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New OCD Diaries Playlist on Spotify

Some readers have asked why I put mood music in my posts and how I go about choosing the daily selection.

I use them because in my mind, music and writing go hand in hand. I used to require absolute silence in the room to do my writing. Now I can’t write without some noise.

Some days, the music will fit the theme of what I’m writing about that day. Other times I use music that has nothing to do with the subject matter. I put it on there simply because I’m digging the song that morning.

I also like to use this forum to promote local musicians I admire.

I do consider the music to be a soundtrack for the blog. I also like to use the blog as a music player while I work. I’ll open the blog and just play all the mood music selections of the past weeks.

The music is mostly the metal I grew up with and love to this day, but not always. I also mix in non-metal acts like The Decemberists, The Avett Brothers, The Beatles and U2.

Life is full of ups and downs, and this blog is all about how I confront it. Why not have a soundtrack to go with it?

For those who just want to hear the music, I’ve created a playlist on Spotify. There are currently 54 songs — 4 hours’ worth — though I plan to keep adding to it. I’ll also start creating specialized playlists for different moods and topics.

You can find and subscribe to it here. (Free account required.)

Playlist. The OCD Diaries: Mood Music . A selection of songs used as mood music in various posts in The OCD Diaries: https://theocddiaries.com/. Created by Bill Brenner. 54 songs, 4 hours, 3 minutes
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COVID-19 Gratitude: Live Online Performances

One thing I’m grateful for amid this pandemic: musicians and bands doing free performances from their remote locations. Check out my favorites so far.

Dave Grohl: “My Hero”

The Rolling Stones: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

Samantha Fish: Facebook Live Fridays:

https://www.facebook.com/samanthafishmusic/videos/574754296727437/

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: “I Hate Myself for Loving You”

https://youtu.be/_O6w418sL6U

Paul Stanley talks “Love Gun” & More:

Sully Erna: “Hometown Sessions:

Eddie Vedder: “River Cross”

Billie Joe Armstrong: “Wake Me Up When September Ends”

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Tales from the Womb

For a few years in the late 1980s and early 1990s, it was one of my favorite places on Earth. My late friend Sean Marley built the room in his basement, a couple doors down from my house. If we weren’t in my basement, we were in his.

Mood music:

https://youtu.be/QcVS4Kpdn0E

Sean called it The Womb because he likened the peace one felt in there to being back in the womb. It was a fairly accurate description.

There was always a smell of incense. There was a phone made in the likeness of Opus from the “Bloom County” comic strip. There was the wood-burning stove, a huge amp and a black Carvin guitar — probably one of the heaviest guitars I ever held. There were books of all sorts and there was usually alcohol nearby.

It’s where he taught me to use a bong made from a Windex bottle and introduced me to a lot of the music I love today: Thin Lizzy, T. Rex, Ministry, Soundgarden, King Diamond, Nine Inch Nails. He also introduced me to some stuff I wasn’t as crazy about, like Skinny Puppy.

Sean and I would talk for hours down there, just the two of us much of the time but frequently with an assortment of friends, too. I met people there who became dear friends and remain so today. We talked about philosophy, religion, politics, history. It was the most comfortable classroom I ever knew. And Sean was a great teacher.

Thanks to Dan for sharing this photo. It brings back a lot of great memories.

Bill Brenner and Sean Marley in the Womb

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Metal Made Me Smarter Than I Appeared

I was never considered a particularly smart kid. I didn’t care much about my school work and was written off by some teachers as a waste of space. But according to a new study about smart kids listening to heavy metal, I was apparently just pretending to be stupid.

Mood music:

A study of more than 1,000 of the brightest five percent of young people found that intelligent teenagers often listen to heavy metal music to cope with the pressures associated with being talented.

Stuart Cadwallader, a psychologist at the University of Warwick, presented recently findings. The research found that, far from being a sign of delinquency and poor academic ability, many adolescent metalheads are super bright and often use the music to help them deal with pressure.

Researchers polled 1,057 members of the National Academy for Gifted and Talented Youth. Asked for their favorite type of music, 39 percent said rock, 18 percent R&B and 14 percent pop. Six percent said metal and a third rated it in their top five genres. Metal fans acknowledged having lower self-esteem and more trouble with family and friendships.

As part of the study, Cadwallader held an online discussion with 19 academy members, 17 of whom were metal fans. They said they listen to bands like System of a Down, Slipknot, Tool, DragonForce, ¡Forward Russia! and In Flames when they’re in a bad mood and use it to vent frustration and anger.

Now, truth be told, I wouldn’t say I was particularly smart as a kid. But I did have talents, including drawing and writing. I also had a ton of trouble relating to my peers and getting along with family. The music absolutely helped me. At the least, it gave me an outlet for my anger that might have otherwise been spent punching people in the face.

I’m always happy to see studies like this, because it shows I’m not alone and never have been.

