Fear and anxiety

Even If Talk Is Cheap, Drugs Alone Won’t Work

by Bill Brenner June 22, 2011 Coping tools

If a recent story in The New York Times is to be believed, psychiatrists are ditching talk therapy in favor of quick-to-the-draw prescription solutions because insurance companies won’t pay them enough for the broader treatment. As someone who benefited greatly from both therapy and medication, I find this disturbing. Mood music: [spotify:track:40T969H60rqt5v1tWZDEMS] From the article, written by Gardiner Harris: Like many of the nation’s 48,000psychiatrists, Dr. Levin, in large part because of changes in how much…  [Read More]

Fear and Self-Loathing in San Francisco

by Bill Brenner June 21, 2011 Addiction

Just got to my hotel in Santa, Clara, Calif., with a few random memories shifting around in my head — memories that illustrate who I was and who I am now. Mood music: It was July 1991 and I was with Sean Marley on my first trip to the west coast. I didn’t really want to go because I was afraid of everything and everyone. But Sean was red h0t about the idea, and back…  [Read More]

The Problem With ‘One Day At A Time’

by Bill Brenner June 20, 2011 Addiction

“One day at a time? You wouldn’t believe the crap that swirls around my head one day at a time.” –Anonymous Recovering addicts have a saying burned into their brains: “One Day at a Time.” It’s important wisdom to live by. But when the recovering addict has OCD, there’s a big problem. Mood music: Let’s look at the meaning of “One Day at a Time.” In the world of 12-step recovery programs, the idea is…  [Read More]

Fear and Resentment. Resentment and Fear

by Bill Brenner June 20, 2011 Addiction

For mental defects like me, a lot of what goes wrong is driven by fear. One thing I’ve learned in a 12-Step program for addiction is that the root of many fears is resentment. Mood music: You don’t have to be an addict to have resentments, of course. Most typical families, work environments and fellowships come packed with people you’re inevitably going to clash with. The more you disagree with someone, the more you’ll resent…  [Read More]

Fear and Duct Tape

by Bill Brenner June 15, 2011 Fear and anxiety

I was an anxious, jumpy, panicky little bastard when I was younger. Fear made me do the damnedest things. My sister Stacey loves to repeat the story of one of my more embarrassing moments. It used to piss me off. Now I can sit back and laugh with everyone else. So fuck it. Let’s review the morning a hurricane was coming and I went bat-shit crazy. Mood music: [spotify:track:6KfzBFMXEOs7LgBcG4ZxyT] First, some history. I’ve explained this…  [Read More]

The ‘Woe Is Me’ Disease

by Bill Brenner June 10, 2011 Communication Skills

Funny thing about us OCD-addict types: When the going gets tough, we blame it on someone else. Call it the Woe Is Me Disease, where the sufferer is an eternal victim, forever screwed by everyone but his or her self. Mood music: http://youtu.be/-q-MorIES5I It used to be that it was impossible for me to see the problems as my own. It was always the result of something someone else did to me or failed to…  [Read More]

Hospital Phobia

by Bill Brenner June 8, 2011 Crohn's Disease

During visits to my father in the hospital, I find myself jittery and all-around uncomfortable. It’s not the sight of my father, who is starting the long road to recovery after a stroke. Sure, he’s looked better. But you could say that of anyone stuck in a hospital bed. Mood music: http://youtu.be/C6LCttYOO9Q The discomfort, I’m starting to realize, has to do with the hospital itself. He’s at one of the best hospitals in Boston, and…  [Read More]

Morning After The Twisters

by Bill Brenner June 2, 2011 Coping tools

This is one of those mornings where I wake up uneasy. Several tornadoes tore through our state yesterday, but that’s not it. Mood music: I used to panic at the sight of a yellow-green sky, because that’s usually a sign of imminent tornadoes and hurricanes. But as I looked out the window, all I could muster was a “meh.” I guess that’s progress. But then I had other things on my mind. Yesterday I visited…  [Read More]

For Veterans, A Holiday Here and There Isn’t Enough

by Bill Brenner May 30, 2011 Addiction

Funny thing about holidays where we honor veterans: Everyone puts those who have fought for our freedom on a pedestal for the day, then the next day some of us go back to treating the same people like garbage. Mood music: http://youtu.be/V-zqIS7vWbY Flashback: September, 2010: I’m walking the streets of Brooklyn on a beautiful night, and a guy comes up to me. He has a hole in his head where his left eye used to…  [Read More]

Fear of Coming Clean At Work

by Bill Brenner May 25, 2011 Courage

No, not my fear. I came clean about my fight with OCD a long time ago and my work colleagues are nothing but supportive. At this point, my life is an open book. But for those who are at the other end of the spectrum, I came across an article that might help. Mood music: http://youtu.be/bWsYuW9ULdU It’s an item on About.com from Dr. Owen Kelly called “OCD and Work: Dealing With Employers.” There was a time when…  [Read More]

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →