Fear and anxiety

Diary of a Thumb Sucker

by Bill Brenner July 22, 2011 Children's issues

My son Duncan sucks his thumb. No big deal, but since he’s going to be eight soon, he’s coming around to the realization that it’s probably time to stop. There’s just one problem. Mood music: Much of the time, he’s not aware that he’s doing it, which can make quitting all the more difficult. Duncan usually does it when he’s tired or feeling insecure. It’s the latter part I worry about most. This is one…  [Read More]

Hitting Bottom and Staying There

by Bill Brenner July 19, 2011 Addiction

I’ve gotten a lot of questions about hitting bottom. Specifically, after I hit bottom, how long did it take for things to start looking up? I got bad news for those craving the quick fix. Mood music: The first point worth making is that I didn’t hit one bottom like you usually see in the movies, where the addict falls so low that the clouds part and they see the light in huge, dramatic fashion….  [Read More]

Killed By Fear (Doctor Phobia and the C Word)

by Bill Brenner July 18, 2011 Crohn's Disease

The Fredstock 2 benefit concert Erin and I went to Friday night hit me where I live for another reason besides a love of music: The event was also about raising awareness about colorectal cancer. I’m a high-risk case. Mood music: I never knew Fred Ciampi, the man the benefit is named for. He passed away this winter from colorectal cancer, and the benefit was also meant to help out his wife, Claudia DeHaven Ciampi-Biddle. (Donations…  [Read More]

Facebook Changed My Social Dysfunction

by Bill Brenner July 16, 2011 Communication Skills

Going to see The 360s last night drove home an interesting point for me: The Facebook world and the real world are indeed two different places. And it may have made my social dysfunction worse. Mood music: First, I want to thank The 360s for a great show last night. When I leave a show with my ears ringing, feeling like I’ve been kicked in the gut, I know I’ve had a good, healthy dose…  [Read More]

You CAN Revisit Your Past (A Trip to Revere)

by Bill Brenner July 15, 2011 Addiction

Erin had an audio conference to record Thursday morning, so to ensure a quiet house, I put the kids in the car and went to Revere Beach, the scene of my tumultuous, painful, angry yet beautiful upbringing. I’ve written a lot about Revere in this blog. How could I avoid it? But I’ve been short on photos to show you. I fixed that problem with this latest journey back in time. Sean and Duncan had…  [Read More]

The Brady Bunch Offended Me

by Bill Brenner July 12, 2011 Children's issues

Sherwood Schwartz, creator of “Gilligan’s Island” and “The Brady Bunch,” has died at age 94. Naturally, I’m remembering how I hated “The Brady Bunch” for giving me a fake picture of family life. Mood music: I hated “The Brady Bunch” because it made me so angry that my own family was never like that. But then no one’s family is really like that. I did like the movie adaptations that came out in the 1990s…  [Read More]

Not What God Wants Me To Be, But Not The Person I was

by Bill Brenner July 6, 2011 Addiction

The title of this post is a popular saying among those who use the 12 Steps to bring their addictive behavior to heel. It’s a good line to keep in mind when you’re ready to lose patience with yourself and slip into self-loathing. Mood music: http://youtu.be/jYpydtdlWxA There’s a lot about myself that still has to change. I still get angry too easily. I still get self absorbed. I still give in to OCD thinking and…  [Read More]

Social Anxiety, Alcohol And Whatever Else Numbed Me

by Bill Brenner July 5, 2011 Addiction

Addicts often become the way they are because they suffer from severe social anxiety. To carry on in a large group setting is as painful as having a leg sawed off while wide awake. I know the feeling very well.   Item: It’s December 2001 and I’m at the home of the big boss for the annual Christmas party. I skipped out on this celebration a year earlier because talking to co-workers about anything other…  [Read More]

Looking For The Bright Side

by Bill Brenner June 26, 2011 Depression

My attitude sucks this morning. I explain some of the reason in my last post, but there are a variety of factors: Mood music: 1. Despite my best efforts to be the family man I’m supposed to be, I always find myself coming up short. 2. The weather has been a gray, depressing soup since I got back from California, where the weather was perfect. This makes for a hard re-entry. 3. I seem to…  [Read More]

‘It Comes Alive And I Die A Little More’

by Bill Brenner June 24, 2011 Fear and anxiety

There’s a Metallica song called “The Unnamed Feeling” that nails an important truth about OCD and anxiety. We have our triggers, but many times we can’t see or describe what’s pulling us apart. Mood music: [spotify:track:4RCJ2xbTfJalOq7RtTsOPv] I mentioned this a little bit in a post I wrote earlier about A&E’s “Obsession” series: Things eat at you in a more gradual, quieter fashion. By the time the hand washing and contorted expressions begin, the sufferer has…  [Read More]

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →