Bill Brenner

The Final Addiction

by Bill Brenner March 10, 2010 Addiction

The author on why he will shamelessly revel in his last addiction until he can’t anymore. Mood music for this post: “Dr. Feelgood” by Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU1zliOPCHo&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Addiction has led to many shameful moments in my life: Binging on a $35 bag of McDonald’s junk between work and home and walking through the door in a zombie-like state, feeling like the lowest of the low. Realizing that I HAD to have a glass of wine…  [Read More]

Waiting for the Sun

by Bill Brenner March 9, 2010 Coping tools

The author on how longer days mean less depression — for him, anyway. Mood music for this post: “Waiting for the Sun,” by The Doors: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0kypyGSKsE&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’m starting to feel it. The mental release that comes with longer periods of daylight. Sure, everyone loves the longer days and everything else that marks the coming of spring. But in my case, longer days means a reduction in my Prozac intake. And that’s pretty freakin’ cool. As…  [Read More]

Portable Recovery

by Bill Brenner March 8, 2010 Addiction

Though addiction will follow the junkie anywhere in the world, the author has discovered that recovery is just as portable. Mood Music for this post: “Turn the Page” — the Metallica version: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOibtqWo6z4&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’ve seen interview after interview where musicians describe their drug habits and how being on the road made them so much worse. One of the best examples was Motley Crue on the Girls Girls Girls tour, where the four band members’ addictions…  [Read More]

The Tire and the Footlocker

by Bill Brenner March 7, 2010 The stormy past

The author opens up an old footlocker under the stairs and finds himself back in that old Revere basement. As I dumped some trash into the garage bucket this morning, my eye caught a couple memories under the stairs. An old tire Peter Sugarman gave me a week before he died because he was worried that a tire on my car had worn down to the treads, and a green footlocker my grandfather used when…  [Read More]

10 Songs

by Bill Brenner March 6, 2010 Music therapy

The author shares 10 songs he’s listening to today. No introduction necessary, folks. By now, you know that music — particularly metal — is one of my main tools of recovery. So rather than blather on about why every song inspires me, I’m just going to give you a playlist. Just listen one at a time and, if you don’t care to watch the videos, just leave the music on for the appropriate Saturday background…  [Read More]

Post-Travel Blues (A.K.A. Pretty Vacant)

by Bill Brenner March 5, 2010 Depression

The author reflects on the zombie-like state he tends to be in after a whirlwind trip, and the not-so-smart way he used to handle it. Mood music for this post: “Pretty Vacant” by the Sex Pistols: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmHhB9zV_rQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&] So here I sit in my favorite chair by the living room window. The sun shines through. A thick cup of coffee is on the table beside me. I’ve gotten some rest. But there’s still a lot of…  [Read More]

Back to Boston

by Bill Brenner March 3, 2010 Family

It’s 12:45 a.m. west coast time as I write this, and I’ve just packed for the morning flight home after a week of pounding the pavement of San Francisco during the RSA security conference and the nearby Security B-Sides event. I was in OCD overdrive the whole time in terms of writing, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Seven articles, two podcasts and scheduled a high-profile interview for next week. I kept the OCD…  [Read More]

Sober in San Francisco (Aint Easy)

by Bill Brenner March 2, 2010 Addiction

The author has been sober and on a rigid eating plan to control his addictions for some time. But nothing puts him to the test quite like time on the road. Mood music for this post: “Saints of Los Angeles” by Motley Crue — [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XFMVHRZztM&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Here’s the thing with security conferences (and conferences in general): a ton of food is lying around and booze seems to ooze from every building. That used to suit me…  [Read More]

Early Morning

by Bill Brenner March 2, 2010 For travelers

I slept in this morning, which means I didn’t roll out of bed until 6 a.m. San Francisco time. Back home it was 9 a.m. It feels like I slept half the day away. That might not sound right to those of you who sleep more normal hours. But the truth is, I prefer getting up at 4 a.m. The house is quiet. I can write as the coffee seeps into my bloodstream. It’s peaceful….  [Read More]

Rain in the Wound

by Bill Brenner March 1, 2010 Coping tools

A couple months ago I told you about my friend Penny Richards, whose beautiful 25-year-old daughter was killed in a motorcycle accident in November. I read her blog every day, and let me tell you: The stuff she’s writing is going to help a lot of grieving people get through their melancholy in years to come. I really wish she didn’t have to be the one to set the example because she has to carry…  [Read More]

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