to endorse or condemn either of this year’s presidential candidates. It IS acknowledgement that people are shaken by the election of Donald Trump as president. For many, the uncertainty and fear translates into depression and anxiety.

If Hillary Clinton had won, there’d be a lot of Trump supporters suffering in similar fashion. So I would have been writing this post anyway.

The big question is how to move forward if the election has left you in a state of darkness. What follows are my suggestions. They are not scientific and I’m certainly no doctor. It is simply based on what I’ve learned in my own journey through the darkness and light.

Mood music:

For me, the fate of the world used to seem to hang on the next election.

In 1994, I was a lot more liberal than I am today. (I’ve gone from slightly left of center to dead center politically over time.) That year, the GOP swept both chambers of Congress and I was devastated. Two years before that, when Bill Clinton was elected president, I thought all would be right with the world. A lot of people had the same emotional jolt eight years ago when Obama was elected, while folks on the other side of the spectrum were as depressed in 2008 as those now dismayed by Trump’s rise.

As I got older and did a lot of work to manage my demons, I found that my personal happiness wasn’t tied to which way the political winds blow. What says it all are the lyrics from the Avett Brothers song I started this post with:

When nothing is owed, deserved or expected
And you’re life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If your loved by someone you’re never rejected.
Decide what to be and go be it.

My life has taken turns for the better and worse regardless of who is in office. Government can’t change me. Only I can.

But that’s where my journey has taken me. It would be unfair and unrealistic to ask people in the throes of election-induced depression to simply flip a switch and approach it like me. So I’m going to point out a few things that might make you feel better in the short term. Some of it is serious, and some of it not so much.

His time is limited. People looking at the next four years with a sense of doom should remember that there’s a mid-term congressional election in two years. Given how divided the electorate is, it wouldn’t take much for a wave of voter discontent to change the balance of power in Congress. That happened to Bill Clinton and Barack Obama early in their presidencies, and it happened to George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan halfway through their second terms. The voters have a habit of balancing the scales when Washington goes too far in the wrong direction.
A burning forest gives way to new life. It’s been said that a lot of people were willing to vote for Trump despite his racist, sexist comments because they saw him as a Molotov cocktail they could throw at a capitol rife with corruption. Indeed, Democrats and Republicans in Congress have failed the American people badly these last 15-plus years. Trump doesn’t have many friends among them and that could have a burning effect on the establishment that forces both parties to change their ways.
He may not be so bad. If you look at his history, Trump has put women in high positions. He relies heavily on the counsel of a son-in-law who is devout in his Jewish faith, and he has said that same-sex marriage rights are settled law. He’s also backtracked on his talk about killing Obamacare, instead talking more about reforming it than replacing it. The healthcare law is certainly in need of fixing. Maybe he’ll turn out to be pretty middle-of-the-road, and the worst-case scenarios won’t materialize. All that could be wishful thinking on my part, but one never knows.
New Star Wars films are coming. No matter how bad things may get, Disney has ensured that we’ll have a new Star Wars movie for each of the next four years. Star Wars always makes things better.

Whatever happens, we need to take care of ourselves. If you are prone to depression and anxiety, seek out your friends and family. Talk to someone. I’m always happy to lend an ear. If you have a therapist, keep your appointments. If you think you might need medication, talk to your doctors.

All this may seem like the obvious, but we need constant reminders — especially when we’re down.

As long as we work to be the best individuals we can be, and as long as we keep the things beyond our control in perspective, we will survive and even prosper.

November 16, 2016

Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers on My Right

The morning after Donald Trump was elected president, I posted this:

I didn’t vote for Trump. I don’t like him. I didn’t like Bush, either. But the left survived Bush and the right survived Obama. We’ll survive Trump, too. If we as individuals keep doing our best every day and be the blessing to friends, family and colleagues, everything will be fine. A better world starts with you.

I also posted this, after seeing a Trump supporter gloat over the despair of Hillary Clinton supporters:

To the FB connection gloating about how great he feels to see HRC voters at work dejected, you are part of the problem. People on both sides have been brutal this election cycle. You could have set aside political differences and been decent to your fellow human. You could have shown some compassion and humility. Instead, you were an asshole — no better than those who may have unfairly labeled you for supporting Trump.

Some of you didn’t like that, saying I should have shown the same compassion for Trump supporters traumatized for being called racist and sexist. Truth is, I find it just as bad when Trump voters are called names. As the old saying goes, two wrongs don’t make a right.

Mood music:

There’s plenty of blame to go around for this shitshow. Here are my thoughts.

When bigotry isn’t a deal breaker
It’s true, millions who voted for Trump are not racist or sexist. They chose based on years of economic frustration and a feeling that the left talks down to them. Some of you complained bitterly about being branded a hater. Fair enough. I know a lot of Trump supporters who are great people. But they still voted for someone who used hateful rhetoric to rile up people who are in fact bigots, and a lot of good people have a problem with that. Instead of whining about being labeled something you’re not, maybe you should listen to the other side and clarify your own views.

Personally, I thought Trump’s candidacy should have fizzled after he mocked a disabled reporter. I’m still floored that so many voters were OK with that. Do I think Trump himself is a sexist bigot? Well, he has placed women in high positions over the course of his career and his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, is devout in his Jewish faith. But his comments about women in that leaked Access Hollywood tape are impossible to ignore.

I’m also not encouraged by Trump’s decision to make Steve Bannon a senior White House advisor. Bannon, head of Breitbart News before joining Trump’s campaign, has linked Breitbart to the “alt-right,” a movement of people who view immigration and multiculturalism as a threat to the white race.

The inconvenience of truth
Instead of reasoned debate, a lot of you shared articles on Facebook that were false and often malicious. This was truly a bipartisan failing. Left- and right-leaning friends were equally prolific in sharing content that fit their preconceived notions. I often wondered if people were even clicking on these articles and reading them first. I have no doubt people saw headlines they liked and that was enough.

Posting untrue tripe on Facebook is nothing new, but some of you really upped your game this year.

Free speech didn’t end with the election
Some of you have complained that the election is over and that people unhappy with the result need to grow up, get over it and move on. That’s some bullshit right there. When Obama won in 2008 and 2012, a lot of you reacted the same way Clinton supporters are reacting now. You had your right to a mourning period. So do they.

And just as you are entitled to your opinions, so are those who don’t agree with you. Telling people to shut up makes you a hypocrite.

The left must listen
Now that we have President Trump, the left must come clean about a huge failing that helped feed the man’s rise. Specifically, some of you have repeatedly talked down to conservatives in rural America like they’re idiots when in fact they work hard and want the best for their families, friends and neighbors, just like you. Are there bigots among them? Yes. But most people are just trying to survive economically, and the global economy has not been kind to them. You should spend less time talking at them about how things should be and more time listening.

My friend Nick Selby said it best in this blog post: “Democrats believe truly that they have moral righteousness and certitude of intelligence. You don’t.”

Democrats also have to acknowledge that they left blue-collar America behind long ago. In the early 21st century, the party shifted from being one that stood by union workers to one that catered to Wall Street. Raising money became the priority, and the party lost its way. A lot of the people left in the lurch became Trump supporters. The same is true for the Republican party, but the left needs to own its own part in this.

I still believe humanity is good. I’ve seen people who disagree politically help each other time and again in hours of need and enjoy each other’s company during good times. When bad things happen, the best of humanity always steps up to alleviate pain and suffering, regardless of political beliefs.

Now, if we could just stop being assholes the rest of the time.

June 23, 2016June 23, 2016

Vote Your Conscience and Get Off My Lawn

I’ve been mostly silent about this year’s presidential contest. Since I’ve been pretty opinionated about such things in the past, this has worried some of my loved ones. And so, for this one post, I will tell you what I think.

Mood music:

https://youtu.be/-oUAekdWSO4

My worldview is much different than it was in my younger years. I used to think the fate of humanity hinged on each election. If the candidate I supported was in a tight race or losing, it would make me sick.

As I’ve gone through my personal growth journey, I’ve found that national and global politics are less important to me than the local politics. Tip O’Neill once said that all politics are local, but he was from a time when politicians knew how to compromise at the national level. Things are so polarized now that nothing of consequence can get done.

Still, I care about who my president is, because they are our representative to the world. I like my presidents to be moderate, middle-of-the-road pragmatists who don’t let ideology blind them to situations that demand flexible thinking.

In a lot of ways, Hillary Clinton would be my ideal candidate. She’s not as moderate as her husband was, but I think her experience as a senator and secretary of state would serve the country well on the global stage. I also think it’s past time we had a woman as president.

But as an internet security guy, I can’t get past the recklessness of how she managed her email during her State Department years. She had access to extremely sensitive information on the country’s diplomatic and military dealings, and to run that data through an unprotected server in her house may well have endangered the lives of agents in the field.

We in the security profession have been telling businesses for years that conducting business via personal email is a bad idea; that company email systems with extra security protections are a must. Since I’ve written a lot about that, it would be hypocritical of me to vote for someone who can’t abide by the same rules.

Donald Trump is an entertainer, a mogul with a mixed business record and a flamethrower. His campaign speeches have been blatantly racist and sexist. His big boast is that he’ll build a wall all along the Mexican border and have Mexico pay for it. If elected, he won’t accomplish any of the things he says he’ll get done (not that I think that’s a bad thing). He’ll just keep making dumb statements that will make us look bad to the rest of the world. So, no, I won’t be voting for him.

The Libertarian candidate, Gary Johnson, is more my speed: socially liberal and fiscally conservative. He’s been a governor, so he has executive experience the others don’t have. His running mate, Bill Weld, was my governor back in the ’90s, and I thought he did a good job cutting government waste and holding the line on taxes. I see Johnson-Weld as the most harmless choice, so that’s where my vote is going.

More than one person has said I’m foolish for voting for someone who “can’t possibly” win. That’s a foolish line of thinking in any election cycle. The most important thing a voter can do is obey their conscience. It’s one thing if you have two choices where one is close enough to your convictions and most likely to win to make sense. This year, in my opinion, both major-party candidates are too far off the reservation for me to support.

Feel free to try and change my mind. I doubt you will.

July 8, 2012February 16, 2018

Trump Snubbed by Poland’s First Lady? Research It Before You Share

Updated July 8, 2017:

People are losing their shit over a news clip showing Poland’s first lady, Agata Kornhauser-Duda, snubbing President Trump –passing by his outstretched hand and shaking First Lady Melania Trump’s hand instead.

But it didn’t happen that way.

Watch this UNEDITED clip and you’ll see that she did shake Donald’s hand. She simply shook FLOTUS’ first.

I’m reminded of the post below, written in 2014.

As I reread it, my tone comes off harsher than it probably should have. Perhaps I was just feeling high and mighty because this was before the 2016 election, when “fake news” became the rallying cry for everyone who read things they disagreed with.

Since then, I’ve probably fallen for a few. We like to paint people we disagree with in the worst possible terms. To liberals, people who voted for Trump are gullible, stupid and worse. To conservatives, liberals are universally slagged as overbearing, condescending, freedom-hating and the like.

There’s certainly some of that on both sides. But neither are universally true.

In the case of fake content on the Internet, a lot of people on both sides of the political divide fall for it daily — including those who fall into the reasonably intelligent category.

Fake news is still a relatively new thing, and we simply have some learning to do.

It drives home the importance of checking the facts on every meme, video clip and audio bit before sharing as truth. It’s more work than just hitting the like, share and retweet buttons. But people should put their beliefs to the test on a regular basis, anyway.

***

Original post, from June 24, 2014…

People on Facebook continue to say and do things that are so off the rails that it’s hard not to say anything.

I’ve mentioned it before, specifically the tendency of people to troll, share relationship troubles and re-post content that satisfies one’s need for outrage but doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

Now there’s a fresh twist: People re-posting articles that are meant to be parody but labeling them as fact.

Mood music:

http://youtu.be/fwQ0fVShIZk

The most notable example is Duffel Blog, a new favorite of mine. It’s like The Onion, with a focus on military matters. Recent headlines include “After Reaching Baghdad, ISIS Militants Declare ‘Mission Accomplished’” and “Dick Cheney Negotiates No-Bid Contract to Maintain Insurgent Humvees.”

The most amusing item so far this week blazed across my newsfeed in all caps: “CIA ADMITS: EDWARD SNOWDEN WAS TOP ASSASSIN.”

I shared that one on my Facebook page because the article itself was pretty funny. But I’ve seen more than one person sharing Duffel Blog stories and commenting in a way that suggests they bought the headline as truth.

Let me give you a piece of advice: If you see a headline that looks crazy, there’s probably a reason for it.

It’s satire.
It’s a hoax.
It’s propaganda, which is always slanted, whether it comes from the left or right.

Parody items you can see for what they are simply by reading past the headline. Halfway through, the joke becomes obvious.

For hoaxes and propaganda, I recommend running headlines by the handy Snopes.com, which will tell you if something is true or fake.

Research can be hard. It can be a bother. It’s so much easier to just react and opine.

But unless you want to embarrass yourself, research is necessary.