Gratitude

Road Kill (a Family Adventure)

by Bill Brenner May 12, 2010 Addiction

The author on why he’s taking the family on a 10-hour car ride. Mood music for this post: “Heading Out to the Highway” by Judas Priest: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoDbAd4fYBA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] A few years ago, this would have been impossible. I never would have put the whole family in the car and driven 10 hours south to Washington D.C. Too scary. Too much planning. Someone might break into the house while we’re gone. Well, the house part is a…  [Read More]

Peace With the Past

by Bill Brenner May 10, 2010 Gratitude

As bad as the past was, the author is no longer afraid to face it. Mood music for this post: “Yesterdays” by Guns N Roses: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57Fic0XjrSs&hl=en_US&fs=1&] The Guns N Roses song above is about letting the past go. “Yesterdays got nothing for me,” Axl Rose sings. I used to feel that way. But lately I’m finding it’s OK to go back into the past. I thought it would be better to leave past relationships in…  [Read More]

Digging Through Trash, Finding Treasure

by Bill Brenner May 8, 2010 Depression

I’ve slowly been digging through a bunch of old boxes I put in storage in my father’s Saugus warehouse, and while I have yet to find my old journals, I did strike some gold in today’s rummage fest. The biggest find of all: my late brother’s high school yearbook, which he never lived to see. Near the end of the book they put a page in tribute to him. Also in the pile: A very…  [Read More]

The Gratitude List

by Bill Brenner May 5, 2010 Gratitude

Some of the folks who have helped the author survive along the way. Mood music: “Life is Beautiful” (live version) by Sixx A.M.: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgtD7hb_h38&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’ve spent a lot of time digging up ghosts from the past of late. Yesterday I arrived at a better place on that front by feeling the joy of reconnecting with some people from that earlier life — people I thought would be lost to me forever because of the man…  [Read More]

The Healers (Adventures in Step 9)

by Bill Brenner May 4, 2010 Gratitude

Tripped on Step 9 many times. But I got back up. Here’s what happened next. Mood music for this post: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrUdulMG4Qg&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Of the 12 Steps of Recovery, three are the thorns of my existence: 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to…  [Read More]

Birthdays of the Dead

by Bill Brenner May 3, 2010 Addiction

The author observes another birthday for someone who isn’t around to celebrate. Mood music for this post: “On With The Show” by Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyapJ9iCWxA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’m a lot better at remembering the day someone died than the day they were born. I guess that’s understandable. Birthdays come and go. Death dates for those who are close burn a scar into your brain that makes the moment feel like it only happened seconds ago. Even if…  [Read More]

Happy Birthday, My Sweet Boy

by Bill Brenner April 21, 2010 Children's issues

Mood music for this post: “Beautiful Boy” by John Lennon: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uldu_1-JCJE&hl=en_US&fs=1&] You entered the world on Earth Day, nine years ago. Nine years. Wow. You were graced with a beautiful Mom and a Dad with just a few kinks in him. I would always try to hide my OCD, depression and addictive behavior from you, but I wasn’t always good at that. You didn’t seem to mind. In fact, you helped me get well. We…  [Read More]

Happy and Productive in the Debris Field

by Bill Brenner April 20, 2010 Children's issues

The author used to come unglued around chaos. Now it floats past him. Mood music for this post: “Sons and Daughters” by The Decemberists: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5H8DwJI0uA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Looking at the week ahead, it’s amazing I’m not hiding in a foxhole right now. I’m working from home the first part of the week while the kids are on vacation. Call it half a vacation, though I’m tackling a full plate of work each day. Sean’s birthday is this…  [Read More]

Random Madness

by Bill Brenner April 17, 2010 Gratitude

It’s Saturday morning, and me and the kids are engaging in our weekly ritual. In a few hours, we go to Salem, Mass., home of former Skeptic Slang guitarist Chris Casey, his wife, Nancy and their kids, Mark and Melissa. I’m going to help them get some old photos online and start a blog for Nancy’s writing. I’m going to look his kids in the eye and tell them that I’m a little bit responsible…  [Read More]

Scenes from the Airport

by Bill Brenner April 8, 2010 For travelers

The author finds airport amusement where he once found hell. Here’s what happens. Mood music for this post: “Learn to Fly” by Foo Fighters: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VQ_3sBZEm0&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I sit here at 6:23 a.m. San Francisco time, sitting at the gate for a flight home in an hour. Considering what I just passed through, I got here pretty quickly and calmly. Let’s back up. When I got here, the TSA line was as long as I’ve ever seen….  [Read More]

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