Ireland’s Gay Marriage Vote Was Inevitable

Some on social media are surprised Ireland voted so overwhelmingly to legalize gay marriage. One reason may be because Ireland is so predominantly Catholic, and Catholic doctrine says homosexuality is wrong.

As an American Catholic, I think the vote went as it did because more and more Catholics are thinking as I do on this subject.

Mood music:

My conscience tells me that government has absolutely no business defining what marriage — and, more to the point, love — should be about. The Catholic Church believes it should define what marriage is and the government should support that. I don’t agree with that, either.

I accept the Church’s opinion on gay marriage. I’m part of a union between one man and one woman, just as the Church wants it. But that’s my belief system. I don’t believe in imposing a lifestyle on other people.

There’s this notion that a person wakes up one day and decides being gay is a great lifestyle choice. All the people I’ve known over the years who fought against and hid their sexuality have shown me that’s bullshit. They didn’t get a choice. When they denied who they were, they became slaves to shame, escaping through false personas, drugs, and suicide.

For more on my take on homosexuality, see:
Gay Haters or Just Idiots?
Racists AND Idiots
Depression and Being Gay
One More Thing About Being Depressed and Gay …

No one should be forced to live a lie because of stigmas set down by church and government. No one should be told who and how to love.

I think, quite simply, that there are a lot of people in Ireland — globally, really, — who have had similar experiences with this issue.

So count me among those who are thrilled with the Irish vote.

The marriage equality symbol, with a Black Flag twist
The marriage equality symbol, with a Black Flag twist.

Why This Catholic Supports Marriage Equality

Yesterday many friends changed their Facebook profile pics to a red box with two horizontal lines in the center in support of marriage equality. I did as well, though I was more punk rock about it, selecting a red box with four vertical lines (the logo for the band Black Flag).

Mood music:

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I doubt all this online activism will influence the US Supreme Court’s decision on same-sex marriage. The justices march to their own drummer. They get to serve for life, free of the political pressure that comes with standing for election. But that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we all follow our conscience. Mine tells me that the government has absolutely no business defining what marriage — and, more to the point, love — should be about.

That’s at odds with the beliefs of the Catholic Church and I am a devout Catholic. So why go against my church?

For starters, going against the church does not mean going against your faith. I believe Jesus Christ died for my sins and that I owe it to Him to earn that salvation. I haven’t yet. Not even close. But it’s what I strive for. As for Christ’s teachings, the thing that always sticks with me is that we’re all sinners and have no business judging others when our own hands are dirty.

I’ve long believed that the old men who set the rules in the Holy See are wrong about how they approach homosexuality. There’s this notion that a person wakes up one day and decides being gay is a great lifestyle choice. All the people I’ve known over the years who fought against and hid their sexuality have shown me that’s bullshit. They didn’t get a choice. Then they were slaves to shame, escaping through false personas, drugs, and suicide.

Those I’ve known could only live and be a blessing to those around them once they came clean. I’ve seen a lot of friends and family come clean and lead beautiful lives, and I love them dearly for it.

For more on my take on homosexuality, see:

Gay Haters Or Just Idiots?

Racists AND Idiots

Depression and Being Gay

One More Thing About Being Depressed and Gay…

My religious beliefs are beside the point, though.

This country is supposed to have a separation between church and state, and that’s for good reason. We’re a nation of many faiths, and we all deserve the freedom to worship God — or to not — as we see fit. If two people love each other and are law-abiding citizens who pay their taxes, the government has absolutely no business making judgments on how such love should be defined. Love is love. If two people of the same sex choose to keep house together, they should be entitled to the same rights straight couples enjoy.

Feel free to disagree.

Marriage equality, punk rock style

Chick-fil-A Controversy: Free Speech or Corporate Irresponsibility?

Let’s take a short quiz: The controversy over Chick-fil-A’s president opposing gay marriage is a matter of:

  1. First Amendment rights
  2. Corporate irresponsibility
  3. Both
  4. None of the above

Mood music:

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If you ask me, the answer is either C and D, depending on your political and social sensibilities.

Yesterday I wrote that I don’t really care about the controversy because I don’t eat at Chick-fil-A and the story looked more like one of political grandstanding than squashed rights. Naturally, some of my friends and readers thought I was missing the point. Said one friend:

Two mayors threatened to deny [Chick-fil-A] licenses. It’s a 1st Amendment issue. Plus, it was Dan Cathy’s personal views. Threatening the company that employs him is thuggery.

Said another friend:

FYI – The Cathy family *owns* CFA – not just an employee. The 1st Amendment only applies to gov’t reprisal for speech. Not private action.

