Bill Brenner

A Sober, Abstinent New Year’s Eve

by Bill Brenner January 1, 2011 Addiction

I used to revel in New Year’s Eve excess. I’d get blasted on vodka and “head-wreckers” in my Revere basement. I’d binge on Chinese food. I’d wake up promising God I’d never do that again, then I’d promptly break the promise. Last night I stayed sober and abstinent. The food was weighed out as usual. I drank coffee. The niece slept over. Erin introduced Sean to “Dr. Who.” Duncan read his cousin a bedtime story….  [Read More]

A Year in the Life

by Bill Brenner December 31, 2010 Addiction

This isn’t a post about New Years resolutions. I don’t need a holiday to make changes in my life. IT IS about lessons I’ve learned in an effort to make resolutions. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNUU8jHXLMg&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] There’s been plenty of unpleasant stuff this year. I’ve watched two marriages fall apart. We had a couple months where money was painfully tight. My recovery has never been easy. But that’s life. A big fistful of goodness slammed down on…  [Read More]

Binge, Pray, Whine

by Bill Brenner December 29, 2010 Addiction

I’ve never read the book “Eat, Pray, Love” and I haven’t seen the movie. I have nothing against it, it’s just that I have trouble with the “eat” part. Reading about that isn’t helpful to a recovering binge-eating addict. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cTJV3HK-Xs&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] My therapist actually brought up the book during one of our sessions. He wanted to know if I’d read it. I scowled at him and asked why the hell a guy like me…  [Read More]

From Confusion to Wisdom

by Bill Brenner December 26, 2010 Communication Skills

I’ve crashed many times while blasting down the road of life. The car is in one piece now and I’ve learned to throttle back some. And when I hear the following words of wisdom, I KNOW it’s the truth: Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agn4y-M1rjA&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] ACCEPTANCE ?”Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill someone else.” – Matt Baldwin, Snow Rising (thanks, Cheryl Snapp Conner, for pointing this one out. “People are like stained glass…  [Read More]

Done Eating by 3 p.m., Christmas Day

by Bill Brenner December 26, 2010 Addiction

It was a good Christmas for me, for more than all the usual reasons. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eFiNud6fbU&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] There was the usual joy: Being around family, getting the chance to lie around much more than usual, watching the kids go Christmas crazy. Mass was good, with a homily that pointed out that Jesus was as human as they come during his 33 years of living as a mere mortal. He got scared, angry, enjoyed friendship, passed…  [Read More]

12-25-10 Blessed

by Bill Brenner December 25, 2010 Faith

Yeah. Christmas really doesn’t suck like it used to. And I’m the luckiest guy on Earth. Life isn’t perfect. It never will be. Not supposed to be. But I’m finally starting to move past the idea that Christmas is supposed to always be perfect, sparkling and free of pain and strife. I’m looking at a lot of painful, hard work in the rear-view mirror. Years of intense therapy, the decision to bring my addictions to heel,…  [Read More]

Facebook Follow Friday: Christmas Eve

by Bill Brenner December 24, 2010 Gratitude

Welcome to the latest edition of Facebook Follow Friday. Each Friday there’s a tradition on Twitter called Follow Friday, and I decided to do a Facebook version here. What’s it have to do with OCD and addiction, you ask? Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grwP8QvI1jY&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Simple: A person in recovery needs the people around him/her to stay sober and abstinent. Most important are your family and closest friends. But the friends on Facebook can be helpful too, especially those who…  [Read More]

The Confession

by Bill Brenner December 23, 2010 Faith

Being the screw-up that I am, I need to empty the trash from my soul every few months. Last night I did just that. Here’s why Confession is so important to me. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSZv9KKf0g0&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Simply put, Confession is where I go to unload all the things I keep doing wrong. It’s just me and the priest. It’s a moment of truth, where I can be honest about myself before God and let the accumulated…  [Read More]

More on Kids and Divorce

by Bill Brenner December 22, 2010 Children's issues

Yesterday’s post on children and divorce hit a tender nerve for a lot of you, so I feel a few clarifications are in order. Mood music: http://youtu.be/kJHFaU0lpZ8 Here’s what yesterday’s post WAS NOT: –A rebuke of single parents. I know a lot of single parents who bust their ass and give their children a lot more love than some of the married couples I’ve met in my day. –A plea for people in troubled marriages…  [Read More]

Screwing Your Kids in the Divorce

by Bill Brenner December 21, 2010 Children's issues

When people you know go through a divorce, much is made over who gets what and who loses what. The ex-wife gets the house. The ex-husband gets full custody of the kids. But here’s a constant that’s most upsetting: The kids almost always get the shaft. Mood music: http://youtu.be/gvkvJo2VRJc Parents don’t usually mean for this to happen. They start out determined to shower the children with love and shield them from the ugly stuff as…  [Read More]

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