Mental health

A Love Affair With Fire

by Bill Brenner November 16, 2010 Mental health

A couple days ago when I wrote about that OCD screening test I found, something from childhood came back to me. I’ve never forgotten about my fascination with matches and fire. But one of the questions made me realize that the childhood fascination may have been one of my earliest OCD habits. Mood music: [spotify:track:0ydzdWYWIFlGBurhjEXwit] The question was if I ever had an “overconcern with keeping objects (clothing, groceries, tools) in perfect order or arranged…  [Read More]

14 Years to Put Suicide in Perspective

by Bill Brenner November 15, 2010 Grief management

I’ve written a lot about my old friend Sean Marley in this blog. Some of you may be sick of it, but I really have no choice. His death is too intertwined with my own struggles to avoid it. Today is the 14th anniversary of his death, and I’ve learned a lot of painful lessons since then. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwPaMQ-3mFo&fs=1&hl=en_US] In the weeks leading up to his suicide, I knew he was badly depressed. I…  [Read More]

Duncan Likes Pink. So What?

by Bill Brenner November 9, 2010 Children's issues

Duncan is raising a few eyebrows in church and school because his favorite color is pink. Apparently, it’s only OK for girls to like this color. Right off the bat I’m annoyed, because girls don’t get the same crap for wearing a so-called boy’s color like blue. Duncan has a pink winter hat and a pink knitted coin pouch. When a priest saw him wearing the hat last year, a look of concern came over…  [Read More]

Asking to be Assaulted?

by Bill Brenner November 7, 2010 Communication Skills

Sometimes people say things that make me feel sorry for them. A few years ago I might have called them an idiot or something more Revere-like. Today I can only shake my head and feel pity. Here’s an example from the NerdChic blog. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie3NinwlX6A&fs=1&hl=en_US] Noirin Shirley writes in her blog, NerdChic.net, that she was sexually assaulted during a conference late last week. She names the guy who allegedly did it to her, and goes…  [Read More]

Me and My Wall

by Bill Brenner November 4, 2010 Addiction

When I get tired and angry, I have this wall I put up. Erin is usually the one who crashes into it. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpAbUvl3eTk&fs=1&hl=en_US] She’s been building a freelance editing business for the past year, and the hours she puts in would kill a lesser person. I’ve taken on a lot of extra things around the house to help, and for the last week or so the fatigue and frustration has set in. Not…  [Read More]

Passing Insanity to Your Kids

by Bill Brenner November 1, 2010 Children's issues

This weekend a friend asked if I worry about passing the “crazies” on to my children. The answer: Every day. But here’s why I don’t despair about it like I used to. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZeybYbTblM&fs=1&hl=en_US] First, a few facts: Some of my quirks were definitely passed down to me from my parents. The OCD comes straight from my mother, and the emotional wall I sometimes put up to deal with it comes from my father….  [Read More]

Why Halloween Doesn’t Scare Me Anymore

by Bill Brenner October 30, 2010 Addiction

I used to hate Halloween with a passion. It’s one of the worst days for someone with a compulsive binge eating addiction. Now that I’ve broken the binging cycle, I find myself in the odd position of looking forward to the holiday. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sohB922c2uQ&fs=1&hl=en_US] I used to dread it because I knew there would be candy everywhere. I would stuff it in my pockets, in the car and every other hiding space. Then I’d…  [Read More]

Homeless Men, Inc.

by Bill Brenner October 27, 2010 Gratitude

Observation: There are a lot of homeless people on the streets of Toronto. It’s a lot like San Francisco, except these guys have a stunning cleverness about them. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsCtUj9K_tw&fs=1&hl=en_US] You’re asking what this has to do with addiction, recovery and mental health, and here’s the answer: Whenever I travel and see someone living on the street, I’m reminded of just how easily I could have ended up the same way, and how my…  [Read More]

My OCD is Alive and Well

by Bill Brenner October 25, 2010 Coping tools

Packing for a trip to Toronto, I caught myself doing some very OCD-like things. Even in recovery, it’s always there, below the surface. Here are a few examples. Mood music: What I did: I checked all the contents in my laptop bag last night. Three times. I took the laptop out and put it back in three times. I checked my digital recorder three times. I thrice checked to make sure the bottle of Prozac…  [Read More]

Out of the Closet, Into the Light

by Bill Brenner October 23, 2010 Addiction

My kid sister-in-law told me a friend of hers has admitted to some hefty demons. I won’t mention the person’s name (I don’t know her, actually), but I know where she’s been. Mood music: [spotify:track:5F6rwEF15hN1jnhNk2YQHn] This is a little message for her friend, in the event she someday stumbles upon this blog: Outing yourself is a hard thing to do. When I did it, I was terrified at first because I thought my mental struggles…  [Read More]

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