Double-neck guitars

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Rock and Metal Christmas Songs

I dislike most rock ‘n roll Christmas songs. The Kinks asking Father Christmas for money? Not a fan. Billy Squier singing that Christmas is a time to say I love you? Hate it.

I love those artists, just not those songs. Though I’m a heavy metal fan, I have to admit Christmas songs of that genre aren’t much better.

But occasionally, rock and metal musicians manage to pull off something special — songs done so magically that I play them repeatedly this time of year. Allow me to share some favorites.

First, a classic from Ronnie James Dio and Tony Iommi that makes the neck hair rise.

John Sykes, who has been in Whitesnake and Thin Lizzy, among others, does a great instrumental version of the same song.

http://youtu.be/JyjRDUe4-8E

Rob Halford, legendary vocalist for Judas Priest, put out a whole album themed for the season, including this gem.

One of my favorite guitarists, Zakk Wylde (Ozzy Osbourne band, Black Label Society), does a searing acoustic version of “The First Noel.”

http://youtu.be/EtvVP1u9RfE

Finally, here’s a great rendition of “Silent Night” played by Brian May during a 1979 Queen concert.

Merry Christmas!

Eddie

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On My Sixth Birthday, the Ramones Changed Everything

I’m tickled to discover that my birthday is a special day to The Ramones, too. Turns out, yesterday was also the 37th anniversary of the band’s debut album. They were always an important band for me, especially after I learned that Joey Ramone was a fellow OCD sufferer.

Mood music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7PEzQQYWag

I owned multiple Ramones albums on vinyl, and wore them out from playing them so much. A favorite was Halfway to Sanity. Back then I knew nothing about my own OCD, let alone Joey Ramone’s. I just loved that the songs were loud and simple and that the band members were ugly like me. But looking back, they were the ideal personification of OCD. Their songs revolved around simple chord progressions with a lot of repetition. Repetition fits the OCD mind like a glove.

I skipped my senior prom and attempted to get into a Ramones show at The Channel in Boston. I didn’t have a date anyhow and getting kicked in the stomach by punk rock was more appealing than dancing to Bon Jovi.

Also noteworthy: There was a time before Erin and I started dating that she was driving behind me on the way home from Salem State one day, and I noted she was bopping her head up and down and back and forth. It turns out she was listening to The Ramones. I believe it was “All the Hits and More” she had in the tape deck. The strawberry-blond hair flailing around was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

When I was researching famous people who shared my mental disorder and I saw Joey on the list, his status as one of my all-time heroes was cemented. That someone with OCD could stand in front of a raging crowd of punk rockers every night floored me. By the time he died in 2001, he had amassed a body of work that will inspire people forever.

When someone thinks they’re doomed to a less-than-wonderful life because they have a mental illness or physical defect, just look at what Joey Ramone did. Then try to tell me you can’t soar above the things that seem like limitations.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go listen to the first Ramones album — repeatedly, obsessively and unapologetically.

The Ramones

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Black Sabbath and the Sick Bed

Wherein the author stays still and rocks out.

Only a week into the new job, I got blasted with the stomach bug from Hell. It started coming on Monday night and kept me up all night and in bed all day Tuesday. Those who know me will tell you I get up before 5 a.m. and am usually working by 6. To spend a whole day in bed is unthinkable.

Yet that’s what I did. The bed and then the couch. And I had the company of Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler, three of the four original members of Black Sabbath.

Mood music:

They just released their first album together since 1978. The whole thing is available for free on Spotify, so I figured why not? I wasn’t going to be able to do anything else.

Wow. They really nailed it. Made being sick a little less frustrating. That’s what music does for me, helps me cope with life’s unpleasantries.

When I listen to a new album from an old band, I always start thinking about the musicians’ back stories. Ozzy’s battles with drugs and booze are legendary at this point, and Iommi just spent a year fighting cancer. I recently read a Guitar World interview with him on the subject. His diagnosis came after he found a lump in his groin. The timing was typical: He said he had been having one of the best years of his life, with Sabbath gearing up to make a new album. Treatment was hard, but he kept going. He put his pain into riffs for the new album, and let me tell you, those riffs are ferocious.

People don’t always think of this particular power of music: The musician goes through illness and other adversity and uses the songwriting process as therapy. The music then gets listened to by a guy thousands of miles away whose stuck in bed for the day.

It’s a poetic cause and effect.

As I write this I’m sitting up in a chair. Not yet fully over the bug, but the music has given me a nice shot of energy and allowed me to get something useful done.

In fact, I’m going to go play my guitar. I can’t riff like Iommi can, but it’ll feel good all the same.

Black Sabbath 13

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Review: Pop Gun’s “American Soul”

Music is one of my main coping tools, and I’ve latched on to a new CD from some old friends that I know will get me through the stresses of a new job and the slow commute that goes with it.

I’ve already determined that Pop Gun’s American Soul is an excellent soundtrack for ensuring the painful wind from the Longfellow Bridge across Storrow Drive and onto I-93. I could swear at the drivers around me and bang my fist on the steering wheel. Instead, I’m listening to Pop Gun.

