Out of Facebook F**ks to Give

When I look at some of the posts I wrote just a few years ago, I realize how much my outlook on a lot of things has changed, especially when it comes to Facebook. My opinions have evolved through my experiences since writing those posts. People who read those posts should see that a writer’s views can evolve and mature — or devolve.

Mood music:

Me and My Facebook Unfriend Finder
This post describes how I had installed a plug-in that would tell me who unfriended me. At the time I was obsessive over why people would do that.

My view now: I stopped paying attention to my friends number some time ago, partially because I got tired of worrying about what people found offensive. These days, everyone finds something offensive, and playing the “who unfriended me?” game got boring.

I also learned on more than one occasion that being friends with someone on Facebook doesn’t make them friends in real life. I’ve been to events where people I’m connected to online didn’t say two words to me in person. If it ain’t real, it ain’t worth fretting over.

Run Out of Town (Or Off Facebook, Twitter)
A friend whose quick typing fingers got her into trouble was ready to quit Facebook. In this post, I suggested that she shouldn’t quit Facebook because none of us are perfect. Then I offered advice on how she could get along better.

My view now: I used to think that I could help people form healthier habits. But you can’t change people who don’t want to change. Mostly, you have to hope people learn and evolve on their own. The person I wrote about in that post still engages in bomb throwing online, and she has a loyal audience. I didn’t unfriend her. I just ignore her.

Research It Before You Share
People pass on all sorts of content without stopping to find out whether it’s true or not. It’s good to let people know when they’re being gullible, kind of like a public service announcement. I don’t regret writing this one. Having said that …

My view now: I’ve realized that people will never stop posting memes or statements without checking their facts first, especially when they fit their preconceived ideas. People have taken their politics on Facebook to lunacy levels, and if I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that you can’t reason with crazy.

Don’t Let Politics Kill Friendships
Political arguments on Facebook can damage or kill friendships. I’m sorry when my actions have caused that to happened with my friends.

My view now: I still believe I should be respectful in an argument. But if a friendship can’t survive political arguments, it wasn’t a very strong friendship to begin with. That’s especially true if the argument is with someone you only communicate with on Facebook. In this case, the friend in question was a friend long before Facebook came along. And we get along just fine today.

A Message from the ‘Obsessive Poster’
Someone called me an obsessive poster, and I took the opportunity to defend myself.

My view now: The guy was right. I was posting far too much. I don’t post nearly as much now. Back then, there was an OCD component to my posts. I was obsessive about getting my words to the masses. I was also inexperienced in the art of self-promotion and distribution. I’ve learned along the way that less is more.

Meme: I don't need to fact-check this meme because I agree with it.

So You Wanna Blog About Your Demons

Quite a few people are starting to share stories about their mental health challenges and other demons. Some ponder if they should start blogging about it. Having written such a blog for almost five years now, here’s my take.

Mood music:

If you feel you have reached the right point in your journey to start sharing, then do it. If nothing else, it will help you keep things in perspective. I always feel better after I’ve torn a few skeletons from my closet and tossed them to the light.

Once you expose them, they seem a lot smaller. Chances are you will also touch a few people who need to know they’re not alone; that they’re dealing with the stuff that makes us all human. They need to see proof that they are not freaks.

If you are still at the beginning of figuring out your issues and you’re in that confused state where you don’t know up from down, it might be better to start writing just for yourself. Fill notebooks but don’t share yet. Wait until you reach a point in recovery where you’re ready to come out. Then you can take what you wrote when emotions were still raw and put them out there along with fresh perspective of where you’ve been since then.

When I started this blog, I wanted to break stigmas and make people more comfortable outing their own demons. Not many people were doing it back then. Today, many are taking the leap. Whether I’ve influenced any of it is for others to determine. All I know is that I’m happy to see it.

Whatever you decide to do, know that I admire you and gain extra strength from the experiences you already share.

Godspeed and good luck.

skeleton closet dance