Fear and anxiety

Headed Home

by Bill Brenner February 7, 2010 Fear and anxiety

The Shmoobus is slowly rolling northward, away from Washington DC, the snow and #ShmooCon. It was an excellent security conference, and a productive one. Six pieces of content written and produced in three days: 1 opinion column, three articles and two podcasts. I just wrote and posted the column from the RV. Because I could. Everyone is settled in with their Blackberries, iPhones, laptops and hand-held games. Thanks to the blizzard and the inability of…  [Read More]

ShmooCon and Snowmageddon

by Bill Brenner February 6, 2010 Fear and anxiety

Well, it’s day 2 of the ShmooCon security conference in the nation’s capital, and so far, so good. The booze is flowing all around. Folks are outside drinking scotch from plastic cups and juice bottles. I’m sober. I’m keeping the food plan together. I’m writing and podcasting. I’m drinking some damn good coffee. It wasn’t easy at breakfast this morning. The oatmeal was vile. But I ate it anyway. Got a plan to stick to….  [Read More]

Boys on the Shmoobus

by Bill Brenner February 4, 2010 Fear and anxiety

Given that I used to have fear and anxiety over traveling and impending bad weather, it’s amazing that I’m writing this from aboard a cramped RV, zipping through the New York area en route to the ShmooCon security conference in Washington D.C. A blizzard with up to 20 inches of snow is scheduled to dump on DC while I’m there. Yet I’m calm — even enjoying myself. How I overcame that fear has been told…  [Read More]

Helter Skelter

by Bill Brenner February 3, 2010 Addiction

The author admits that his OCD behavior includes an obsession with the Manson Case. Here’s why. Ever since I was a kid and I first saw the 1976 TV movie on the Manson Murders, I’ve been fascinated. I’ve read “Helter Skelter,” the book by Manson prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi, dozens of times. I own the 1976 and 2004 versions of the film on DVD, along with a documentary called “The Six Degrees of Helter Skelter,” where…  [Read More]

Rest Re-defined

by Bill Brenner February 2, 2010 Fear and anxiety

The author finds that he gets the most relaxation from the things he once feared the most. Mood music  A strange thing happened to me on the way to recovery: I started finding peace and relaxation in the very things that used to fill me with fear and spark anxiety attacks. [See Fear Factor] It used to be that relaxing meant holing myself up in the bedroom watching endless episodes of Star Trek. I watched…  [Read More]

Why So Serious? The Case for Self-Deprecation

by Bill Brenner January 29, 2010 Depression

The author on why self-deprecation is a handy tool for controlling demons. Mood music: [spotify:track:0g1HLSNG4KxjDXdeYMnLym] A few readers have told me I put myself down too much in these blog posts. Since I’m really not trying to put myself down — I do have a monster ego, after all — it’s time to say a bit about the power of self-deprecating humor. It’s true that I like to poke fun at myself. I do it…  [Read More]

Understanding Mental Disorders: The Brain as an Engine

by Bill Brenner January 26, 2010 Addiction

I’ve written a lot about my use of Prozac as just one of many tools to treat my OCD. [See The Bad Pill Kept Me From The Good Pill] Mood music: As a result I’ve gotten a fair amount of questions about the true value of anti-depressants. I’m not a doctor, so don’t take my perspective as Gospel. Also remember there’s no one-size-fits-all solution here. What I write here is based on my own personal…  [Read More]

Have Fun With Your Therapist (A.K.A.: The Shrink Stigma)

by Bill Brenner January 20, 2010 Addiction

Mental-illness sufferers often avoid therapists because the stigma around these “shrinks” is as thick as that of the disease. The author is here to explain why you shouldn’t fear them. Mood music for this post: “Just Another Psycho” by Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ko23M-4AAbg&hl=en_US&fs=1&] It’s a funny thing when I talk to people suffering from depression, addiction and other troubles of the mind. Folks seem more comfortable about the idea of pills than in seeing a therapist….  [Read More]

Marley and Me

by Bill Brenner January 8, 2010 Addiction

The author describes the second older brother whose death hit harder than that of the first. Mood music: [soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/48842027″ iframe=”true” /] It doesn’t seem right that a friend’s death would hit me harder and fuel my insanity more than the death of a biological brother. But that’s what happened. This is the story of Sean Marley, who introduced me to metal music, taught me to love life, and whose death was one of the…  [Read More]

Prozac Winter

by Bill Brenner January 2, 2010 Depression

The author discovers that winter makes his depression worse and that there’s a purely scientific explanation — and solution. My therapist and I recently agreed that my Prozac intake should go up a bit for the duration of the winter. I’m doing well for the most part, but there’s a three-hour window of each day — usually late afternoon — where my mood slides straight into the crapper. The reason is simple: People who suffer…  [Read More]

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