Bill Brenner

An OCD Diaries Primer

by Bill Brenner March 20, 2010 Addiction

A collection of posts that form the back story of this blog. Mood music: [spotify:track:19n9s9SfnLtwPEODqk8KCT] The Long History of OCD An OCD Christmas. The first entry, where I give an overview of how I got to crazy and found my way to sane. The Bad Pill Kept Me from the Good Pill. How the drug Prednisone brought me to the brink, and how Prozac was part of my salvation. The Crazy-Ass Guy in the Newsroom….  [Read More]

Forgiveness is a Bitch

by Bill Brenner March 19, 2010 Faith

Seeking and giving forgiveness is essential to my faith and ability to fight my addictive impulses. But it’s often seen as a green light for more abuse. Mood music: For you to understand what I’m about to get into, a review of the 12 Steps of Recovery are in order: 1. We admitted we were powerless over [insert addiction. Here’s mine]—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than…  [Read More]

A Suicide

by Bill Brenner March 18, 2010 Coping tools

The author’s message to some people mourning a friend’s suicide. He’s been there, so maybe these words will help. Mood music for this post: “Murder in the City,” by the Avett Brothers: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE7rkSELM3I&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Some acquaintances in the information security community are currently dealing with something I know about all too well — a friend taking their own life. I don’t know these people very well, and I never met the woman they are now grieving…  [Read More]

Hell Isn’t for Children (But Some Get Stuck There Anyway)

by Bill Brenner March 17, 2010 Children's issues

The author hears a lot from parents with children suffering from mental disorder. Seeking his advice might not be wise, though. Here’s why. Mood music for this post: “Sweet Chols ‘O Mine,” by Guns N Roses: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oobDQ0vdm8M&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Since starting this blog, I’ve been hearing a lot from parents. They’ve read about the trials of my own childhood, see things in their own children that cause worry, and want my advice. Not a good idea for…  [Read More]

Blogs to Live By

by Bill Brenner March 16, 2010 Adventures in writing

Once in awhile, I like to flag other people’s blogs for you to check out. Because it’s not always about me, despite what my OCD-laden mind often tells me. I’m reading the following blogs a lot these days because each offers  a unique slice of life. Let’s begin: Scorpionic — This is my favorite blog of late, because the writing is raw and edgy, just the way I like it. It’s written by my old…  [Read More]

Willie Wonka and the Cocaine Factory

by Bill Brenner March 15, 2010 Addiction

The author watched Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for the first time since cleaning up from a binge eating disorder. What a trip. Yesterday the rain was coming down sideways, so the Brenner clan decided to put in a DVD of Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It’s still a great movie, but since my main troubles with addictive behavior stem from flour and sugar, which I gave up on Oct. 1, 2008, watching…  [Read More]

5 Songs to Play When You Go from Angry to Punch Drunk

by Bill Brenner March 14, 2010 Music therapy

Now that I’ve come down from the morning cranks (mostly), my musical taste has shifted to something a bit left of zany. Allow me to share because, well, it is my blog: Spinal Tap: “Big Bottoms” (I swear, one day this will be the opening music for my weekly security podcast). [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzsWuqNlLK4&hl=en_US&fs=1&] The Blues Brothers: “Rawhide” [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5N35kQAPv0&hl=en_US&fs=1&] “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” as sung by Garland Greene: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px1W7ZOv3mA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Spinal Tap: “Sex Farm”…  [Read More]

5 Songs to Play When Angry

by Bill Brenner March 14, 2010 Music therapy

OK, so I’m not in the best mood this morning. Daylight-savings-time is messing with me, as are the kids. The rain that’s been pelting the windows all night disturbed my sleep, as did my getting sent to the couch for snoring too loud. None of it can really be attributed to OCD behavior. This is simply life, and the mood will pass after I’ve been to Church and we’re buried under blankets this afternoon watching…  [Read More]

The Long Road Through Self-Hatred

by Bill Brenner March 13, 2010 Addiction

The author has learned that it’s damn hard to like yourself at the beginning of sobriety and abstinence. The feeling will pass. Eventually. Mood music: A friend and fellow 12-Stepper just hit a major milestone in her recovery: 90 days of abstinence. In the world of compulsive overeating, think of this as 90 days of back-to-back sobriety. She worked hard for this and has every reason to be bursting with joy. Yet she’s uneasy. She…  [Read More]

In It for Attention and Fame

by Bill Brenner March 12, 2010 Adventures in writing

Since a big ego is often part of the OCD persona, the author has decided to see where Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter fit in. People with big egos often think of themselves as beautiful, even when they’re not. And as I’ve told you before, we OCD cases have big egos. [See The Ego OCD Built] As part of my recovery — and my larger Faith journey — I’ve had to deal with this issue head…  [Read More]

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