Update: The details below reflect a change in schedule and location for the candlelight vigil. The change is apparently due to another event happening at Haverhill Stadium at the time Mike’s vigil was originally scheduled.
A quick update on the passing of Mike Nicoloro: A candlelight vigil will be held for him Monday, 6-9 p.m. at Plugs Pond in Haverhill. This event is free. Folks are asked to bring candles and happy faces to remember him. Anyone with photos should bring them, also. *NO BALLOONS DUE TO LATEX ALLERGIES*
A family member of Mike’s told me his funeral service will be Tuesday at 11 a.m. at the Riverview Cemetery in Groveland.
I’m sad to report that the man known around Haverhill as “Crazy Mike” has died. He was found in some bushes along the Main Street side of Pentucket Bank’s Merrimack Street branch Monday morning.
Police aren’t confirming his identity pending an investigation, but yesterday I touched base with his brother, who confirmed it was him.
Mood music:
I connected with his brother on Facebook a couple years ago, after I wrote some posts criticizing some fellow Haverhill residents for making fun of a mentally ill man. People called him Crazy Mike because as he wandered the streets, he was given to outbursts. But few truly understood or knew him beyond that. Some jerks created a Facebook page dedicated to making fun of the man, whose real name was Michael Nicoloro.
Fortunately, it was taken down after a wave of complaints.
There’s been a lot of debate and speculation regarding Mike’s mental state and how he got that way. Some say it was from his experiences while serving in Vietnam. Others claimed that he’s not a veteran and that he simply chose to live the way he did.
His relatives have confirmed that he was in Vietnam and that he came back with the scars of war. I’m more inclined to believe his relatives than some of the jerks who have written me to dispute the history.
Mike was mentally ill. Regardless of how he got that way, it was sad to see people make fun of him.
In fairness, I think the jerks were a minority. I’ve gotten an avalanche of comments from readers since I started writing about him, and the vast majority of them defended Mike. This one is a good example:
RIP Michael… Thank you for your military service to our country. It’s a shame you were so misunderstood. It’s a shame so many ignorant people know nothing of mental illness. Walk a mile in his shoes folks. Yes he frightened some people but he could not help himself. He was ill. I hope none of you who judge him so harshly ever have to know the confusion, fear & scorn he must have felt all these years. He joined the military a handsome intelligent sane young man & returned a different man. Mental illness is thought to be a biochemical imbalance that causes structural & electrical changes in the brain. Extreme stress can trigger it or contribute to its severity. Why is it so hard for people to empathize?
In announcing Mike’s death, his brother posted a photo on Facebook that should put questions about the man’s military service to rest. It shows a young, strong man in uniform with a look of determination.
My kids participated in a Christmas Eve pageant at our church, and a highlight for me was one girl’s performance of the song, “Mary Did You Know.”
The young lady’s performance made my neck hairs stand up. I saw her sing it twice: Christmas Eve, and at a rehearsal the night before.
During the Christmas Eve performance, she sang a bit too high toward the end. She still sounded awesome. But she was pretty upset.
As someone whose work involves a lot of getting up in front of people — in writing and in person — I wanted to share a few thoughts.
First, some background:
I’m a pretty public guy. I write this blog and two others as part of my work life. As part of my work, I frequently do public presentations. I’m also a lector at church.
I used to be terrified of getting up in front of people. The thought of doing such a thing used to make me sick. My anxiety level would go into high orbit. It was part of a larger struggle with fear and anxiety.
I eventually decided to face down that fear and, now that I have a lot of experience, public engagement doesn’t make me nervous anymore.
Given that background, I have enormous respect for those who get up in front of a big crowd. Especially singers.
I know what it’s like to bomb in front of people, and let me tell you something: You didn’t bomb. You didn’t even come close. I know what it’s like to truly bomb.
I once gave a talk to a room full of hard-nosed security professionals and they didn’t buy what I was saying. That was pretty awkward. (Rather than repeat that story here, you can read it about it in another blog if you wish.)
I sang in a rock band when I was younger, and we did a few performances along the way. Some went really well. But the most important performance we had up to that point was a complete bomb. We were out of tune at the opening, and it threw us off for most of the performance.
I’ve enjoyed success as a writer, but I’ve also written stuff that in hindsight makes me cringe.
As a lector, I’ve messed up many times. Since we go to the same church, you might have seen it happen. I’ve mispronounced names of the sick and dead, and once bungled narrating Christ’s Passion so badly I thought I’d be banned from ever lectoring again.
Despite all that, I’ve been able to keep doing it all, mostly without incident. And in most cases, people don’t notice or remember the mistakes. And yes, the mistakes still happen.
Nobody is going to remember that you went up an octave or two too high.
People will remember that you threw your heart and soul into the performance.
They’ll remember that you had the guts to get up in front of them and perform. Many are too afraid to do such a thing, and see it as a courageous act.
They’ll look forward to seeing you perform again. I certainly will.
Keep singing and performing. Know that you will screw up from time to time, and that it’s ok.
You’ll learn from those experiences.
Thanks for the beautiful singing, and Merry Christmas to you and your family.
A couple years ago I wrote some posts criticizing fellow Haverhill residents for making fun of a mentally ill man — Crazy Mike, as he is unfortunately known.
Some jerks created a Facebook page dedicated to making fun of the man, whose real name is Michael Nicoloro, which was taken down after a wave of complaints.
Mood Music:
There’s been a lot of debate and speculation regarding Mike’s mental state and how he got that way, some saying it was from his experiences while serving in Vietnam. Others claimed that he’s not in fact a veteran and that he simply chooses to live the way he does.
Most recently, many have speculated that Mike had died.
I knew something was up when traffic for my posts about him shot through the ceiling.
I got in touch with members of his family, and his apparent death was news to them.
Despite any official obituary or other confirmation, the rumors persisted.
With that came more comments to my personal email about how I was an asshole for defending him and buying into the so-called lie that he was a veteran mentally scarred by what he saw.
Whether or not he’s a veteran is beside the point, but more on that in a second.
A trusted source told me he saw Mike this week in Central Square. He’s perfectly alive, so the death rumors can stop now.
My source believes Mike was off getting a 90-day evaluation. Whether that’s true or what for I don’t know.
Now, back to all the trash talk about his military status:
His relatives have confirmed that he was in Vietnam and that he came back with the scars of war. I’m more inclined to believe his relatives.
But as I said, it’s beside the point.
He’s mentally ill. Regardless of how he got that way, people have to be jerks to make fun of him.
We all have some baggage weighing down our souls. But instead of addressing our own issues, we judge other people.
Can an encounter with Mike be unsettling? Sure. Should he be kept off the streets? Not unless he has broken the law or hurt someone. I know of no evidence that he’s done that.
I do know for a fact that people have gone out of their way to bully him and set him off.
