Marriage and relationships

Maybe People Pleasing’s Not So Dumb After All

by Bill Brenner October 20, 2010 Love

One of the more popular posts I’ve written in this blog is about how stupid it is to be a people pleaser. Lately, I’m having a small change of heart. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFl0nlHaWa4&fs=1&hl=en_US] I still stand behind much of what I said. When it comes to trying to please the overlords of corporate America or the abusive parent in hopes that you won’t get hit again, people pleasing IS futile. Here’s the dark side of…  [Read More]

Depression and Being Gay

by Bill Brenner October 16, 2010 Depression

One of the big debates that has always irked me is about whether homosexuals are born that way or if they just wake up one morning and decide to be that way. Having a gay sister, aunt and cousin-in-law, I have something to say about that. I’m sure there are a few people who decide to give it a try as a lifestyle choice. That’s their business. But every gay person I’ve ever met didn’t…  [Read More]

For A Brother and Sister

by Bill Brenner October 13, 2010 Faith

Two very dear friends of mine are in crisis. I’m not saying who they are because it’s no one’s business. But I’ll tell you what: I’ve had a lot of friends come and go in my life. Two of the closest friends died on me. It took a long, long time before I was willing to even consider getting close to anyone ever again outside my family. These two managed to break into my hardened…  [Read More]

Love Hurts, Love Stings, Love Endures

by Bill Brenner October 12, 2010 Family

Yesterday I remembered something the priest said during his Homily at our wedding: “You marry the person you think you know, and spend the rest of your lives really getting to know each other.” Another priest at another wedding eight years later told the bride and groom: “Your job is to get each other into Heaven.” Mood music: [spotify:track:6iCCvEH7xhkcsFTXnLVLIK] Sometimes you get to know each other and you don’t like what you see. Then things…  [Read More]

Back in the Real World, Emotionally Drained

by Bill Brenner October 11, 2010 Depression

I’m back from a very powerful, emotionally draining weekend. It was absolutely wonderful. I came closest as I ever have to crying a few times. More on that later. For now, here’s the talk I gave Saturday morning. I’ve embedded no links and all typos and rough edges are included. I’m sure you’ll give me a pass on that this time. Everything my new brothers shared this weekend stays between us. I’m only posting this…  [Read More]

Welcome to the Outcast Club

by Bill Brenner September 24, 2010 Communication Skills

An old friend is reminding me of the outcast I used to be and how like-minded people tend to stick together — even when they shouldn’t. I was actually quite a prick to Stevie Hemeon. I used to punch him in the Theodore Roosevelt School yard because he was one of the few kids I was strong enough to hit. He never deserved it. Yet he still hung with me, kind of how high school…  [Read More]

Happily Ever After Is Bullshit & That’s OK

by Bill Brenner September 21, 2010 Addiction

Often, when depression slaps me upside the head, it’s on the heels of a prolonged period of good feelings and positive energy. Especially this time of year, when the daylight recedes early and returns late. These setbacks can be discouraging, but you can survive them with the right perspective. Mood music: It’s easy for people who fight mental illness and addictive behavior to go on an endless, futile search for the happily ever after, where…  [Read More]

Old Friends

by Bill Brenner September 19, 2010 Gratitude

Just when I thought I was done writing about the Point of Pines, Revere, another old friend re-enters the picture. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMhhsafywkk&fs=1&hl=en_US] He tried to call me the other night and left this message: “Mr. Brenner, I just want to say sorry for being such a punk when we were kids, and for taking so long to call you.” And there it was. For the first time in more than 20 years, a message…  [Read More]

Run Out of Town (Or Off Facebook, Twitter)

by Bill Brenner September 16, 2010 Communication Skills

One of my security friends thinks she needs to delete her social network accounts because she lacks social skills. She tends to offend people sometimes, you see, and she wants to go away until she can learn to behave. Though admirable, it’s a bad idea for lots of reasons. At the height of my mental illness and addictive behavior, social skills were alien to me. Isolating myself from the rest of the world was the…  [Read More]

Sept. 11, 2001

by Bill Brenner September 10, 2010 Depression

Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing on Sept. 11, 2001. Here’s my own account. Mood music: I was assistant New Hampshire editor at The Eagle-Tribune and I arrived in the newsroom at 4:30 a.m. as usual. I was already in a depressed mood. It wasn’t a sense of dread over something bad about to happen. It was simply my state of mind at the time. I wasn’t liking myself and was…  [Read More]

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