Depression

Hitting Bottom and Staying There

by Bill Brenner July 19, 2011 Addiction

I’ve gotten a lot of questions about hitting bottom. Specifically, after I hit bottom, how long did it take for things to start looking up? I got bad news for those craving the quick fix. Mood music: The first point worth making is that I didn’t hit one bottom like you usually see in the movies, where the addict falls so low that the clouds part and they see the light in huge, dramatic fashion….  [Read More]

You CAN Revisit Your Past (A Trip to Revere)

by Bill Brenner July 15, 2011 Addiction

Erin had an audio conference to record Thursday morning, so to ensure a quiet house, I put the kids in the car and went to Revere Beach, the scene of my tumultuous, painful, angry yet beautiful upbringing. I’ve written a lot about Revere in this blog. How could I avoid it? But I’ve been short on photos to show you. I fixed that problem with this latest journey back in time. Sean and Duncan had…  [Read More]

Boredom: An OCD Case’s Worst Friend

by Bill Brenner July 13, 2011 Addiction

Last year I wrote about how boredom is one of the most dangerous things an addict can encounter. It’s equally true for someone with OCD. Mood music: The mood music today is especially fitting for the topic. Like the addict who is bored, the OCD case who is bored gets an itch and restlessness that causes you to search and destroy. I’m a street walking cheetahwith a heart full of napalmI’m a runaway son of…  [Read More]

The Brady Bunch Offended Me

by Bill Brenner July 12, 2011 Children's issues

Sherwood Schwartz, creator of “Gilligan’s Island” and “The Brady Bunch,” has died at age 94. Naturally, I’m remembering how I hated “The Brady Bunch” for giving me a fake picture of family life. Mood music: I hated “The Brady Bunch” because it made me so angry that my own family was never like that. But then no one’s family is really like that. I did like the movie adaptations that came out in the 1990s…  [Read More]

A Happy Memory From A Difficult Time

by Bill Brenner July 12, 2011 Addiction

It’s sometime in October 2008. I’ve just given given up flour and sugar to get control over a binge-eating addiction. Mood music: I’m irritable and sick, going through all the aches and pains that surface when toxins start to drip from the pores. I’m coming up the stairs from work, anxious to get all the chores that await me over with. I open the door to find Duncan sitting in his chair at the kitchen…  [Read More]

Social Anxiety, Alcohol And Whatever Else Numbed Me

by Bill Brenner July 5, 2011 Addiction

Addicts often become the way they are because they suffer from severe social anxiety. To carry on in a large group setting is as painful as having a leg sawed off while wide awake. I know the feeling very well.   Item: It’s December 2001 and I’m at the home of the big boss for the annual Christmas party. I skipped out on this celebration a year earlier because talking to co-workers about anything other…  [Read More]

Looking For The Bright Side

by Bill Brenner June 26, 2011 Depression

My attitude sucks this morning. I explain some of the reason in my last post, but there are a variety of factors: Mood music: 1. Despite my best efforts to be the family man I’m supposed to be, I always find myself coming up short. 2. The weather has been a gray, depressing soup since I got back from California, where the weather was perfect. This makes for a hard re-entry. 3. I seem to…  [Read More]

Even If Talk Is Cheap, Drugs Alone Won’t Work

by Bill Brenner June 22, 2011 Coping tools

If a recent story in The New York Times is to be believed, psychiatrists are ditching talk therapy in favor of quick-to-the-draw prescription solutions because insurance companies won’t pay them enough for the broader treatment. As someone who benefited greatly from both therapy and medication, I find this disturbing. Mood music: [spotify:track:40T969H60rqt5v1tWZDEMS] From the article, written by Gardiner Harris: Like many of the nation’s 48,000psychiatrists, Dr. Levin, in large part because of changes in how much…  [Read More]

The Problem With ‘One Day At A Time’

by Bill Brenner June 20, 2011 Addiction

“One day at a time? You wouldn’t believe the crap that swirls around my head one day at a time.” –Anonymous Recovering addicts have a saying burned into their brains: “One Day at a Time.” It’s important wisdom to live by. But when the recovering addict has OCD, there’s a big problem. Mood music: Let’s look at the meaning of “One Day at a Time.” In the world of 12-step recovery programs, the idea is…  [Read More]

Fear and Resentment. Resentment and Fear

by Bill Brenner June 20, 2011 Addiction

For mental defects like me, a lot of what goes wrong is driven by fear. One thing I’ve learned in a 12-Step program for addiction is that the root of many fears is resentment. Mood music: You don’t have to be an addict to have resentments, of course. Most typical families, work environments and fellowships come packed with people you’re inevitably going to clash with. The more you disagree with someone, the more you’ll resent…  [Read More]

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