OCD

Living in the Precious Present (If You Can Find It)

by Bill Brenner June 6, 2016 Communication Skills

One of the basic traits of someone with OCD is an inability to live in the moment. Learning to do so is one of my big projects at the moment.   I’m better at living in the precious present than I used to be. I can remember being a kid, always daydreaming about the future: what I’d look like and how cool my life would be if I were thinner, the clothes I would wear,…  [Read More]

Patience: A Virtue I Don’t Have (But Should)

by Bill Brenner March 12, 2016 OCD

I’ve done some soul searching this week and have realized something unpleasant about myself: I have absolutely no patience, and it makes me an asshole sometimes. Mood music: That lack of patience tends to present itself a few times each year. Usually, it’s because I’m waiting for an important event to happen — travel to a security conference, for example. Other times, it’s when a career opportunity presents itself and the waiting process feels like…  [Read More]

Packing for #RSAC 2016: An OCD Case Study

by Bill Brenner February 22, 2016 OCD

At the end of the week, I’ll be packing for five days in San Francisco, where I’ll write about the goings-on at RSA Conference 2016. When you have OCD, packing a suitcase is as ritualistic as the compulsive hand washing you’ve heard about. Mood music: Before I had the OCD under control, packing was an all-day affair. I’d line up all my clothes and accessories in order of the days I planned to wear them….  [Read More]

Skinny Like A Fool

by Bill Brenner August 22, 2015 Addiction

At dinner with friends one night, a conversation about weight control got started. It reminded me of how hard I used to work to stay thin, and how dangerous some of my methods were. Examples: –In my late teens, I got the bright idea that I could party and drink all I wanted on the weekends with no danger of weight gain if I starved myself during the week, often living on one cheese sandwich a…  [Read More]

You Are Bigger Than Your Thoughts

by Bill Brenner March 2, 2015 OCD

A reader once sent me a question about destructive, overpowered thinking — a hallmark of all OCD cases. She described a recurring thought about jumping out a window. Mood music: “I tend to get pure OCD (thoughts),” she wrote. “At the moment it is about jumping out a high window. I try to sort out in my head mentally why I am having this thought. Is it my true desire? Can I stop it from…  [Read More]

Heavy Metal Saved Me

by Bill Brenner February 2, 2015 Coping tools

I am your main man, if you’re looking for trouble. I’ll take no lip, no one’s tougher than me. I kicked your face you’d soon be seeing double. Hey little girl, keep your hands off of me…I’m a rocker. “The Rocker,” by Thin Lizzy A lot of people are amused to learn about my musical tastes. My work space at home and the office is cluttered with political and history-based trinkets, which would leave one…  [Read More]

The Only Way Out Of The Fog Is Through It

by Bill Brenner January 28, 2015 Coping tools

We all go through it: Something upsets us so much that we go into a fog; unable to function when we’re still required to do so. It rises up like a brick wall. Mood music: We smash into it a few too many times and go through the rest of the day dazed and confused. It’s a natural reaction to life’s more stressful and traumatic moments. If a loved one is sick or dead, or…  [Read More]

Magic and Loss – A Conversation with ‘OCD Diaries’ Author Bill Brenner (Audio)

by Bill Brenner December 3, 2014 OCD

Matt Bieber, host of the The OCD Podcast, interviewed me a couple weeks ago about this blog and why I write it. From his podcast site: Bill Brenner writes The OCD Diaries, one of the most well-regarded OCD blogs on the web. In this episode of The OCD Podcast, Bill takes us on his journey through OCD, overeating, and a twelve-step recovery program. Also discussed: Traci Foust, Lou Reed, Jim Morrison, and finding the most…  [Read More]

The Lost Generation of Revere, Mass.

by Bill Brenner November 22, 2014 Addiction

An old friend from the Point of Pines, Revere, sent me a note some time ago. He came across my post on Zane Mead and another on the Bridge Rats gang. For him, they brought up more memories of kids from the neighborhood who died young. Mood music: I’ll keep his name and certain details out to protect his privacy, but here’s some of what he wrote to me: I came across your piece in…  [Read More]

The Blogger with the Self-Destruct Button

by Bill Brenner July 16, 2014 OCD

I’ve been an obsessively prolific writer over the years, and, frankly, I’ve had to take stock in what I’m doing. Overkill is an art for those of us with OCD, and it’s hard to say no when someone asks me to do something new. I have two new ongoing projects. I’m doing a new podcast in addition to my Akamai Security Podcast. I’ve also started blogging for the Liquidmatrix Security Digest. But I’m still going…  [Read More]

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