Mood music:

(Disclosure: I know these guys well. I worked with drummer Greg Walsh at a small weekly newspaper nearly 20 years ago. In more recent years, I’ve gotten to know bassist-vocalist Harry Zarkades and guitarist-fellow Hillie James Melanson.)

I’ve had Pop Gun’s Trigger CD for a long time and have my favorites for sure, but American Soul has a depth and weight that comes with the 20 years of life experiences these guys have had since the songs for that first CD was written.

My favorite track is “Love and Wine,” written and vocalized by former guitarist Bruce Allen, who recently moved to Colorado. (Harry Sabean replaced Allen.) It’s a song full of light and fresh air, especially when Allen sings, “The sun will shine, and love is a vine that we’ll tend together.” When he sings that love is like wine, “sweet when it’s young and it only gets better,” it resonates with me after nearly 15 years of marriage.

“Bitter Heart” is another favorite. Melanson sings this one, and the mix of melody and crunchy riffs remind me of some of Boston’s classic bands, like The Cars and Aerosmith, with a bit of The Neighborhoods mixed in for good measure. His vocals are a smooth contrast to Zarkades’s more serrated tone. That’s one of the things that makes this album work for me: the vocal variety in the songs.

Erin and I attended Pop Gun’s record-release concert last week and the new tunes passed the critical test of scoring direct punches live.

If you’re a fan of Boston rock, this CD carries on the rich tradition that makes me proud to call this place home.

Buy American Soul. You won’t regret it. The best place to order one is the Pop Gun Facebook page. The guys will get back to you in short order.

For locals, you can pick up the disc at The Record Exchange in Salem, MA, and Dyno Records in Newburyport, MA.

Pop Gun
Photo by Melanie Carr

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Is It Better That They Died?

A conversation with friends last night about Ray Manzarek’s death led to talk about Jim Morrison and other musicians who died young. The question we asked aloud was what would Morrison, Kurt Cobain and others have done with their music had they been afforded longer lives?

Mood music:

[spotify:track:5FlBGGwGuqYmqr0qeBWrxe]

Would John Bonham still be producing those menacing drum sounds? Would Randy Rhoads be blessing us with rock infused with classical as he had desired at the time of his death?

It’s possible. But it’s also possible they all would have gone on to write and record music their hardcore fans would consider lame.

I picture Morrison, old and balding, jumping up and down in an MTV video and singing “Su-Su-Sussudio!” Or Cobain singing country songs. Or Rhoads doing a bunch of watered-down, keyboard-infused music with horn sections and such.

Maybe that was God’s plan, to pluck these guys from Earth while they were still in their musical prime, before they could make music that would alienate their most dedicated fans.

It’s an interesting thing to ponder, though in all seriousness I wouldn’t have been upset had they all lived and made radical departures from the music that made them famous. Even if you don’t like someone’s newer art as much as their older art, it would still be comforting to see them alive and well, experimenting and trying to to expand their musical horizons.

Not that any of that matters. They died young, and that’s the way it is.

Thank God they got to leave behind some music before they were called home. That music has gotten me through a lot of adversity. It’s gotten a lot of people through the rough patches.

You could say that they didn’t have to stick around because they had already done what they came to do.

Dead rock stars

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A New Addiction Takes Hold

During my vacation this week, I’ve been playing a lot of guitar. I picked the instrument back up over the summer after a 20-year break, and I haven’t looked back. My addictive personality has latched onto it like a starving lamprey. But it may be one of the best outlets I’ve ever had for calming the mind.

Mood music:

[spotify:track:56oTnXlr7xFw2lmoi3g0o3]

I now own two electric guitars and an acoustic. I’ve acquired a Marshall amp and a multi-effects pedal. Sean calls me a guitar hoarder.

I’ve been taking guitar lessons, and my instructor has taught me songs like Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love,” the Kinks’ “You Really Got Me” and Van Halen’s “Ain’t Talkin ‘Bout Love.” I learned a few on my own, too: “Foolin'” and “Hysteria” from Def Leppard, “Rock You Like a Hurricane” from The Scorpions and several Black Sabbath riffs.

I’ve also been putting together chords that sound good to me, which will lead to some songwriting of my own in short order.

I’ve learned a lot of mindfulness techniques in recent months, and all have helped. But the guitar playing is the tool I don’t have to throw a lot of concentration into. The action itself soothes.

Binge eating used to soothe me, but only for the first few minutes. Then shame followed. Smoking was soothing, but it smelled terrible and was making me a time bomb for cancer. The e-cigs — vaping, as it’s now called — help, but the idea is to eventually stop that habit, too. It’s a temporary crutch.

Read more about what the addictive process is like in “Anatomy of a Binge.”

The guitar sustains me for much longer, without the shameful, smelly byproducts.

It’s an addiction I think I can live with.

Bill's guitars