For travelers

A Year in the Life

by Bill Brenner December 31, 2010 Addiction

This isn’t a post about New Years resolutions. I don’t need a holiday to make changes in my life. IT IS about lessons I’ve learned in an effort to make resolutions. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNUU8jHXLMg&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] There’s been plenty of unpleasant stuff this year. I’ve watched two marriages fall apart. We had a couple months where money was painfully tight. My recovery has never been easy. But that’s life. A big fistful of goodness slammed down on…  [Read More]

Facing Down a Fear

by Bill Brenner October 25, 2010 Fear and anxiety

One thing I’ve become somewhat obsessed with in my recovery is facing down specific fears. Public speaking is one example. Now I do that often and with ease. Today I scratched something else off the list. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1Sypr3mF44&fs=1&hl=en_US] I’m in Toronto for the SecTor security conference, and before buckling down to work I took a couple hours to walk around and clear my head. Looking up, I saw the tip of the CN Tower,…  [Read More]

Dirty and Fried

by Bill Brenner August 12, 2010 Fear and anxiety

It’s been an eventful week and I am close to fried. But before I collapse, I have many hours of travel ahead. As daunting as that may seem, I’m feeling a strange sort of satisfaction this morning. Rough as this has been, I accomplished a lot. I got four articles out of the conferences I attended — one extra than planned, thanks to the Secret Service. I got to spend time with our cousins, who…  [Read More]

A New Jersey State of Rage

by Bill Brenner August 8, 2010 For travelers

It’s been one of those days: Six states in 14 hours. The plan was to do it in nine. Then I took a wrong turn in New Jersey.  It was the second anger management test I had in a week. I guess I passed. But for a few hours I seriously considered diving off the wagon head first. Mood music:  http://youtu.be/2spuprrj4Pg The drive was going well enough. We made it to New Jersey in record…  [Read More]

Saturday Morning Sanity Check

by Bill Brenner August 7, 2010 For travelers

Didn’t get up until 6 a.m., which for me is sleeping in. Kids came in the room, dragged me out of bed and down the stairs to the living room. Poured myself into the chair and used the kids as a blanket. It got cold overnight. They make good blankets. Got out of the chair after an hour and grabbed a Red Bull. Now I’m listening to this while blogging: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irskrVvKR1E&hl=en_US&fs=1] Gotta pack for the…  [Read More]

How the Recluse Became a Road Rat

by Bill Brenner August 6, 2010 For travelers

Since my OCD and anxiety used to make me deathly afraid of travel, it’s kind of weird that I do so much of it now without giving it much thought. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A47HVhzF6No&hl=en_US&fs=1] This time, me, the wife and kids are driving down to the D.C. area. Not a White House tour like we had a couple months ago, but good times all the same. The family will stay with relatives in southern Maryland for…  [Read More]

My Personal Ground Zero

by Bill Brenner May 19, 2010 Courage

A walk past Ground Zero takes the author from the darkness to the light. Mood music for this post: “The Engine Driver” by The Decemberists: If ever there was a day when I could relapse my way into McDonald’s to down $40 bags of junk and wash it down with four glasses of wine, this was it. My mood took a deep dive this afternoon. And the source was the last thing I would have…  [Read More]

Trapped in a Tin Can

by Bill Brenner May 19, 2010 For travelers

The author faces another lack-of-control moment. Will he survive? Mood music for this post: “By the Sword” from Slash’s new and excellent solo album: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AP_RIwHwJyY&hl=en_US&fs=1&] After only two days home from Washington DC, I’m on the road again. This time I’m headed to New York to give a talk on DDoS attacks at a security event. I’m glad to do it because after spending the first part of my life in sheer terror of public…  [Read More]

The Brenners Invade The White House

by Bill Brenner May 17, 2010 Addiction

The author on returning from a journey that would have been impossible a few years ago. It’s 5:30 a.m. and I’m running on less than four hours of sleep, so excuse any typos that follow… I’m back in my “sunrise chair” the morning after returning from one hell of a road trip that included a private tour of the White House West Wing, a stay at buddy Alex Howard’s place and a stay with our…  [Read More]

Road Kill (a Family Adventure)

by Bill Brenner May 12, 2010 Addiction

The author on why he’s taking the family on a 10-hour car ride. Mood music for this post: “Heading Out to the Highway” by Judas Priest: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoDbAd4fYBA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] A few years ago, this would have been impossible. I never would have put the whole family in the car and driven 10 hours south to Washington D.C. Too scary. Too much planning. Someone might break into the house while we’re gone. Well, the house part is a…  [Read More]

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