For a variety of reasons, I’m starting to wonder if it’s time to pull the pin on this grenade. There are good reasons to do so.
Mood music:
I started this blog to come clean about my demons and break all the stigmas attached to them. But I’m at the point where I’ve said about all I can say about it.
–The emotionally-scarring back story? Check.
–The story of how I used to be and how I got to where I am now? Check.
–The tools I use to keep addictions and depression at bay? You’ve read about it a million times.
–The adventures of living with OCD? Well, that is how this sucker got started.
Here’s the problem: No matter how good your intentions are, the more you keep writing about the past and the ticks you have as a result, the more you’re doomed to repeat all the mistakes and relive all the suffering. That’s what I worry will happen, anyway.
The other problem is that I’m in danger of being defined more by my demons than everything else. I’m in a better place than I used to be in, and I’ve learned and experienced a lot. But when you read a blog like this, it’s fair to wonder if I spend every waking moment obsessing about my disease and nothing else.
I don’t, actually. But I’ve formed an image to the contrary.
I’m not contemplating an end to personal blogging. I’m just thinking of tying a bow on this one, leaving it in cyberspace for people to read as needed, and start something else.
I want to be able to write about whatever I please without always having to tie it back into the OCD theme.
This blog was never just about that anyway.
This has been a blog about life, really: Learning to overcome all the challenges God throws at us. It’s been a much broader case study into human nature — mine and yours — than the title suggests.
I don’t intend to stop doing that. I’m just thinking of doing it differently.
It won’t happen overnight. But change is inevitable — as it should be.
Metamorphosis is always encouraging…looking forward to what becomes…
All I know is that you have helped me a great deal. I appreciate that and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I do agree that it is maybe time to say goodbye to the painful past. What I would love to read now is how you and your wonderful family are growing in spite of stresses, diagnoses,etc.
Also, I really enjoy reading your opinions on social issues, your interest in music, crimes (you know what I mean) and your ideas for progress.
Besides, I look forward to reading your blogs every day…if you don’t post a blog, I might end up playing those dumb games or even reading the news!!!! LOL
All I will say is that a blog like this is probably not doing you any favors. When you know a person for business purposes, you dont want to know about their psychological disorders. If you want an extension of our writing, great. But a blog titled like this makes people who know nothing about you have predisposed notions that there would be something off about you. That could be ignorance on their part, but why put something out there that is otherwise none of their business, when it shouldnt be an issue in dealing with you? Blogs like this have got people denied jobs and all. Ignorance? probably. But either way, how does a blog named for this subject otherwise help you? I cant see a single way it would unless you want to prove the ADA should apply to you.
I’m in a similar place, feeling like it’s time to expand my writing horizons. My first blog as about my breast cancer sally and when I was ready to expand, I started the new blog. It wasn’t long before my world imploded and my writing took a sharp turn. I’m a little gun shy about starting a third time. But I can’t grow if I don’t take the leap, right?
Bill, you can’t kill this blog. It has helped many people, me included. In fact, you should put this together as a book, and publish it more widely. If you do “kill it”, just stop writing. Leave it up for those of us who need reminders.