Love

It Hurt Badly. Therefore, It Was Good

by Bill Brenner January 9, 2011 Depression

My cherished pal Penny Morang Richards made this comment to my “Death of a Sibling” post Friday: “It has to hurt. That’s how you know it was good.” Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPmtiLeMMow&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999] She said it in response to my concluding thoughts: I’ve learned that life is a gift to be cherished and used wisely. I’ve also learned that it hurts sometimes. That’s OK. She knows exactly what she’s talking about. Go read the past year of entries in her…  [Read More]

Death of a Sibling

by Bill Brenner January 7, 2011 Children's issues

Twenty-seven years ago today, my brother, Michael S. Brenner, died of an asthma attack at age 17. I can’t blame his death on the demons I’d battle in the years that followed. But it left deep scars all the same. Mood music: I think the end came for him at 8:20 p.m., though I could be mistaken. That day a trend began where I would befriend people a few years older than me. A couple…  [Read More]

Loud Love

by Bill Brenner January 1, 2011 Family

Last night I freaked out my 2-year-old niece with one of my loud laughs. I felt awful for scaring her, but Erin’s explanation of my voice volume immediately made me feel better. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jr0Boagp4Xo&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] “Uncle Bill has a big laugh because he has a big love,” she told Madison. Since I used to walk around with a big hate, the description makes me feel like I’ve made some progress. Of course, I’ve always had…  [Read More]

A Sober, Abstinent New Year’s Eve

by Bill Brenner January 1, 2011 Addiction

I used to revel in New Year’s Eve excess. I’d get blasted on vodka and “head-wreckers” in my Revere basement. I’d binge on Chinese food. I’d wake up promising God I’d never do that again, then I’d promptly break the promise. Last night I stayed sober and abstinent. The food was weighed out as usual. I drank coffee. The niece slept over. Erin introduced Sean to “Dr. Who.” Duncan read his cousin a bedtime story….  [Read More]

From Confusion to Wisdom

by Bill Brenner December 26, 2010 Communication Skills

I’ve crashed many times while blasting down the road of life. The car is in one piece now and I’ve learned to throttle back some. And when I hear the following words of wisdom, I KNOW it’s the truth: Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agn4y-M1rjA&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] ACCEPTANCE ?”Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill someone else.” – Matt Baldwin, Snow Rising (thanks, Cheryl Snapp Conner, for pointing this one out. “People are like stained glass…  [Read More]

More on Kids and Divorce

by Bill Brenner December 22, 2010 Children's issues

Yesterday’s post on children and divorce hit a tender nerve for a lot of you, so I feel a few clarifications are in order. Mood music: http://youtu.be/kJHFaU0lpZ8 Here’s what yesterday’s post WAS NOT: –A rebuke of single parents. I know a lot of single parents who bust their ass and give their children a lot more love than some of the married couples I’ve met in my day. –A plea for people in troubled marriages…  [Read More]

Friends in Crisis

by Bill Brenner December 3, 2010 Communication Skills

I have a few friends who are in crisis these days, making my own struggles seem trivial. Talking to them is a lot like living in the Twilight Zone. I’m used to being self absorbed. Mood music: [spotify:track:7bv9wNXN3FHKMRTMdi48fL] I have to admit something: I’m not that good at being there for others. Lord knows I try, but I get so stuck in my own head sometimes that it’s hard to see what’s happening around me….  [Read More]

How Marriage Saved Me

by Bill Brenner November 19, 2010 Love

A couple days ago I compiled some of my posts on how being a Dad helped me move beyond addiction and depression. My marriage to Erin changed me for the better in similar fashion. These posts are about her. The Freak and the Redhead: A Love Story http://www.theocddiaries.com/2009/12/17/the-freak-and-the-redhead-a-love-story/ I wasn’t looking for a soul mate when I met her. It was the summer of 1993 and I was doing just fine on my own. I was…  [Read More]

Me and My Wall

by Bill Brenner November 4, 2010 Addiction

When I get tired and angry, I have this wall I put up. Erin is usually the one who crashes into it. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpAbUvl3eTk&fs=1&hl=en_US] She’s been building a freelance editing business for the past year, and the hours she puts in would kill a lesser person. I’ve taken on a lot of extra things around the house to help, and for the last week or so the fatigue and frustration has set in. Not…  [Read More]

Maybe People Pleasing’s Not So Dumb After All

by Bill Brenner October 20, 2010 Love

One of the more popular posts I’ve written in this blog is about how stupid it is to be a people pleaser. Lately, I’m having a small change of heart. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFl0nlHaWa4&fs=1&hl=en_US] I still stand behind much of what I said. When it comes to trying to please the overlords of corporate America or the abusive parent in hopes that you won’t get hit again, people pleasing IS futile. Here’s the dark side of…  [Read More]

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