Gratitude

A Good Day

by Bill Brenner July 27, 2010 Gratitude

These are the ingredients of a good day: –Getting up at 4 and writing in this blog with a strong cup of coffee on the table beside me and Korn in the headphones. –Seeing the sun rise from my living room chair at 5:30. –Talking to my OA sponsor at 6:15. –Talking to one of fellows I sponsor in OA at 7:30. –Having an abstinent breakfast with the family and helping Erin get the kids…  [Read More]

The Kid Sister

by Bill Brenner July 21, 2010 Family

The 80s weren’t all bad, thanks to the kid sister who came along. Mood music: “Nobody Told Me” by John Lennon. I used to sing the “Everybody’s smoking, and no one’s getting high” line to my kid sister, much to her dismay. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBCdlBrgEmE&hl=en_US&fs=1] I’ve written about a lot of the darker parts of my childhood and teen years and how they factored into an adulthood of mental illness and addiction. But those years were brightened…  [Read More]

Lessons of a Thirty-something

by Bill Brenner July 20, 2010 Addiction

The author is reflecting a lot on things that happened in his 30s. Mood music: “Lunchbox” by Marylin Manson: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5Fo57AXW3w&hl=en_US&fs=1] Since my 40th birthday is next month, I’m thinking a lot about the last decade. In many ways, I’m not the same guy I was when I was staring at my 30th birthday. This has been a decade of healing, with a lot of broken scabs along the way. At the start of my 30s,…  [Read More]

The Perils of Service, Part 2

by Bill Brenner July 18, 2010 Addiction

Volunteering can be a bitch, especially when you forget who you’re there to help. Mood music for this post: “My Way” by Limp Bizkit: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQ8Qi86i82s&hl=en_US&fs=1] Once a month, I spend a couple hours on a Saturday volunteering in the food pantry run by our church. It can be a frustrating endeavor. Part of the frustration is my own fault. I should be there more often, but I’m only there once a month because I’m spread…  [Read More]

One Happy Head Case

by Bill Brenner July 14, 2010 Gratitude

The author on how to be happy despite yourself. Or, at least, how he attempts it. Mood music for this post: “In My Life” by Ozzy (covering The Beatles): [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByB7Id67v3c&hl=en_US&fs=1] When anyone writes about their journey from addiction and mental illness to recovery, it’s easy to focus on the darker things. But the truth is, I’m a pretty happy head case. I may be financially strapped and tired, but my head is in a better…  [Read More]

You Can Learn a Lot from a Dummy

by Bill Brenner July 12, 2010 Family

Sometimes, addicts look and talk like dummies. But they can teach you some surprising things about yourself. Mood music for this post: “Dumb” by Nirvana: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CYC8w-qstc&hl=en_US&fs=1] When you first walk into a 12-Step meeting, everyone in the room seems strange. People may be off the food, drugs and alcohol, but their speech may still be slurred. You dismiss them as dummies, failing to see you’re the same as them. They can teach you more than…  [Read More]

My Attitude is Gratitude

by Bill Brenner June 11, 2010 Gratitude

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life in recovery from mental illness and addiction, it’s that nobody gets better without a lot of help. God works through different people. These three entries are about just some of the people who have helped me along… Mood music for this post: “Classic Girl” from Jane’s Addiction: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_KFq8A32Y4&hl=en_US&fs=1&] We’re in This Together Now: Gratitude List, Part 2 The author realizes it’s not about what you do, but…  [Read More]

We’re in This Together Now: Gratitude List, Part 2

by Bill Brenner June 8, 2010 Gratitude

The author realizes it’s not about what you do, but who you are. Mood music for this post: “We’re in This Together” by Nine Inch Nails: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9BfvPjsXXw&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I used to have stupid ideas about how to measure a person’s worth. And when I say stupid, I mean STUPID. In my warped mind, you were nobody if you didn’t have a big important career. Then I slowly learned that it’s the overachievers like me that cause…  [Read More]

Home Sweet Home

by Bill Brenner May 21, 2010 Family

The author on returning home. Mood music for this post: “Home Sweet Home” by the Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrYmsU0ZknA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] There have been a lot of times in my life where I looked forward to coming home only to be sorry I was back minutes after getting there. When I used to spend six-week stints in Children’s Hospital for the Crohn’s Disease, I would always think about home. I would think of the day I’d be released…  [Read More]

My Personal Ground Zero

by Bill Brenner May 19, 2010 Courage

A walk past Ground Zero takes the author from the darkness to the light. Mood music for this post: “The Engine Driver” by The Decemberists: If ever there was a day when I could relapse my way into McDonald’s to down $40 bags of junk and wash it down with four glasses of wine, this was it. My mood took a deep dive this afternoon. And the source was the last thing I would have…  [Read More]

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →