Politics, Facebook Friends and the Damage Done

After all my blogging this past election season about how friends and family shouldn’t become enemies over politics and how we all need to knock off the conspiracy theories and name-calling, I’m reviewing my Facebook friends list in search of damage. Here’s my final analysis.

It turns out one person unfriended me. I considered her a solid Facebook friend. We went to high school together and shared many musical tastes. We both post a lot about our families and love and care for our children. But last week she cut me loose without explanation. I think I know why.

She has always been the type to complain a lot on Facebook, such as fights with her husband and hatred of her job. She held nothing back. That’s her right. It is her Facebook account, after all. The day after the election, she melted down, suggesting that things would never be OK again and that we were all doomed. I mentioned her comment in my day-after-the-election post, though I didn’t mention her by name. My goal was to cheer up her and others crushed by Romney’s defeat by offering some “life goes on” perspective. But she apparently wasn’t up for it.

No hard feelings. I don’t regret what I did, and I did keep her comment anonymous.

Meanwhile, I unfriended four people, including a husband and wife, last week. I didn’t do so because these people were liberal or conservative. I did it because I felt they were going over the top and painting everyone who disagreed with them as tyrants.

One former and very liberal friend finally gave me more than I could take when he posted a meme trivializing the power of prayer compared to science. He had been posting stuff like that all along and pinning all the world’s folly on Republicans. Believing as I do that both parties are equally to blame for our current economic and political troubles and in the power of prayer, I decided I didn’t need to see his bullshit anymore.

I hated unfriending the husband and wife. I particularly liked the husband, given our common musical tastes and the paths we both crossed back in the day, even if we didn’t know each other at the time. But they were taking their hatred of President Obama to levels I finally found too toxic for my blood.

If they had simply posted stuff about how Romney was the better choice for America, I’d have been fine with it. But everything became a conspiracy to them. Obama went from being the least capable steward of the economy to someone like Hitler, a guy who happily kills women and children and then covers it up. Their posts intensified after the election, and that’s when I respectfully cut ties.

All in all, I’d say the damage wasn’t too terrible. That’s a small amount of unfriending considering I have 2,334 friends, family and business associates in my network.

I choose to believe most of us got through all the vitriol in one piece. Hopefully, we can enjoy each other’s company a bit more now.

At least until the next election.

Alternate Politics

Five Takeaways From Election 2012

It’s no surprise to see my friends’ reactions on Facebook, Twitter and elsewhere. Obama supporters are elated; Romney supporters are bitter.

One person lamented that “things will never be OK again!”

Mood music:

[spotify:track:5Qy0zLjQy3czoj0yZ7DFkk]

I feel for those who wanted a different outcome. This election season was particularly heated among friends and family. I saw a lot of relationships tested and damaged. Some were accused of hate speech, bigotry and conspiracy-spinning. That certainly happened in spots. It always does in an election cycle.

But most people simply have beliefs that permeate their souls. They want the best for those around them and personal experience has molded their beliefs on how to get there. They may be right or wrong, but their hearts are in the right place.

There is nothing cynical about that.

Some suggestions for those hurting from the Election 2012 hangover:

  • Don’t waste your time spinning conspiracy theories about the election being stolen from your candidate or the winner having some hidden evil scheme to destroy America. Even in the post 9/11 world, a president’s power to do the things that scare you are limited. We have divided government, something the Founding Fathers built into the system to prevent the consolidation of power in one place. Spinning conspiracy theories won’t do you any good, anyway. It’ll just make you sick.
  • If your candidate won, don’t be an asshole about it. Romney isn’t evil and never was. He just has a different set of beliefs than you do. The shittiest part of this election has been the name-calling. The notion that your friends are subhuman and stupid because they voted differently from you is sad and selfish.  When you see the Romney supporters in your life this morning, give them a pat on the back and buy them a cup of coffee. Don’t rub salt in their wound.
  • If your candidate lost, calling the other side idiots, shitheads and the other names I’ve seen this morning will not make you feel better. You’ll feel worse and look petty and spiteful.
  • Remember that any meaningful, good change in your life starts with you, not the people that get elected. One of my Facebook friends, David Black, put it best when he said, “Whoever is elected president has little to do with how I live my daily life. We have our families, our friends, and our health. What more do we really need? Be of good cheer; this too will pass.” Amen, brother.
  • As an extension of that last point, do the things that will help your community more than any national or state election result ever could: Volunteer to mentor students. Help your friends and families earn a living by helping out with some household task or watching their kids when school is canceled. Drive your elderly neighbor around so they can do their errands and get to doctors’ appointments. Those things that are personal and seem so insignificant in the big picture make the difference for people. Of course, most of you already know that and already do these things. Thanks for all you do.

When I was a young, idealistic punk, I didn’t get a lot of these things. Indeed, I still have plenty of room for improvement. But I’m hopefully a bit wiser.

Blessings to you all.

Obama and Romney