Children’s issues

Mister Rogers’ Mother Was Right

by Bill Brenner March 14, 2011 Children's issues

Say what you will about Mister Rogers. His speech and mannerisms may stop being cool after you hit puberty, but the lessons he taught are timeless and ageless. My friend Olivia Gatti shared this quote from Mr. Rogers on Facebook awhile back: When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day,…  [Read More]

You of All People …

by Bill Brenner March 12, 2011 Children's issues

Recent weeks have pounded home the point that I’m seriously lacking in patience. With Duncan’s issues. With Erin’s workload. And more. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjto02iDNZA&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Four words repeatedly ring in my head: “You of all people.” I of all people should be patient with Duncan. I was a problem child on a much deeper, darker magnitude than him. He’s a good boy. I should be a lot calmer when he has his meltdowns and gets…  [Read More]

Raising Sane Kids In An Insane World

by Bill Brenner March 10, 2011 Children's issues

Yesterday I was asked about tips for dealing with children who have OCD. Neither of mine have it (not officially, anyway), but our experiences with Duncan are leading us to some pretty all-purpose action items. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoGWe9l-OG8&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] As I’ve said before, my kids will be in a much better position to deal with mental ticks than I was, because I have coping skills to teach them that my parents didn’t have. First, a…  [Read More]

We Need Routines, Part 2

by Bill Brenner February 28, 2011 Addiction

Here’s one reason February has been such a bitch: My routine has been so far off the rails that it has been hard to keep my perspective. It hurts the whole family-work dynamic. For a person in recovery, routines are beyond huge. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YzKLRM-pr4&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Being the restless, boredom-shunning soul that I am, I always look forward to the next trip. I always miss my wife and children during these outings, but it’s also good to…  [Read More]

A Visit to Duncan’s Doctor

by Bill Brenner February 23, 2011 Children's issues

Monday Erin and I visited with the head doctor at the medical office we’ve taken the children to since they were born. The subject: Duncan’s behavior. The boy has a heart of gold and a razor-sharp wit, but as I’ve written before, winter messes with his mind as badly as it does mine. He’s always had his quirks, as we all do. Some of them are disruptive enough that we decided to have him evaluated….  [Read More]

Some Days, I Don’t Have My Shit Together

by Bill Brenner February 10, 2011 Children's issues

A lot of people read this blog because I always try to put a silver lining on tough stuff. But some days I fail to live up to the image. Yesterday was one of those days, when I let a 7-year-old get the better of me. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX8n5IiSB-8&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] You see, Duncan is like me in that too much winter messes with his mental balance. He’ll get goofy, sad and every emotion in between at…  [Read More]

Stuff My Kids (and Niece) Say, Part 4

by Bill Brenner February 3, 2011 Children's issues

Parenthood is painful at times, especially when one or both parents has had a mental illness that makes the smallest things seem like calamities. Addictive behavior isn’t good for parenting because it makes you selfish. A selfish parent is a disaster. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RZXaoaK8NI&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] I’m constantly worried about the kids inheriting my genetic disposition toward mental disorder. But Duncan helps me out, as does Sean, and, increasingly, their cousin Madison. In between the various meltdowns, the three children…  [Read More]

Message for a Young Friend

by Bill Brenner January 13, 2011 Children's issues

Two old friends have a son who’s been through the meat grinder too many times in his 12 short years. Some think he should settle in for a lesser life than he’s capable of. I say bullshit. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6a9WmfFKs8&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999] My young friend’s name is Mark. He lives in a city on the North Shore of Massachusetts. That’s all I’ll reveal about his identity. But his parents will know this is for him and will…  [Read More]

Death of a Sibling

by Bill Brenner January 7, 2011 Children's issues

Twenty-seven years ago today, my brother, Michael S. Brenner, died of an asthma attack at age 17. I can’t blame his death on the demons I’d battle in the years that followed. But it left deep scars all the same. Mood music: I think the end came for him at 8:20 p.m., though I could be mistaken. That day a trend began where I would befriend people a few years older than me. A couple…  [Read More]

More on Kids and Divorce

by Bill Brenner December 22, 2010 Children's issues

Yesterday’s post on children and divorce hit a tender nerve for a lot of you, so I feel a few clarifications are in order. Mood music: http://youtu.be/kJHFaU0lpZ8 Here’s what yesterday’s post WAS NOT: –A rebuke of single parents. I know a lot of single parents who bust their ass and give their children a lot more love than some of the married couples I’ve met in my day. –A plea for people in troubled marriages…  [Read More]

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