To that, the first friend noted that the reprisals were from Boston mayor Thomas Menino, Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel, and NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn.

And on the Twitter discussion went.

Is this about First Amendment rights? Sure. Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy is an American, and as such he has every right to share his beliefs without fear of government reprisal. True, the mayors of Boston and Chicago joined some other politicians in telling Chick-fil-A to get off their lawns, but to me that was nothing more than grandstanding to score a few points with voters. They can threaten to evict, but in the end we all know they can’t do that.

The mayors deserve big ugly dunce caps for their tough talk. They shouldn’t have threatened at all because they can’t follow through, nor should they be able to. It restricts freedoms.

This is also about the right of Americans to support or protest a corporation based on the political views coming from its CEOs, presidents and other leaders. That’s not thuggery; it’s freedom of expression. I don’t like people shoving their views in my face, but they still have the right to express themselves, whether they’re standing outside with protest signs or standing in line in a show of support.

Is this about corporate responsibility? Perhaps. Consumers have the right to hold companies to high standards and punish them with boycotts when they feel a line has been crossed. But while some see Cathy’s opining as an irresponsible smear against gays, others see it as a courageous stand. There is no black and white here.

To me corporate responsibility is more about the quality of the product, the treatment of the customer and honest bookkeeping, however. That’s my opinion. Feel free to disagree.

There’s another aspect worth considering, which Erin (wife of Bill and managing editor of this blog) brought up. In her words:

If the CEO is open about being against gay marriage, how much of his belief is part of the corporate culture? Are gays hired at CFA, from the highest to the lowest? Are they treated equally? Are there regular gay customers of CFA who are not treated equally? The CEO can believe what he likes and espouse it, but he can’t allow his company to discriminate based on his beliefs. Not blatantly, not subtly. And maybe that’s the real danger of a powerful person espousing his discriminatory beliefs so openly: there are those who will take it as license to discriminate accordingly, whether to please the boss or because they feel safe to act on their own beliefs.

In the final analysis, my feelings are still summed up by this comment, made by another friend on Facebook:

Dammit people, what’s wrong with you? Eat where you want to eat! Love who you want to love! Do whatever you want to do, just don’t expect everyone else to necessarily agree with you, share your views, or hate your enemies. Live life and stop worrying about who the hell ate yummy chicken today!

With that, it’s on to the next subject.

I'm Just Here for the Violence

I Don’t Give a Chick-fil-A

A lot of people have been pissed off at Chick-fil-A lately. Some are outraged that the restaurant chain’s president, Dan Cathy, came out against gay marriage. Others are outraged because a guy can’t make a social stand without people taking it out on his poultry.

I wasn’t going to write about it because, well, I don’t really care. But the noise has gotten too loud to ignore.

Mood music:

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We Americans love to find things to be pissed about. If you support gay marriage, Chick-fil-A is now synonymous with bigotry. If you think marriage should only be between a man and woman, Dan Cathy is now a hero. If you’re like me and you don’t really care, you’re now pissed off at both sides for getting in your face with their politics.

I don’t care what Cathy believes for a couple of reasons:

  • I’ve never eaten at Chick-fil-A and don’t really care to. Fast food is the monkey on my back, and I’m better off staying far away from it. Since I lack the enthusiasm others seem to have for the place, I find it difficult to care what the chain’s president thinks about the issues of the day. If I were a Chick-fil-A enthusiast, I’d care a lot more about the taste of the food than the politics of the owners.
  • I’ve already taken my stand regarding homosexuality and have nothing more to say about it. I don’t care if you’re gay or straight. I care about how you treat your fellow man and woman, not who you choose to love.

But now people are really starting to get crazy over it, with name-calling and scapegoating. So here I am with a couple thoughts:

  • If you choose to boycott Chick-fil-A, go for it. But don’t expect everyone to follow suit, and please don’t paint people as villains because they eat there. You’ve never met most of these people, and you have no idea what they feel in their hearts.
  • If you don’t want to boycott, don’t. But don’t start bashing people for taking their stand. Just walk past the protesters, eat your sandwich and shut up.

One’s political and religious beliefs are complicated things. You can’t unlock what a person thinks and feels based on where they eat.

It’s also a safe bet that a lot of people standing in line for their chicken don’t follow news and politics that closely and have no idea the chain’s president said something about gay marriage.

Sometimes, a person is just hungry and needs something to eat, pure and simple. They’re not going to appreciate or understand your support of or protests against Chick-fil-A and, by extension, gay marriage.

They’re just going to be pissed because you’re holding up the line.

Chick-fil-A