ocd

Teething Trouble

by Bill Brenner June 5, 2013 Mental health

I’ve just started the new job and am happy as hell to be here. I’m finding I’ll fit right in. But when a person is a couple days into a new job, there’s usually an unsettled feeling. In my case, the challenge is not to be an asshole about it. Mood music: I’m not sure I’m having much success there, particularly at home, where I’m told I’ve been cranky and snippy and in OCD overdrive….  [Read More]

I Was Interviewed Again

by Bill Brenner May 14, 2013 Mental disorders

This time, I was interviewed for a story about how mental illness can actually make people stronger in their jobs. Check it out on Forbes.com.  

The Burden of Being Upright

by Bill Brenner May 13, 2013 Compulsive behaviors

A couple facts about the last few months: I made it through the winter more mentally intact than I have in a long time. I also went through a lot of uncertainty over the future of my career, which exhausted me enough to behave in spring as I normally do in winter: scattered, aloof and depressed. Things have actually turned out well. I got the job I coveted the most after fielding a couple other…  [Read More]

The Worst Abuse of All

by Bill Brenner April 8, 2013 Fear and anxiety

I’m taking a lot of abuse lately, the kind that leaves me mentally tired and physically aching. It’s not abuse from family, work colleagues or law enforcement, however. I’m doing it to myself. Mood music: [spotify:track:4emCyQ2KnNU16c02l4ToPP] In the past, I’d binge myself sick in times of uncertainty, but these days the abuse takes other forms: I allow myself to get lost in the deep weeds of worry. The kicker is that I’m not worried about…  [Read More]

Control Freak-Out

by Bill Brenner April 5, 2013 Mental disorders

OCD sometimes makes me feel adrift even when things are going well. I’m feeling it a lot these days and this post, originally written in 2010, captures the malady well. Mood music: [spotify:track:44sz0rNbTA687rs9CYi0IN] There’s another byproduct of OCD that I’ve described indirectly before, but never head on. A byproduct for my own special blend of dysfunction, that is. Sometimes, no matter how well things are going — and no matter how good my mood is…  [Read More]

This Time, Anxiety Won

by Bill Brenner February 23, 2013 Fear and anxiety

A confession: This past week, I’ve done a miserable job using my many coping tools to manage OCD and anxiety. What makes this particularly sinister is that I’ve just finished a week of vacation with the kids. Mood music: [spotify:track:5sSXTZeLV25Byz0ryxoc4O] Everything I’ve told you in past posts about learning to enjoy the precious present and not let worry take over is true. Weeks like this simply drive home the reality that I can never be…  [Read More]

My ADD Ran Over My OCD

by Bill Brenner December 19, 2012 Mental health

As I struggle to get through all the stuff to be done at work and home before Christmas, something is occurring to me: My ADD runs over my OCD this time of year. Mood music: [spotify:track:5mR858YsHYG761aUqZoGkD] I guess I’ve understood what happens for a while now. It’s all part of the seasonal depression that whacks me upside the head come Christmastime. For most of the year my challenge is to control my OCD, to keep…  [Read More]

Me, Duncan and December-itis

by Bill Brenner December 11, 2012 Mental health

I’ve had a lot to say lately about my own efforts to manage winter’s depressive effect on my brain, but this is also a challenging month for my younger son, Duncan. Mood music: [spotify:track:7BeOWHtwV9IQ7jmqwwvvLP] I’ve written at length about Duncan and my struggle to help him when his ADHD comes crashing into my OCD. I’m proud of who he’s becoming. But no matter how much progress father and son make on our mental health, December may…  [Read More]

THE OCD DIARIES, Three Years Later

by Bill Brenner December 7, 2012 Adventures in writing

Three years ago today, in a moment of Christmas-induced depression, I started this blog. I meant for it to be a place where I could go and spill out the insanity in my head so I could carry on with life. In short order, it snowballed into much more than that. Mood music: [spotify:track:2o3ZNeSBuMEt7e3zZbTLk9] About a year into my recovery from serious mental illness and addiction — the most uncool, unglamorous addiction at that — I started thinking about…  [Read More]

Another Christmas Season, Another Depression Diagnosis

by Bill Brenner December 3, 2012 Depression

Though I’ve made peace with the demons that left me hating Christmas for many years, I’m still easy prey for winter depression. Last week, after asking me lots of questions and taking lots of notes, my shrink told me what I already knew: I’m once again clinically depressed. Mood music: [spotify:track:0feXvJJWws7RDvC0kHfbLr] When most people hear the word depression, they immediately think of someone who is sad, anguished and afraid to leave the house. In the…  [Read More]

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