Depression

Everyone Has Opinions. Everyone Has Research. Does Anyone Have THE Answer?

by Bill Brenner August 17, 2011 Communication Skills

Readers have been sending me all kinds of articles lately about where addiction and mental illness come from and how best to recover. It’s useful and appreciated. But there’s a missing piece. A big missing piece. Mood music: Here’s the thing about addicts: We know all the things you’re supposed to do to get well. We know full well what is good for us and what is bad. And when the itch takes over our…  [Read More]

I Have Coffee, Rock & Roll, Gum and This Keyboard. Don’t Mess With Me

by Bill Brenner August 17, 2011 Addiction

Day five without tobacco is upon me, and I’m doing OK. Uncomfortable, yes. But OK. I have other crutches to keep me tobacco free AND free of binge eating: –I have strong coffee. –I have all the Rock & Roll I want, and I’m keeping the music playing. –I’m chewing a shitload of gum and my breath has probably never been so clean and fresh. –And I have this keyboard. Writing ALWAYS helps. But I’m…  [Read More]

I Started Twitching and Can’t Stop

by Bill Brenner August 16, 2011 Addiction

I have a major case of OCD Fidget Syndrome today. It started with an 8 a.m. meeting in work and seems to have gotten worse as the morning has dragged on. In the meeting I noticed I kept swiveling my chair back and forth and changing positions. I kept tugging at my clothes. I must have gotten pretty slick about it, because people didn’t seem to notice. Then we had a small editorial meeting and…  [Read More]

A Link Between Prednisone, Mental Illness

by Bill Brenner August 16, 2011 Addiction

Since I have Crohn’s Disease, I’ve been asked if it’s linked to OCD. Yesterday, someone took the question a step further and asked if I think Prednisone led to my mental illness. Mood music: Here was the question, as posed to me on Facebook: “Bill, do you think prednisone had anything to do with your OCD? You are the second person I know to have Crohn’s and depression, I have taken the drug in the past and…  [Read More]

Caught Smoking

by Bill Brenner August 15, 2011 Addiction

You’ve heard the sorry old tale of the addict who cleaned up from the addiction that made his life unmanageable, only to pick up three more vices. That’s me. Take the surprise Erin got when opening my work bag. Mood music: She was cleaning and found earphones that belonged to me. She unzipped a front compartment in my laptop bag to put them away and had the unpleasant shock of discovering where I’d been hiding…  [Read More]

Mr. Sunshine is on Sabbatical

by Bill Brenner August 14, 2011 Coping tools

It has come to my attention that I’ve been irritable lately. I’m not as outgoing as usual. I don’t have the usual energy. Those who have noted my descending mood trace it back to early June — after Dad suffered his two strokes. My initial reaction to that was irritation. Too fucking bad, I thought. So sorry I allowed Mr. Sunshine to take a sabbatical. How inconvenient for everyone. After a few minutes of that, I…  [Read More]

Rethinking Jani Lane Upon His Death

by Bill Brenner August 12, 2011 Addiction

Former Warrant singer Jani Lane was found dead last night in a Comfort Inn in L.A. at age 47. It’s unclear at this point what the cause is, but his death is making me re-think a few things about my attitude. Mood music: I remember when Warrant came out in the late 1980s. I couldn’t stand them. Sure, they sounded good. Crunchy guitar sound. Good vocals. But it all sounded so fake. I thought “Cherry Pie”…  [Read More]

An Expected Encounter With My Mother

by Bill Brenner August 11, 2011 Depression

I’m in my therapist’s office, going over the things he routinely asks about to make sure I’m playing with a full deck. He asks if I’ve talked to mom recently. No, I tell him. But, I expect to see her this weekend — the first time in two years. Mood music: He asks if I’m nervous about it. To my surprise as well as his, I tell him I’m not — and I actually mean…  [Read More]

I Am Absolutely Powerless

by Bill Brenner August 9, 2011 Addiction

Second in a series… Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over (insert addiction) — that our lives had become unmanageable. Mood music: I am powerless. Or, you could say, my addictions have absolute power over me. Even when sober and abstinent, they are right behind me, doing push-ups, waiting for my one reckless moment of weakness. Now that I know this, life is a lot better. I can do what I must to be well and I’m…  [Read More]

A Word Or Two On Amy Winehouse

by Bill Brenner July 23, 2011 Addiction

I’ve been asked for my thoughts, as a recovered recovering addict, on the death of singer Amy Winehouse at age 27. To be honest, I don’t think I have anything to say that hasn’t already been said. I was never really a fan, though I did think she had genuine talent. I feel for her fans. I remember the sadness I felt when Kurt Cobain died. It all goes to show that addiction and mental illness…  [Read More]

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